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Original poster

Confused with Tinder?

62 replies

Sandra1984 · 10/12/2022 17:48

hello, I started using the app, I haven't paid anything but not getting any matches, to those Tinder savvy people: do I need to pay? Which option is the cheapest in order to see matches etc...

Thanks and wish me good luck! :-)

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 11/12/2022 05:21

Thing is on tinder everyone sets their parameters of who they want to see, and most men in their 20s will set their age range similar to their own. Therefore the men you're seeing won't even be seeing you on the app to get a chance to swipe on you.
As a PP said try fabswingers if you want sex with younger men there are hundreds of them on there looking for any older women to have sex with!

Nugg · 11/12/2022 05:28

Definitely try Fabswingers you'll have a hundred offers in 5 minutes 😆

No seriously. Hide your profile immediately and take time to set strict age and distance parameters as well as only allowing men from with your parameters get in touch. Then enjoy!

ThatEdgyFeeling · 11/12/2022 05:54

I was on Tinder at 45. I can safely report that men in their 20s do not just set for their own age group. However, I had only put in 10yrs either side of me. It wasn't my thing. Though in RL I ended up with someone 10 years younger than me, for a year.

A lot of younger men are looking to fulfill a MILF fantasy. It used to be the most searched porn category.

heartbroken40 · 11/12/2022 06:13

For real? You sound like a predator, OP. And you do know that casual sex is risky right? Brave of you for posting on mumsnet though

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/12/2022 06:47

Have you said you’re just looking for hookups on your profile?

Tuilpmouse · 11/12/2022 07:49

heartbroken40 · 11/12/2022 06:13

For real? You sound like a predator, OP. And you do know that casual sex is risky right? Brave of you for posting on mumsnet though

You realise 20-something men are adults right? So why do you think it is predatory in any way?

LaLuz7 · 11/12/2022 08:25

heartbroken40 · 11/12/2022 06:13

For real? You sound like a predator, OP. And you do know that casual sex is risky right? Brave of you for posting on mumsnet though

What's predatory about it? She's signaling she's interested, she's not manipulating or forcing anyone into anything. These are grown men we are talking about. Early 20s might be a little of a gray area, but by 25 your brain is fully cooked, you're presumably a full well rounded adult 100% in charge of your dating decisions and capable to consent.

Oh and casual sex is risky? How patronising... you think a woman who's been on this Earth for 40+ years won't be aware of that? She's not a child. She's entitled to make her own risk assesment and have some fun if she so pleases.

heartbroken40 · 11/12/2022 08:31

@LaLuz7 the issue is that I see stuff on mumsnet (esp relationship board) which leads me to believe some women really lack common sense. And I don't want to be patronising but what OP said makes me feel absolutely queasy. As previous posters have said, imagine a 40 something man coming on here to say "only looking for women in their 20s". The uproar would be heard and felt on the Moon!

LaLuz7 · 11/12/2022 08:39

@heartbroken40 but casual sex is an entirely different context than a full blown relationship. Saying you're looking to only seriously date people 2 decades younger is problematic due to power and maturity imbalances. But the odd one night stand or booty call where there is no further entanglement other than having fun together? I don't really see how that could be damaging for the younger partner.

Twiglets1 · 11/12/2022 08:53

heartbroken40 · 11/12/2022 08:31

@LaLuz7 the issue is that I see stuff on mumsnet (esp relationship board) which leads me to believe some women really lack common sense. And I don't want to be patronising but what OP said makes me feel absolutely queasy. As previous posters have said, imagine a 40 something man coming on here to say "only looking for women in their 20s". The uproar would be heard and felt on the Moon!

It would only cause uproar on Mumsnet where people are keyboard warriors about their judgemental opinions. On Tinder no one would notice because I'm sure it happens all the time, men in their 40s setting their upper age limit to late 20s.

felulageller · 11/12/2022 08:56

24 hours isn't long. I've never tried it so can't say I have any advice but I'm fascinated!

I've always preferred younger guys.

Middle aged men give me the boak.

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 11/12/2022 09:31

there are plenty of men in their twenties looking for something casual with a woman in their forties.

