Affairs are always a product of narcissism and codependency

[Ruth765]

Ok here is proof that MH’s affair with GC is a pure exercise in narc dynamic. He says: I've always known from novels that people will risk everything. They are ready to blow up their past, their present and their future. They will jeopardise everything they have worked for and everything that is solid and certain.’

Narcs are often embroiled in the thin divide between fantasy and reality and it just shows up his tremendous love for what it is. Fantasy. Oh and body language in his interview had an air of Elizabeth Holmes the weird psychopathic fraudster. Seriously worth an analysis by the experts.

I do not understand this post at all.

Blimey I think he's just a dynamic person to be around so women like him. He had been married a while, he fell for somebody new.
I'm not making any comment on whether he'll regret that in time or not but it was his life and tbh his xw seems like an extremely capable person so his dc will be more than alright. He wouldn't have got to be high up in govt if he didn't have that charisma that made his heiress other woman fancy him.

Not rocket science.

Nah... you've got too much time on your hands... thinking too much.

He's a human. He was married. He fell for someone else. Pretty shit the way he did it, but not a hanging offence or in need of a independent government enquiry. 😂

Matt Hancock? Why not say in the title? Some of us don't give a shit about the slimy little cheat.

Most narcissists have no qualms about cheating but not all cheaters are narcissists. Very simplistic and naive to think so.

Because Matt Hancock is the template for humanity and everyone who has an affair is the exact same as him down to the socks?

Weird post.

Gah, I am so fucking sick of hearing the word "narcissist" and "narc" thrown around with this pseudo-psychology bullshit alongside it, it sounds as credible as astrology.

(And yes, I'm sure some people are clinically diagnosable with a severe mental health condition, but for the vast majority of people, they're just selfish normal people.)

This. People hurt each other all the time. People cheat. It does not mean someone is a narcissist. I think many take comfort from being able to put a label on someone that has hurt them. It's easier to accept someone is a narcissist than accept they fell out of love, chose someone else, betrayed them.

You can be a cheat/selfish without actually being a narcissist.

I don’t think he’s a narcissist at all. Yes he had an affair, he is in love, doesn’t make him a narc

People who get completely identified with TV personalities and -so very, very cringe- diagnose them with serious mental disorders that they do not in the slightest understand, have definitely lost the line between fantasy and reality.

I work in the field, therefore can hand on heart say what a narc! His charisma is null. I could see past it. And body language is cringe. 😬

lmaoo, the lies. If you worked in the field you would know full well that diagnosing someone with a cluster B personality disorder takes time and thorough investigation.

oh, and it also requires you to actually meet them.

Hm, so let me think:

Waking his child up at 10 pm to tell him the child he’s leaving equals lack of empathy.

Lying to his wife and family equals lack of morality.

His little memoir seems to be me me me. lots of Is there for ya.

Aligning himself to books and romantic novels equals loss of touch with reality.

The psycho stare where he actually keeps eye contact for far too long without blinking, equals again inability to adjust to other people’s expressions.

Grabbing some booty while settles other people that they cannot see their loved ones at a funeral, equals entitlement.

no, I stand by what I said.

I agree that he has charisma for those stupid enough not to read other signs…love it ain’t. No amount of rebranding is ever going to reinvent a true narc.

If you were a professional you wouldn’t be diagnosing someone over media and internet.

Lmao an affair and cheating is not the definition of a narc.
Life has grey areas, he could have just fallen in love with someone else, as simple as that.

Yeah, so that isn’t nearly enough. Which you would know if you did indeed work in the field. Indeed, if you worked in the field you wouldn’t even think to speak with an authority (one you very obviously do not have) on someone you haven’t met, no matter how you perceive their public image.

Like I said, it requires meeting the person and rigorous investigation into their history. All of their history, back to childhood, as well as family history that predates them. You would also need to be experienced in the field of personality disorders in order to know what to look for. Oh, and you wouldn’t be referencing lazy and inaccurate tropes like ‘the psycho stare’, when prolonged eye contact is also associated with, for example, social anxieties and autism. It’s not one of the diagnostic criteria for NPD.

see, the funny thing about personality disorders - the symptoms are all traits found in those with normal psychologies. Narcissism is indeed something that the average person can exhibit, as is selfishness. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is something else entirely. It’s a collection of behaviours is characterised by the degree to which they are exhibited and their interactions with one another. That’s basic fucking knowledge.

Crikey you take things personally lady. I don’t know, I’m just noticing traits and you seem to be so offended. A narcissistic people easily offended? Is this phone perhaps a little mirror for you? Oops 🙊

Or maybe you had an affair I have noticed the streets in yourself and you don’t like me commenting on them. But it’s true, it is so very true that in order to seek after you have made an adult decision you actually have to pretty low self-esteem and be looking for affirmation other than actually carrying on with your life, looking after priorities in your life. The problem in either narcissistic or codependent on people is that they are self love deficient. That’s my basic statement here, that it’s due to this self love deficiency that they seek affirmation or indeed affairs post deciding to marry.

You know the point of a memoir? Me me me. Every memoir is me me me.

And no, all affairs aren't the product of narcism or codependency. Of course not.

Sure, when I hit flip image on the camera app. But given that it would made it a bit difficult to do that and read a thread at the same time, no, I’m not on this occasion.

And nope, never had an affair and I don’t have NPD. Similarly, Matt Hancocks penis is thankfully on the list of ‘things that have nothing to do with me’, so I don’t have a vested interest in that either. I do however have some basic as to what personality disorders are and how diagnosis is approached in a clinical setting, and felt like challenging a liar with some of that sweet, sweet Monday time on my hands.

Do you usually pathologize everything and everyone you dislike? Ever encountered, you know, a common or garden arsehole? Or is that too mundane?

Never knew you could diagnose a personality disorder from watching someone eat bums on the telly, but if you can you should tell the NHS because it will save them a fortune.

if you were in fact detailing facts when it comes to NPD then I wouldn’t have corrected you by…detailing facts about NPD. Not sure why you think I’d have a problem with something I explicitly did.

As others have said, it's quite possible that MH is nothing but an arsehole and maybe, despite all the evidence to the contrary, not even that. Diagnosing NPD is unhelpful. I used to work alongside two psychiatrists who hated each other. They used to have heated arguments about the prevalence of PD; one said it was hugely under diagnosed and the other said he had only met a handful who truly met the criteria in his entire working life.

it’s quite possible that MH is nothing but an arsehole

You are what you eat.

Gah, I am so fucking sick of hearing the word "narcissist" and "narc"

Not as sick as I am hearing about MH.