My DP.was propositioned by a man and didn't tell me

[ThatEdgyFeeling]

An odd one. My DP is 51, ex army, now in another very macho male field. Muscly, stocky, very much a bloke. Despite his old fashioned slightly right wing views, he has always been gay positive. Which I loved as men of his background often are not.( his friends etc)

However, I now am beginning to wonder if it may be that, on the gay spectrum, he may be more bi curious than I thought.

We have an incredibly adventurous sex life. In the two years together we have got into mild BDSM and he also has a nylon fetish. We started off with him being the dom and now switch around 50%, where I am the domme and he has really embraced anal play. He didn't know much about bdsm before we met.

However, I think this is making him curious about gay sex. He is away with work and I had dinner with a friend. Somehow it came up that when they had been at men's group dinner in a hotel while back, another guest had come up a few times to talk to him and, at the end of the night suggested he joined him in his room. My DP breezily waved him off,with a 'Not for me, thanks'. My male friend said it was cool and relaxed.

However, I am now wondering how many straight men get propositioned. That was a pretty confident attempt. Was this man's gaydar up?

It has unsettled me.

@TinselAngel
you and me both

My DH (not gay) and his twin brother (gay) used to go clubbing together and DH would get hit on way more than BIL. For some reason, gay men really like DH! He finds it flattering, but hasn't ever been tempted (even after being plied with drink and free drugs!).

I disagree with PP saying there's no spectrum of sexuality though. I would not call myself bi as I have only had relationships with men and find men predominantly more attractive but I do find some women sexually attractive and have had some sexual experiences involving women. I would feel a fraud call myself bi thought as I feel that's more 50/50.

Yep occasionally

ive been chatted up by blokes and politely declined. I’ve been chatted up by women and politely declined. Both quite rare now tbf.

I don’t recall if I’ve informed my partner every time this brief and unremarkable thing occurred. I’m sure she’s also been chatted up, declined, and thought no more of it.

*This is only anecdotal having been out in public with my cousin who is gay

In my experience gay men have been very forward in coming up to men they fancy. Doesn’t matter if the guy that catches their eye happens to be straight, they will still chance their arm even after they find out.

I wouldn’t be concerned about this at all OP.

There is a real stigma and stereotype around that bi people will more or less sleep with anyone. I think you have to be careful not to play into that - if he's bi and faithful then that's 100% the same as being straight and faithful, no?

You're thinking that it would be unusual for a gay man to risk approaching a macho looking random man on the off chance he was gay, and are wondering if your partner is giving off signals the approach would be welcome? Staring, eye contact etc?
As a straight woman I can offer only second hand thoughts on this, but my friend who is a gay man is extremely cautious, and approaches only when there is strong indication the man is gay (gay bar for example) or where a man is giving signals of attraction. Obviously everyone is different, but tbh, it's unusual for a woman to suspect a man is gay/bi and be wrong.

Obviously everyone is different, but tbh, it's unusual for a woman to suspect a man is gay/bi and be wrong.

Based on what exactly?

Based on the fact that typically women who are in relationships with heterosexual presenting men don't go round thinking they're gay/bi unless the man has told them otherwise or they have good reason to suspect from his behaviour.
A woman who feels the need to ask the question will be doing so based on intimate knowledge of the man in question, and so is in a strong position to judge.
The OP doesn't suspect he's gay because he's bought a pink shirt. She has sex with the man.

OPs suspicioun seems to be based on another man finding him attractive.

To be honest it happens more often than you'd realise. As Men are quite forward in their advances towards women equally could be said about their attention to men. My girlfriend calls me a gay icon as its seens to happen to me often! Funniest one was in Morrisons in Bridport on holiday a couple of years ago...talk about blatant 😆

If he also wears the stockings there could be another whole thing going on

Zombie

Nothing you've said about your dp gives any indication that he might be bi, or even curious. I don't think you have anything to be worried about at all.

I'm open minded and no homophobe, but never been interested or even curious myself. And I'm pretty sure I've never intentionally given that signal to anyone either. But I've lost track of the number of times gay men have come on to me, either discreetly or outright propositioned. Especially so when I was younger (late teens to mid 20's) by much older blokes. With hindsight it was often rather predatory. I think there are quite a lot of gay men who are incredibly promiscuous and will literally try it on with every man they meet.