I’ve seen lots of profiles where they put an older age to show up but write in their bio that are younger and looking for someone older.

as long as everyone wants the same thing there is nothing creepy about it. Good luck

Ragingoverlife · 11/12/2022 10:17

In my experience years ago men swipe everything then look after to see if they are interested when they match. But you have to swipe like 100 men to get say 5/10 matches.

girlmom21 · 11/12/2022 10:25

Ragingoverlife · 11/12/2022 10:17

In my experience years ago men swipe everything then look after to see if they are interested when they match. But you have to swipe like 100 men to get say 5/10 matches.

That maths doesn't add up

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 11/12/2022 12:12

girlmom21 · 11/12/2022 10:25

That maths doesn't add up

Show quote history

It's not maths. Tinder skews the algorithm so when you've not been on in a while they stack people who have already swiped right on you at the top - if you swiped right on the first 10 you'd get several matches out of it. They stack people who've paid for it to the top of the pile too. If you're a woman and swipe right on 100 men you'd get a lot more than 5 matches!

Original poster
Sandra1984 · 11/12/2022 14:08

Update: I got banned by Tinder.

I submitted the profile yesterday, followed all the guidelines, my 4 uploaded pictures (of me) were fully clothed classy portraits, I filled in the the profile with my hobbies etc... (never stated I was looking for young men or anything along the lines). I had a Tinder profile a few years ago so I'm not new to this, never had any problem. So this morning I got a message saying : "You're banned from Tinder". I would love to know what policy I violated but they won't tell.

Thank god I didn't subscribe to any of their paid memberships! I wonder if there's any feature to appeal because my ban makes no sense.

OP posts:
LaLuz7 · 11/12/2022 14:10

Wow that's a weird one. If you ever find out why the ban please do update.

Falalalalaaah · 11/12/2022 14:14

Jeez just "you are banned from Tinder"? That's a strange one. I honestly thought you'd have to go quite a long way to get a Tinder ban! Could it be a complaint from someone you've contacted on there previously?

Original poster
Sandra1984 · 11/12/2022 14:20

LaLuz7 · 11/12/2022 14:10

Wow that's a weird one. If you ever find out why the ban please do update.

yep, I wish I knew because it was such a lame profile with nothing out of the ordinary AT ALL. I may have messed up in the last bit where you're supposed to send a selfie video to verify your profile (Tinder has a facial recognition software to avoid fake profiles),so instead of taking a selfie video of myself I took a photograph instead (my mistake, sorry), I'm guessing their super sensitive algorithm marked me as a robot/bot?

I just found a way to appeal so I've filled in the form etc...

Will update with the results. crosses fingers.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sandra1984 · 11/12/2022 14:21

Falalalalaaah · 11/12/2022 14:14

Jeez just "you are banned from Tinder"? That's a strange one. I honestly thought you'd have to go quite a long way to get a Tinder ban! Could it be a complaint from someone you've contacted on there previously?

I opened the profile one day ago and never had time to contact anyone, so that's not the case I'm afraid.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sandra1984 · 11/12/2022 14:23

Just got an email from Tinder stating: "Your request (XYZ) has been received and is being reviewed by our support staff".

😳

OP posts:
quietnightmare · 11/12/2022 14:24

@Puzzledstill

You go glen coco 😂

newtb · 11/12/2022 14:30

I'm on 'adopt a mec' Tinder in France. I'm 66 and keep getting approached by 40 yr olds and younger looking for 'fun'.

Original poster
Sandra1984 · 12/12/2022 10:52

Update: I contacted Tinder yesterday, filled in an "appeal form", politely explained I had been banned apparently for no reason after following their guidelines. 12 hours later a real person in Palo Alto (California) from tinder headquarters (her email address showed up as [email protected] -not her real name- contacted me. there was a phone number and an address as signature in the email hence the reason I believe my appeal had been escalated to a real person. She profusely apologised and my Tinder profile was reinstated.

Apparently people have been posting too many fake profiles on Tinder and they recently implanted a very sensitive algorithm that will have you banned with the sound of a fly. When you sign up now you need to provide a verification picture video that needs to match your pictures, they do it through a facial recognition software. I believe I had my glasses on when I took the verification photo and the pictures on my profile had no glasses so maybe that's what triggered the ban?

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 12/12/2022 13:01

That sounds odd I got interest even when I had no pic on 🤣🤦🏻