Can we have a thread about how WE initiate sexual intercourse?

[lucyellensmum]

Of course, now ive asked the question, i cant think what to say.

DP falls asleep alot on the sofa, i just tend to climb on top of him (top or bottom end, dependant on my mood). It often works.

I send naughty (explicit and depraived) texts.

let's not and say we did .

i usually ring the number off teh back of the mag and go to the cash machine

Poke. Poke. Are you awake? Is he awake?

don pervy underwear

right you, kecks off! i want sex NOW!

I usually have to tell him to stop playing on the computer/wii/other electronic device as I need 'serviced'

Or if he's lying on the couch, just snuggle up and say 'put it in just a little bit' hee hee!

methinks this one might be a short thread

with many an answer along the lines of

initiate? why the hell would I wanna do that then?

Same as Morning Paper!

shave my legs and agent provocateur knickers although tbh he doesn't need a lot of persuasion

you could unload the dishwasher and wait for the pumping

lol apparently dh finds my talk of cervical mucus pre-sex most off-putting.

lilac, thats a good one

lilac, thats a good one

make eye contact

What? I'm supposed to inititate it too?

Do I have to. Can't I have a cup of tea instead?

I usually hide a condom somewhere I know he'll find it. I bought one of those durex 'ring' things the other day and wandered around with it poking jauntily out of my back pocket. DH was remained oblivious, so I asked him to scratch my bottom cheek. You'd think that would be an obvious hint that summat was up (why on earth would I want him to scratch my botty cheek??), but it took a good half hour of intermittent futile scrabbling before he finally stumbled upon the goods.

Sticking this on the stereo is more reliable.

I take a shower/bath then wander about rubbing in body lotion in the buff until he thinks it was his idea.

That, or I just grab his knob.

oh tonight I left David Seaman on the mantlepiece with his shorts around his knees, clearly shagging a cheery naked-but-be-winged Barbie. Perhaps this might be interpreted as a request for marital action?

MP you make me laugh and laugh.

same as him - drag the beanbag meaningfully into the living room

"I don't care, I'm tired too but I want another baby in the spring so get upstairs and get on with it. Quick as you like."

dead easy, go to bed with see through vest top, or...........

wear my biggest baggiest jammies and no undies, he likes playing lucky dip, never can resist.

I just slip my hands down his trousers, I'm not subtle.

I also give warning as well of my intentions for the evening by slipping my hand down his trousers in the car / on the bus etc

Told you I'm not subtle!