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Original poster

I contacted an old flame...

38 replies

anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 06/12/2022 21:37

He's quite possibly my one that got away. We were at school together, we had a couple of dates in our early twenties that didn't really go anywhere as I was travelling and I guess we were both playing the field a bit. He messaged me about 6 years later saying that he'd been a fool not to pursue things with me. I messaged him back but as I was married at the time the emails ended there.

I've been divorced for 5 years now and have thought of him on and off ever since I last saw him but increasingly in the past few months. For various reasons I decided life was too short so I emailed him at the weekend asking him if he wanted to meet up and catch up. Made it clear that if he's with someone to just take it as some good vibes coming his way. Frustratingly he's not on any social media and I don't know anyone still in contact with him. If I knew he was with someone I wouldn't have contacted him.

No reply yet in fact his email address was about 20 years old so may be defunct. Anyway, I just had to tell someone else... am full of nostaliga and possibly rose- tinted spectacles but nothing ventured nothing gained...

Anyone ever done anything similar? If so, how did it work out?

OP posts:
Poppchipps · 06/12/2022 22:16

I'm in a very similar boat, although my 'one that got away' contacted me.
It's really thrown me to be honest and made me question a lot of things. 20 odd years since we last seen each other and 11 years since we last messaged.
Out of the blue, here he is.

I have no idea what will happen but I can't get him out of my head and it's made me think of the past constantly since he messaged. He's the first man I ever really loved.
I'm interested to see what happens with your story!

determinedtomakethiswork · 06/12/2022 22:17

Have you tried LinkedIn?

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 06/12/2022 22:37

@Poppchipps well that's exciting! Are you currently single? Do you think you'll meet up with him? Intersted to hear what happens!

@determinedtomakethiswork yeah thanks I tried LinkedIn/Google/FB/Insta. There's maybe an account on Twitter that could be his but it's only a few months old and is pretty sparse. Didn't want to risk messaging him on there in case it's not him.

Eek... send vibes!

OP posts:
Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2022 06:15

Oh I love this! Please keep us updated should he respond. Sending the vibes

Naunet · 07/12/2022 09:03

I have one, met him when I was about 19, never anything serious but hooked up over a couple of years and then I moved away. We always kept in touch, just once a year or so one of us would reach out and we’d exchange a few emails. It’s been over 20 years now. We both think of each other as the one who got away, but sadly the timing has never been right to give things a shot. Probably for the best because really I think we’re just extremely attracted to each other and because of that have projected the rest. I doubt it would have ever really worked out, but it’s a nice fantasy sometimes.

Bookworm20 · 07/12/2022 10:17

Good luck OP, you never know! My cousin dated someone when they were teenagers, lost touch, both got married, kids etc and then 4 years ago bumped into each other at a reunion thing for another old mutual friend. They were both single then and long story short, they got married last year!

Sartre · 07/12/2022 11:01

Someone did it to me the other day and it was really weird tbh, it kinda freaked me out. We went on a couple of dates before I met my DH years ago and I definitely haven’t thought about him since. He contacted me out of nowhere to tell me I was the one that got away and he thought we should meet up and fall in love Confused.

No idea what his agenda was, whether he was just bored and decided to contact various women from the past to see who reacted or what but it was really weird. I did respond but only to shoot him down which he didn’t appreciate!

Trinity65 · 07/12/2022 11:32

anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 06/12/2022 21:37

He's quite possibly my one that got away. We were at school together, we had a couple of dates in our early twenties that didn't really go anywhere as I was travelling and I guess we were both playing the field a bit. He messaged me about 6 years later saying that he'd been a fool not to pursue things with me. I messaged him back but as I was married at the time the emails ended there.

I've been divorced for 5 years now and have thought of him on and off ever since I last saw him but increasingly in the past few months. For various reasons I decided life was too short so I emailed him at the weekend asking him if he wanted to meet up and catch up. Made it clear that if he's with someone to just take it as some good vibes coming his way. Frustratingly he's not on any social media and I don't know anyone still in contact with him. If I knew he was with someone I wouldn't have contacted him.

No reply yet in fact his email address was about 20 years old so may be defunct. Anyway, I just had to tell someone else... am full of nostaliga and possibly rose- tinted spectacles but nothing ventured nothing gained...

Anyone ever done anything similar? If so, how did it work out?

I have thought about it, Yes.
Went as far as to find where he now lives but there is also a woman listed as living there
I will not rock a boat over somebody I last saw 25 odd years ago though.

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 14:26

Sartre · 07/12/2022 11:01

Someone did it to me the other day and it was really weird tbh, it kinda freaked me out. We went on a couple of dates before I met my DH years ago and I definitely haven’t thought about him since. He contacted me out of nowhere to tell me I was the one that got away and he thought we should meet up and fall in love Confused.

No idea what his agenda was, whether he was just bored and decided to contact various women from the past to see who reacted or what but it was really weird. I did respond but only to shoot him down which he didn’t appreciate!

This does sound freaky. I kept mine quite breezy - just be nice to see you again do you want to meet up - type of thing. Nothing about meeting up and falling in love! Was he rude when you rejected his advances?

OP posts:
Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 14:30

Thanks for the good vibes. Still nothing... am trying to put it out of my mind.

