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Original poster

I contacted an old flame...

38 replies

anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 06/12/2022 21:37

He's quite possibly my one that got away. We were at school together, we had a couple of dates in our early twenties that didn't really go anywhere as I was travelling and I guess we were both playing the field a bit. He messaged me about 6 years later saying that he'd been a fool not to pursue things with me. I messaged him back but as I was married at the time the emails ended there.

I've been divorced for 5 years now and have thought of him on and off ever since I last saw him but increasingly in the past few months. For various reasons I decided life was too short so I emailed him at the weekend asking him if he wanted to meet up and catch up. Made it clear that if he's with someone to just take it as some good vibes coming his way. Frustratingly he's not on any social media and I don't know anyone still in contact with him. If I knew he was with someone I wouldn't have contacted him.

No reply yet in fact his email address was about 20 years old so may be defunct. Anyway, I just had to tell someone else... am full of nostaliga and possibly rose- tinted spectacles but nothing ventured nothing gained...

Anyone ever done anything similar? If so, how did it work out?

OP posts:
Ivegotmyhappyfaceontodayles · 08/12/2022 09:51

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 07:52

If you were to tweet him, and I saw your update about that account being un-messageable you wouldn't be declaring your undying love to him it would be like, hi is this jack that went to X school?

Right somy my Twitter knowledge isn't that great. Just worked out how to do it so the whole world doesn't see it. Bam... Have tweeted him.😬Butterflies!

Ivegotmyhappyfaceontodayles · 08/12/2022 09:53

Bugger there goes my anonymous name change 🙄reminder not to send any important work emails today!

Gildedbrooks · 08/12/2022 10:12

I've had a couple of exe's send me stuff like this, one was my boyfriend from aged 17/18 - we're 51 now. He kissed someone else so I finished with him and he went out with someone else for 27 years (never married, no kids) he started messaging me on Facebook and I do message him back, with husbands knowledge to say hello but when he starts steering the chat towards nostalgia and sending me old photos of myself (I do look nice and thin to be fair haha) I just stop responding until he snaps out of it. If I was single I still wouldn't be back with him, life just moves on. I think it's easy to be wistful and want to be transported back to those younger carefree days and that person you were with is the paperclip that keeps all those memories together and sometimes it does work. Nothing wrong with a punt :)

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 10:20

Awww op I'm so happy for you I hope it is him and that he's been thinking about you all those years too! PLEASE keep us posted :) Good luck x

girlfriend44 · 08/12/2022 15:27

Georgeskitchen · 07/12/2022 15:26

I was ghosted in the 80s by someone I fell for quite heavily.
He just disappeared. No mobiles, social media back then obviously.
I found him on FB a few years back and after several glasses of wine I messaged him. After a few weeks and no response with the message showing unread, I unsent the message and blocked him 😆 in my sober state and without my rose tinted specs I remember that, actually, he was a bit of with dickhead 😉

If its unread he wont have seen it.

IF you arent friends with someone on FB then you dont necessarily see the messages. Maybe best to add friend as well.

JupiterFortified · 23/01/2023 23:32

@anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz did you get a reply?! X

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 03/04/2023 10:49

Hi thanks for the posts about this (sorry I missed yours @JupiterFortified ) I have a small thoguht uneventful update. He didn't reply to my email, or Twitter message (though if I understand the analytics correctly he's looked at my profile a few times). So I kind of stopped thinking about him. Then last week I was back in the town we grew up in. After about 25 years of not seeing him I think I walked past him in the high street! We glanced at eachother but it was fleeting as we were both talking to the people we were with and his person was a little girl he was holding hands with that I assume was his daughter. So it was a kind of closure for me in a way, presume he's settled down with someone and wish him well. It wasn't to be but nevermind!

OP posts:
Gooooo · 03/04/2023 10:55

Aww sorry to hear that. At least you know now and you gave it a try.

Aussiegirl123456 · 03/04/2023 22:05

anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 03/04/2023 10:49

Hi thanks for the posts about this (sorry I missed yours @JupiterFortified ) I have a small thoguht uneventful update. He didn't reply to my email, or Twitter message (though if I understand the analytics correctly he's looked at my profile a few times). So I kind of stopped thinking about him. Then last week I was back in the town we grew up in. After about 25 years of not seeing him I think I walked past him in the high street! We glanced at eachother but it was fleeting as we were both talking to the people we were with and his person was a little girl he was holding hands with that I assume was his daughter. So it was a kind of closure for me in a way, presume he's settled down with someone and wish him well. It wasn't to be but nevermind!

I’m still hankering for a love story!
I bet he hasn’t seen your messages and I’m imagining that little girl is a niece. In my head he saw you, will be thinking of you non stop and will be looking you up and messaging you soon. He won’t believe you tried to make contact until you show him the message you already sent. That’s when he will realise this is true love and you’ll get married and live happily ever after.

Cheers Disney for always making me think like this.

either way OP, what I do believe is what will be, will be.

MissingMoominMamma · 03/04/2023 22:08

YouTarzan · 07/12/2022 14:52

An email address practically from the millennium? To be honest I would assume that would be defunct.

I’ve never changed mine!

Melaniais · 03/04/2023 22:26

Wishing you it all ends up well like rekindled romance of Jennifer López and Ben Affleck Smile

Teenagefever · 03/04/2023 22:28

I recently contacted my first ever love from when I was 14. It has been 30 years since I last saw him, but I had never forgotten and often wondered about him.

I am in the very early stages of the breakdown of my 25 year marriage and was having a nostalgic evening, thinking about the past and where I went wrong. I had often looked at his profile on Facebook and he did try to contact me around 15 years ago, but my husband was very jealous and possessive, so I never replied.

4 weeks on, we have been chatting multiple times every day, and it as if the years have melted away and I feel like a giddy teenager again! He is also in the fairly early stages of a messy breakup too and also now lives in another country, so who knows, but at the moment it feels like destiny!

Original poster
anonzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 05/04/2023 10:10

Thanks all. @Aussiegirl123456 I love your vision of things and here's hoping but as you say, what will be will be. Be nice to have a dose of Jennifer Lopez about me @Melaniais !! @Teenagefever that's so lovely!!!! Hope it works out for you both xxx

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