I think I found a mini vibrator in my car

[howdoIhandlethissituation]

Obviously name changed.

Context: late 40s, married 20 years, two dcs late teens still at home. Sexless marriage for 5 years. Before that very unsatisfactory. No intimacy.
No communication other than day-to-day running of the home and family.
I've checked out but so has he, long ago.
Basically I gave up trying (aka banging head against a brick wall), spent several years getting quite depressed, then went on antidepressants, hrt and had therapy.
Feel better about life in general and in myself, but still not brave enough to fall it a day on my marriage, for the usual reasons: fear of the unknown, upheaval for dcs, financial implications (not dire but scary all the same).

Today I found what I think is a mini vibrator in the compartment on the inside of the driver's door of our shared car. The dcs don't drive. Dh and I are the only ones who could have put it there and it wasn't me. I have never even seen one but it's metallic, pink, about 4 inches long, looks like a bullet and has an AAA battery. Nothing happens when I press the button but I can't think of anything else it could be.

As it was in the car I assume he's been using prostitutes.

So, how do I handle this?

My plan is to try a new battery tomorrow to confirm what it is.

Then check bank account for cash withdrawals.

Advice?

He could be gay.

Ah yes, because only homosexual males use vibrators on themselves

@fdgdfgdfgdfg 🤣 I think people would be very surprised.

I knew a girl, when I was in my teens, who was having an affair with a boy who had a girlfriend already.

She used to leave things in his car, like a Tampax, lipstick, etc.

I don't think it will be the husband who has left it there, but the other woman. And it won't be a prostitute because none of these men pay for a woman to get pleasure.

Very odd that you don't know the difference between a vape and a vibrator plus the fact that you've never seen a vibrator before 🤨 Unless you've lived under a rock most people know what one at least looks like even if they don't own one.

I doubt he is using it on a prostitute and I doubt he is having sex with the car parked outside your house. You can't be this naive.

If you don't want to try and attempt to save your marriage in a proactive manner with counselling etc and are just going about trying to decipher his every move then I think you need to step away from the marriage irrespective of his money.

Maybe he's using it on himself...

Yep. The other woman wants you to know about her.

I was thinking the very same thing 🤢

Do your teenagers drive? If they do, I think it's just as likely it's one of them who forgot it there.

I really don't care if this is a troll thread, i want it to carry on. i'm just loving it.
Although it's quite difficult to keep reading with the tears running down my face..............

@FettleOfKish -
And there's another one. I'm learning a lot of new words today....Elf Bar....Frenulum....and now 'banjo string'

Frankly people who are passionate / furtive enough to shag in cars don't need gadgets. The urgency and the setting generally lend themselves to quickies, not long leisurely bouts of pleasuring.

There's more to this than meets the eye.

😓❤️

Yeah but then we’ve had people apparently unable to work out how to post photos with detailed instructions and not knowing the difference between a bullet and a vape, so the level of general knowledge on this thread alone is quite patchy 😆

@RaRaRaspoutine Fair point, well made.

If no photo then we need a diagram - annotated.

Perhaps OP can't post a picture becausd she's "new"?

Of a frenulum?!

😂

You should try the magic wand/sports massager, lots more power

LOL, friend says "thanks"

www.amazon.co.uk/Rocks-Off-Touch-Velvet-Vibrator-Lilac/dp/B07B1GLS6V

It may sound 'fishy' but it is true.

You got it working then....

And grown men. I've had one for nearly six decades but I never knew it had a personal name.