30 Days no contact Dec 2022 - who's in ?!

[MrsMarkRonson]

Hi all,
Just broken up (had been going backwards and forwards for a while -was unhealthy - now I'm definitely wanting to pull plug).
Pretty upset still, was my first breakup after my marriage ended several years ago.
Anyway, starting today doing 30 days no contact - I remember it helped when my marriage ended:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/2669674-30-day-no-contact-for-the-broken-hearted-starts-here

Who's with me? today is Day 1 for me so far blocked on everything. Going to give myself a small reward for every day NC.

How is everyone doing this week?

I'm in. Been NC since NYE. We would've been together 4 years this month but the last 18 months have been hell and the year prior to that wasn't much better.

This will follow the same pattern for him:
Anger that I've done it, accusations of having met someone else.
Anger subsides, SM/WhatsApp status taunting about his fantastic life/new women.
Misses me and starts to "bump into me".
Off we go again...!

Except the final step will NEVER happen again and I'll do my damn best to avoid him bumping into me too! He's a narcissist and I vowed 2022 saw the end of it. I'll miss him but never want to be involved in that toxic life again.

Here to offer some support.
I am 4 months no contact with my husband - we were together 18 years 😞.
It’s hard but space gives you clarity and it’s definitely for the best. It’s almost like a drug addiction - you’ve been on it for 18 years and then you have to wean yourself off.
Ex MiL lives literally across the street from my DC and I - we were good friends. I see them coming and going each day and I have been no contact with in laws now for 10 weeks - their choice.
it bloody hurts, I’ve lost everyone.
What you will gain by no contact though is;

• no gaslighting / manipulation
• a time to reflect
• space to plan your future
• a time to be YOU

i hope this gives everyone a little hope that no contact is for the best. If I can do it, anyone can!

Welcome @Nugg and @WhatsTheStoryThisTime. As of today (10 January) I have just realised I am one month NC! Such a good feeling.
Hows everyone else doing?

@MrsMarkRonson well done! It's encouraging to hear that you feel good. So it's definitely been worth it then?

I'm really not good. Increased the anti depressants and just keep waiting for the day I wake up and go to sleep not thinking of him. And the mess my life has become.

He messaged me about something random out of the blue from his holidays last week, ended the conversation with speak to you soon. Why haven't I got the balls to tell him to leave me alone 😞

Thank you @MrsMarkRonson

Hit stage 3 yesterday, he "bumped" into my early in the morning when I was walking my dog. He has never lasted 12 days before but he has been away working - GOOD!
The emails started again after this, all of which I have ignored, HARD BUT HAPPENING!

Hope you are all doing well!

Hello all, how is everyone doing?

I’m up to two hours no contact 😢

@AngularMouse I managed 8 hours and broke it. Dont do it, it feels even worse when they don't respond. Back to hour 0 for me...

@AngularMouse @lifeisyellow Keep at it.

I caved and messaged and he responded....back to 0! Why is this so hard?!

@lifeisyellow Sigh . . . now I feel like contacting after a whole 6 weeks NC! (A big news story which he would have involvement in). Must be something in the air! is it a full moon . . .

Stop giving a shot about what he's involved in. Put the news off, concentrate on your own life and don't make a tit of yourself by contacting him whilst giving him that satisfaction. Focus on doing nice things for yourself today, maybe with people that actually care about and are nice to you.

Hello! how is everyone doing?

@MrsMarkRonson not good today I’m afraid. I don’t want to sound dramatic but I feel like a broken woman! Just got to keep thinking I was fine before him and I’ll be fine again. How are you? X

Hi, can I join in? Though I am not sure what’s going on, if I am in the mist of ‘no contact’, if he’s sulking or ignoring me but I need morel support not to message him.

Been dating on and off for a year, it’s been slow going, communication has been pretty rubbish but things were going well, been seeing each other twice a week, occasionally more and occasionally less but this suited me as I have dc at home and other stuff going on. The last few weeks he seemed to want to move things on, said he was dedicated to being in a relationship with me, was making plans for places to go, weekends away etc. we spent Sunday and Monday together, all was good until later Monday when a friend messaged me, he then got all weird with me and said he couldn’t trust me and said I should not talk to said friend again. Friend is a male that I happened to meet online (but we are just friends and exchange a couple messages now and then). I was taken aback and drive home. I was then angry so pulled him up on it, told him he doesn’t get to say who I am friends with. Now he’s not talking. He tried to deny saying what he said and when I quoted him the words he said he didn’t message back. So I sent the last message.

I don’t feel I should be the one messaging? There’s nothing really for me to say as he seems to not want to apologise. So I need to keep busy, not message him, if he doesn’t message then it’s pretty obvious he thinks his behaviour is ok?

I can see him active on social media which is kind of annoying me. I think I am mostly angry, I know I deserve better but I also feel a little hurt.