Brother stealing from dead relative

[Namechangetimes100]

You might remember me from such threads as my brother faked being in the navy to con my dying dad out of £40k and have a slew of affairs and / or my brother is pretending to be in mi5.

all sound potentially fake but I assure you aren’t.

im not really posting for advice but just I need to get it out of my system because I can’t tell anyone in real life because it’s so fucking embarrassing.

He gets worse, prior to DF passing away about 6 months prior a close relative on dms side died and she was the next of kin, due to everything with DF the estate just kind of was left, until now. Dm enlisted b into trying to clear the house. Dm was largely unaware of what financial assets there were, bank accounts she knew about were frozen and funds used to pay funeral expenses, there was no will. Probate is still on going.

now to the pertinent part, dm found some investment and another bank account letters/ statements in the house, still coming through the letter box as no death certificate has been provided. She opened them, saw the cash inside the accounts (upwards of £20k) and put them in the box she was keeping for ‘important paperwork’, thought nothing of it, carried on cleaning, left the room and then came back to find b going through the boxes and pocketing the letters (which contain all relevant account info) he didn’t know she saw him. She asked what he was doing and he came up with some cover story about how she was mistaken. Days later, he’s asking for birthday and place of birth and if said relative had a passport (they didnt). M is concerned and right so given his past behaviour that he’s going to attempt to drain the accounts but yet she’s unwilling to do anything about it.

I’m not sure I can do anything as there is no branch near me, ive got 0 account info so I’d be calling with a random tip? Having worked in banking they might think me the fraudster? I don’t know.

i just can’t believe someone is such a low life.

he’s got a new girlfriend now and part of me thinks i should warn her, not that I’d be believed

best part is M wants me to invite him to my house with my kids for x mas!!! As if!

sorry I’m ranting but I just had to put this somewhere

Is there no other banking paperwork in the house?

I'm sorry your going through this.

Don't tell the GF. She is one in a long line, you can't them all.

If he drains the accounts it will come out in the probate and it seems he needs time in prison

My feeling is, as this bank don’t know the relative is dead as no death certificate has been provided and they are still sending paper statements, he may pretend to be them on the phone, and transfer the money or drain the account or get a new card sent out in the post and use that til the money is gone etc, rather than claim they are dead and try and access the funds, he wouldn’t be able to prove he’s next of kin.

but it’s ridiculous isn’t it, he’s honestly vile and he must have Aspd, must, there’s always been something not quite right about him

That sounds awful! I’m not sure what you can do but it surely wouldn’t hurt to call the bank and ask for their advice?

Why is there no death certificate?

Are you in the U.K.? A death has to be registered within five days of death. There can’t be a funeral until the registration. Has that been done?

I’ve told dm to go to branch with death certificate and proof of next of kin and basically freeze the account and ask if any attempts have been made because even if he’s not been successful in stealing, doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried. Banks are pretty hot on fraud and the account has likely fallen into dormancy and I think you need to present with id to branch to reactivate it or at least some sort of reactivation process, the person was elderly though so perhaps he’d wangle it that way.

but when is enough enough and when are family going to realise this and stop trying to force a relationship, at present I’m the ‘problematic’ for taking a huge massive step back from him and ceasing contact

Death is registered, funeral had all of that but when I worked in a bank (big 4) the next of kin had to present the death certificate to close the account but dm didn’t know that this bank account/ investment even existed.

there is a death certificate, he just doesn’t have it, that we know of, but he’s been known to break into safes before to steal jewellery, and that’s where the DC is, so maybe he has it? I don’t know it’s a shambles

Your brother is a manipulative conman, a Walter Mitty type figure.

Your family are in denial and your mother does not want to hear the truth re her son.

Worse still he’s physically aggressive, he’s attacked myself, dm and even DF when he was undergoing chemo

You can get a death certificate and present it to the bank or go to the police with evidence.
Before I took those steps I would send a letter to the bank reminding them of the death and their responsibilities.

Not too surprised to read this sadly. Have a Walter Mitty type disordered relative as well.

Did you call the police when he attacked you?. What did your parents do at the time?

Sadly I was a teen, although one time I did call the police as I thought he was going to kill me, they came and I answered the door they saw all red marks on my chest and face where he’d been attacking me, my mother turned up and told them I did it to myself. Truthfully I was blamed a lot.

he was the golden boy, and I was the one who bore the brunt of the physical aggression until I left home and then DM did, she called the police and then my father would send them away. Life time of no consequences have bred and ugly beast

there is limited evidence once again and I don’t have the DC, dm does

Sorry if I’ve missed something but can you call the bank to give them the heads up and say the documents they need for proof of death will be sent shortly. Even explain you think someone may try and access the money.

I remember your previous posts.

I can't believe what an absolute dickhead he is.

You can't control him.
You can't control your DM, only advise her.

Personally you have not told us 1 redeeming feature about him. He sounds awful and toxic.

I would go NC with him.

Surely anyone can get a death certificate if they apply for one?

www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate#:~:text=You%20need%20to%20register%20on,to%20research%20your%20family%20tree.

Did not know this!

If you put a grand on the table for me to name one of his good qualities I couldn’t.

to the outsider he’s quite charming and funny but that’s a sociopath thing isn’t it

Ring the bank. They will have a bereavement team. Tell them you and your mother are executors (assuming you are). They shouldn’t just hand over money to him without a will/death certificate etc.

I am sure that if you contact the bank, even without the death certificate - don’t most people get several? - with your concerns, they might at least put a flag on the account for any fraudulent activity.

What @Honeyroar says. He is 100% planning on clearing out the account

I was thinking this, but I’m also divided between doing this and in the not my monkey not my circus school of thought because my mum knows this is most likely what he’s trying to do but she’s sat on it for weeks and done nothing, if I act and stop him from whatever his nefarious plan is, it will keep happening over and over again and truthfully I’m sick of it, sounds harsh but I do feel like she needs to learn her lesson.

in her eyes he’s the victim always, he came out the victim when pretending to be in the navy to con my dad, which he clealry did he was unemployed / working for brief stints as a bartender and he’s been doing this is whole adult life and yet in one year, bought an expensive engagement ring, a house, a merc suv and paid for a rather lavish wedding…

then the mi5, he’s the victim there too.

when he’s stolen a pensioners x mas money, brushed away as no concrete proof, when he stole 10k worth of jewellery, brushed away when he used to use and spend on my parents credit and debit cards and max them out, to the extent that they had to hide them from him, stole my wages all brushed away and when I was 12 I pinched £5 left on the side. It’s been going on for nearly 20 years

I’m nothing on the account, there was no will, relative died intestate my mother is just next of kin.

im hoping they’ll be shit hot on this sort of stuff, in this day and age but just because he’s unsuccessful doesn’t mean he won’t have tried and I think this is the crucial part that my mother needs to see, even if he’s not successful the intention is still there.

he’s in financial difficulty due to the house he owned with his ex, so he’s got clear motive too

You can have a search done to see if there are any accounts open in your fathers name at any bank or building society. I think the bank did it for us. Although they were pretty useless so maybe not! But you can definitely have it done. Go in to the bank and speak to someone. Take the death certificate in and freeze the accounts you know about.

You can order copies of the death certificate