I'm 33, he's 23. Am I mad?

[Cluelessat33]

I've met a 23 year old, who pursued my pretty keenly. I resisted at first because I considered him too young.

I've eventually given in. He seems pretty mature for his age. And I thought why not? Am I mad?

At 42 I met my now dh. He was 31. Been together 10 years. Married 7 and have a dc 8!!

Nope, not mad. You are actually just in that well know "half your age plus 7" ratio, (which I don't necessarily think always works). You have thought about it, considered it and you are both adults so you have decided to go for it. Enjoy it!

not mad, and it could work out great for you. I’d caveat that if you want children, if he doesn’t ant them till he’s say 30, which is a common approach, it may never happen for you.

I love your 'my pretty' typo 😁

Just enjoy it, might lead to something, might not.

I think it's fine for a fling but not long term. Most 23 year olds are lacking life experience, particularly because of Covid and you'll be at very different points in your life. If it was the same age gap but at 43 and 33 I'd say it was fine.

Nope not mad. I met my DP when he was 28 and I was 40. Still together some 26 yrs later.

The only reservation I'd have is that he is young - not so much in relation to you but in terms of his own life experience.

Who cares?.enjoy the moment and see where it takes you, if anywhere 😉

9 yes between me and DH, he was 34...now married with kids, happily, mostly, life pressures take their toll but not because of age.

I got together with my DH when he had just turned 23 and I was 28. Obviously we had a smaller age gap but it has worked out long term. We've been together 20 years now and are married with 2 kids. I started off thinking it would be a bit of fun because he was too young to settle down but it became serious. One thing to consider is - children were a big issue for us. He wasn't ready until he was 30 and by then I was 35 so I was getting stressed! It's something we almost split up over. This could be more of an issue for you given the age gap. However, maybe you're not thinking of kids yet and just want to see what happens. It's just something to consider as it might become an issue further down the line.

For some fun definitely go for it. Long term I personally wouldn't but do what makes you happy.

I was 35 and he was 25. Been together 10 years, married with 1 DC. He was pretty mature and, quite frankly, I was pretty immature. Go for it.

Dh was 22 and living on his mums sofa having dropped out of uni when I met him. I was 33 and divorced with a 5 year old. We’ve been together 15 years now, married with a 10 year old dc. Very happy. I think people get funny about age gaps when it’s the woman that’s older but there’s no reason it can’t work. The dc issue is perhaps the only thing, does he want dc, do you…? Etc. But otherwise crack on!

DH is four years younger than me, but I think ten years is too much. Obviously there will be examples of it having worked for others, but if you want children then I think it is a big risk at your age and you could end up wasting your fertile years because he isn’t ready.

My closest friends have the same age gap, met at the same age too, been together 18 years. At the very least there’s nothing wrong with giving him a chance.

I would question what you could possibly find that attractive in a 23 year old, other than looks. His brain isn't even fully cooked yet and there's a whole lot of life experience and growing up that takes place in the decade that separates 23 and 33.

I'm 31 and I just couldn't take a 23 year old seriously. They still feel like teenagers to me. Feels a little icky.

7 years between me and DH. Happily been together for 15 years. Age is just a number long as he's mature.

Like Dmsandfloatydress

I was 35 and he was 25. I turned him down initially as I thought he was way too young. We have DS3 and DS3m and the only time the age gap is noticed is if I ask him "do you remember xyz..." and he replies with "no I was 6/7/8" 🙈

I think it works for some but not all. It very much depends on the individuals. Just go in with no major preconceived expectations and see what happens.

At 33 I had a few flings with much younger men. At 37, the youngest was 22 (a nutcase, but that's by-the-by)
It was perfect for my raging sex drive at that time. 😉

I would say take it for what it is day by day, but don't expect many long night chats about common interests or reminiscing because he will be too young to remember

You will turn into his mum. I give it 3 months before you are telling him to stop leaving wet towels on the floor. Good luck.

If he was 18 I'd find it weird. 23? Nah, go for it. At that age I'd been living independently and working for 7 years, I don't see much difference in my maturity levels now at 38 ha.

I know people say that men mature later than women but I've known plenty at that age who were completely independent, interesting, intelligent and mature people.

I wouldn't because being surrounded by young men that age I just feel they are too immature,even the ones that seem mature act like they are toddlers sometimes. The other point is that you have to be at the same stage of life, so if he still wants to be off doing things that you find immature it will be boring for you.

There are some pretty sweeping statements on this thread! Yes he might be too immature, he might not want kids until later, he might be looking for a mother figure...but then again he might not. It's important that you're aware of these potential pitfalls but I wouldn't chuck him back just on the basis of his age, if you like each other explore it further and see how it goes.

Yea mad. He will get bored sooner or later but as long as you are prepared for that then that's fine.

I met my OH when he was 24 & I was 34 still together nearly 7 years later.

He was more mature & intelligent than any older men I'd previously dated.

Well so far, nearly everyone has said to go for it! It looks like I was the first person not to say that and even I said “there is a risk of…”. So I don’t see what sweeping statements you are seeing.