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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is it better to be married, financially?

79 replies

SussexRoyal · 07/12/2022 15:58

A genuine question having read countless posts suggesting it is better to be married for financial reasons - out of interest, why?

My partner and I are very much in love, have 1 DC and another due next year, own a house together, have never had any arguments over financial matters and everything is split very fairly. However, we are not married. This mainly came from me as I’m not that bothered by marriage. What are the reasons (other than love) that we should get married?

OP posts:
JustLyra · 09/12/2022 11:44

123woop · 09/12/2022 08:24

I don't know any women who've had a 'financial hit' to have kids though? Any 'hit' on finances has affected both couples (childcare is a shared expense) and most of the women I know earn the same, if not usually significantly more, than their partners, and certainly more than they did pre-kids. They also plan better as they know how expensive childcare is, as an example, and most, if not all when i think about it, have gone self-employed or freelance after having children so childcare can be more flexible and thus less expensive.
Myself and my partner are worth the same amount of money so getting married wouldn't benefit either of us should it end in divorce. And anyone I know who's married someone with more money/assets (or they themselves have more money/assest) has insisted on a legally binding pre-nup which is legally taken into consideration in the event of divorce.

If every woman you know has taken no hit in earnings, job security or pension to have children plus everyone you know has legally binding prenups then the general situation where women categorically do take a hit doesn’t apply to you.

However, that is not the norm. Hence it being curious to know where someone giving legal advice would get an unusual stance from.

JustLyra · 09/12/2022 11:45

And if every woman you know earns the same or significantly more than their partners @123woop then you certainly have a non-usual bunch around you.

FlowerArranger · 09/12/2022 11:54

PuttingDownRoots · 09/12/2022 08:57

You need to think of the What Ifs...
What If we have a disabled child and one of us needs to give up work... how can we financially protect them (male or female)
What If one of you can no longer work
What If you get a brilliant work opportunity abroad
What if one of you wins the lottery, or gets a massive inheritance

I don't thinkbtgeres one right answer. It is definitely financially advantageous for DH and I to be married due to his job. But it might be safer for other people to be unmarried.

Indeed.

And wills and pension beneficiaries can be changed. Without the person previously named as beneficiary being informed.

That's before you get into the whole concept of building a life together, being a team, being focused on what benefits both parties (and children!) - rather than just looking out for Number One.

Aria999 · 09/12/2022 23:57

If you build a life together you are likely to end up with joint assets.

Marriage provides a legal framework for dividing them up in the event of a breakup or as pp have said for ensuring the other partner continues to own them if one of you dies.

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