No, if I knew he was with someone I wouldn't have emailed. I wondered how my email might land but figured even if he is, I'm not automatically going to turn his head. And if I do, it's a red flag so I wouldn't bother.

Oh heck... will let you know if I hear anything.

OP posts:
Mummysgonetobed · 07/12/2022 14:30

I’m now in a relationship with my one that got away 22 years ago. Briefly kept in touch over the years but timing never right. We’ve 7 children between us now so not plain sailing but it’s fabulous to be back with him!
good luck! Hope he replies

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 14:31

Mummysgonetobed · 07/12/2022 14:30

I’m now in a relationship with my one that got away 22 years ago. Briefly kept in touch over the years but timing never right. We’ve 7 children between us now so not plain sailing but it’s fabulous to be back with him!
good luck! Hope he replies

Oh how wonderful 😊

OP posts:
TiAmoTiAmo · 07/12/2022 14:48

Message on Twitter he should get an email notification to a more current email presumably since he was on Twitter a few months ago.. this might be better than a 20 year old email.

YouTarzan · 07/12/2022 14:52

An email address practically from the millennium? To be honest I would assume that would be defunct.

PollyAmour · 07/12/2022 14:54

You must be able to track him down somehow! I'm assuming you've googled his name?

I googled my first love during lockdown and to my horror, discovered he's become an evangelical Christian and is now a preacher. A far cry from the bad boy wannabe rockstar I fell in love with at 17 Xmas Grin Plus his curly locks have been replaced by a shiny dome of baldness. Shallow? Who, me? As a friend pointed out, I, too, look somewhat different to my 17yo self.

Lanty · 07/12/2022 15:00

Hello! I'm married to mine now and we have a little boy. Brief fling in our early 20s, got back together in our mid 30s. He contacted me out of the blue and we messaged for a year before meeting up - I did keep him at arm's length for a little while to be honest, wasn't keen to rush after coming out of a troubled long term relationship, but also bizarrely knew I was going to marry him as soon as I got that first message.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/12/2022 15:03

There's maybe an account on Twitter that could be his but it's only a few months old and is pretty sparse. Didn't want to risk messaging him on there in case it's not him.

What risk do you think there is?

Zanatdy · 07/12/2022 15:14

Oh good luck OP! I hope he responds. Like you say could be an old email address. Any mutual friends?

Georgeskitchen · 07/12/2022 15:26

I was ghosted in the 80s by someone I fell for quite heavily.
He just disappeared. No mobiles, social media back then obviously.
I found him on FB a few years back and after several glasses of wine I messaged him. After a few weeks and no response with the message showing unread, I unsent the message and blocked him 😆 in my sober state and without my rose tinted specs I remember that, actually, he was a bit of with dickhead 😉

Trinity65 · 07/12/2022 16:26

Georgeskitchen · 07/12/2022 15:26

I was ghosted in the 80s by someone I fell for quite heavily.
He just disappeared. No mobiles, social media back then obviously.
I found him on FB a few years back and after several glasses of wine I messaged him. After a few weeks and no response with the message showing unread, I unsent the message and blocked him 😆 in my sober state and without my rose tinted specs I remember that, actually, he was a bit of with dickhead 😉

I often wonder if things had been different, in my case, had we had social media and mobile phones back then, but I will never know.

My one who was possibly The One seems to have no Social Media history anywhere. I did think the worse might have happened to Him in that case hence I did nose on Census records but glad to say He is still alive.

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 17:23

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/12/2022 15:03

There's maybe an account on Twitter that could be his but it's only a few months old and is pretty sparse. Didn't want to risk messaging him on there in case it's not him.

What risk do you think there is?

I really wasn't sure if it was him and felt a bit exposed as Twitter is so horrible. To be quite honest too I think I look quite boring on there as all I do is retweet things about politics and climate change. Thought email would be more neutral but maybe that was naive. I still use my original email address for various things though.

OP posts:
Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 17:28

PollyAmour · 07/12/2022 14:54

You must be able to track him down somehow! I'm assuming you've googled his name?

I googled my first love during lockdown and to my horror, discovered he's become an evangelical Christian and is now a preacher. A far cry from the bad boy wannabe rockstar I fell in love with at 17 Xmas Grin Plus his curly locks have been replaced by a shiny dome of baldness. Shallow? Who, me? As a friend pointed out, I, too, look somewhat different to my 17yo self.

It's really weird that he's got no social media presence. There's a Facebook account in his name but completely blank. I did google him but all that came up was a memorial page of someone possibly his dad who had passed away and it just listed what I assume is his partner, this guy, his sister (whose name I know for sure) and "many family and friends". No-one that could be a wife or girlfriend. I have one person who I'm FB friends with but not really in real life and felt a bit like school asking his friend about him. Ugh am doubting my choices now!

OP posts:
Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 07/12/2022 18:47

Oh just looked at what might be his Twitter profile. The person can't be messaged!

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 07/12/2022 18:53

@anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz
To be honest I wonder if this will be me in a similar position in a few years, personally I don't see how id have the chance, but I guess one can hope.

all the best op

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 07:52

If you were to tweet him, and I saw your update about that account being un-messageable you wouldn't be declaring your undying love to him it would be like, hi is this jack that went to X school?