Am I a Wendy?

[KatherineClifton7]

Friend A has been friends with Friend B for years and recently invited us both to an event. We hit it off and have met a couple of times just us. Friend A doesn’t live near us.

Friend A has now sent me a tirade accusing me of meeting you with B without her, saying she would never do that to me and how hurt she is, and how I’m prioritising my new friendship. I sent a truly apologetic message back but now seeing red as she has doubled down and is still insulting me.

who is in the wrong here?

You are a tad of a Wendy maybe, but your friends reaction was clearly OTT. Plus, your new friend- who clearly can't ' read the room' despite knowing her for years, must of told her about your meets - unless you both said or posted on SM about it, which would show a certain naivety as to how friend A is. Friend B maybe should of known she was the type to react that way, and based on that either invited her too or kept schtum about the meets.

Why are people calling someone a Wendy? Is this another 'Karen' type terminology?
It needs to stop.

I think it originated from a thread here a few years ago. OP used the name Wendy in the scenario and it stuck.

I'm going to look it up. I'm sure it's from here 🤔

I can't find the original 'Wendy' thread. It looks like it may have been in chat, where posts, as most will remember, used to be deleted after a period of time:

SatsukiKusakabe · 30/12/2015 14:34
Yes I know it came about on mumsnet but think it stuck because that is exactly how the Wendy acted in the book.

The original wendy thread isn't on any more, must've been in chat.

I kinda agree with this. If you met up with B without asking if A would like to make it or letting A know, that is a Wendy move.

Friend B is 10 mins down the road from me and friend B is a couple of hours. It was last minute pub trips and a quick lunch once. We met on a group holiday and bonded after spending 6 days together

Friend A is bizarre and jealous

Have any of you made efforts to meet as a 3 since the holiday?

'Wendy' definitely originated here.

It’s from a Judy Bloom book, can’t remember which one.

Stop insulting all the nice Wendy's ! Very insulting

It would have been tactful to invite her

I would have invited A. Over time the other friendship might develop separately but to blow poor A off soon after you have met the new friend is thoughtless. It does not hurt to include people sometimes, even if you are very caught up in the new friendship.

A can’t come down for a one hour hasty meet up. Separately A is down in my home city a lot but doesn’t often let me know. I make an effort whenever I see them.

I think you were a bit thoughtless after such a short time knowing A. Surely for the first few months you would have invited both of them along. After all you wouldn’t have met and made a friend of B without A being generous enough to introduce you.

Does friend B know that friend A has kicked off? Did she also get an earful? I think it's very childish. Getting together with someone who is minutes away at short notice is very different to getting together with someone for whom some forward planning would be involved.

Invite far away friend to every single thing you leave the house for then she can see how ridiculous she is being.

how bizarre. I’d have no problem with this, I don’t own any of my friends.

According to an etiquette post I once read, if a friend introduces you to someone that you want to get to know yourself, the first time you want to invite the new friend to something you must also invite the introducing friend. After that you can invite the new friend without inviting the one who introduced you.

she is

I would generally be careful with making friends with friends of friends, I wouldn’t not do it, but I would do it slowly if I thought there might be hurt feelings. But she sounds cracked, so I would take the opportunity to withdraw from her as she seethes

I think she is completely unreasonable, extremely juvenile, and I wouldn't tolerate her invective for a minute.

If you had planned a trip away, she might indeed be entitled to feel hurt but last minute short meet ups, absolutely not.

I don't think I was ever 15, even when I was 15😂

This is so weird. Friend A doesn’t own either of you.

You made a new friend. That should be a lovely thing.

Interesting. I was reading through waiting to see if it was Wendy from Peter Pan (making Tinkerbell jealous)

The term Wendy came from an old thread on here where a woman named Wendy did this to a poster.

Glad others remember the original thread!

I don't think it's anything like the awful 'Karen' thing. And I've never heard 'wendied' anywhere other than Mumsnet.