How long will it take a guy to reach out after a breakup

[KiraChris]

Hi, my ex partner and me haven't spoken for just over 3 months. He has watched my WhatsApp stories etc soon as I put them on. He had blocked and unblocked me about 3 weeks ago. The first 4 to 7 weeks I heard nothing at all I wasn't putting stories up then.

Now he's had me solid blocked for 2 weeks no unblocking at all. We haven't actually spoken since beginning of September.

I am totally heartbroken but without sounding childish I can't reach out first as I have before and I need to see if he cares enough to not just talk becuase I message first.

How long does it take for a guy to miss you? And generally how long will it be before guys reach out and message you? Weeks? 2 months? 4 months? I know you can't give an exact time frame but generally or roughly?

He has never blocked me before.

You're not a couple. 'Reaching out' generally isn't a thing after a split.

And why are you so obsessively monitoring if he's monitoring you? How utterly exhausting.

He’s an ex. Move on.

He may have moved on after 3 months. How old are you both?

Move on Kira, if Chris wanted to talk to you, he would have done.

Don't waste your time. Let go.

he might never. I’m sorry.

Mid 30s. And I know people will say just move on he's an ex. But it just ended so drastically, we have been through so much together. He said he loved me so much and wouldn't want anyone else in the world. 3 weeks later we had a row and didn't speak again.. I know he loved me. I thought he would havw contacted me by now? I helped him through so much personal problems he had, I never ditched him when he was depressed etc. I feel so heartbroken

If he was interested and wanted to talk to you he’d have got in touch after a few days once he’d cooled off, if he’s been silent for over 2 months he doesn’t want you back. At best ma6be in another few months he’ll be so desperate for sex he’ll get in contact so you hook up before he goes cold and silent again.

You have no choice but to move on if he has blocked you. To be honest you would be better blocking him and deleting his number.

Yeah but I have wanted to speak to him everyday and have cried so much, but I haven't reached out either. But it's not because I don't want to speak to him

He has split up with you. You cry but you move on. Stop monitoring what he’s doing.

Time to move on and forget about him, he would have spoken to you after a couple of days if he wanted to be back with you.

@KiraChris

Take it one day at a time and it will get easier.

Once you do get over it or feel better don't let him back in your life. It's raw now but once you do move on and be happy again he may reach out just ignoring him is best.

You’re playing games with him. If you wanted to rekindle things after the argument you should have done so within a few days. It’s been 3 months now! You need to move on, do you really think he hasn’t been seeing other women in this time and has been sat at home crying? Block him and move on.

You have to leave it. He hasn’t got in touch with you for a reason. He doesn’t love you. Sorry, it’s hard to hear but you have helped him and as soon as you disagreed with him over something, he has ditched you. What would you do if he rang you tonight? Let him back to treat you badly again. Have boundaries. Have rules that boyfriends need to treat you well to be a part of your life.
Stop obsessing over him. You deserve more and will meet someone new. Get over this tosspot so you are ready for a new relationship.

If he loved you enough he would be fighting to make it work, he doesn't want to. Why would you want a guy back that doesn't whole heartily want you. Some reach out, others don't. I have an ex that reaches out every 4-6 months, not with good intentions, I now delete without reading because I know I'm worth more than waiting around for a man to love me after months of no contact.

If he loved you then why would he ditch you after one argument? Unless it was a pretty drastic argument! Either it was already over for him before the argument or he actually was not that into you in the first place.

The only reason I would expect him to reach out now would be if he was a giant mindfucker who only dumped you out of the blue in order to test to see if you would happily take him back.

He doesn't owe you a relationship just because you helped him through tough times. And if you stayed and tolerated a bunch of shit only for him to turn round and dump you then - wake the fuck up and smell the coffee! He's a user.

Block him and move on with your life.

He’s probably not ever going to message you

if you want to talk to him then message him! Otherwise just move on.

It took my ex 8 weeks to reach out.

Said he’s been so miserable without me, his life went downhill, he’d been staying with a family member because he couldn’t bear to be in his house with all the memories of me. Crying down the phone and on FaceTime, big bunches of flowers when we started speaking again.

He’d been shagging someone else for the whole 8 weeks.

Move on x

Stop posting stories to seek his validation for starters. Make your stories private, that way you aren't performing for him. He knows your posting them for him to watch.

Not reaching out because you want him to reach out to prove he cares is just mind games, more for yourself. Be genuine and try to move on without manipulation tactics.
Why was the relationship not working?
Did you love him more than he loved you?
Did you do all the chasing and make all the effort or was it a good, equal relationship?

If there is any mismatch on those fronts then you really need to move on but you will stay stuck if you are just sitting and waiting on him reaching out.
Focus on yourself and put all that wasted energy into you.

If he was the right guy @KiraChris , he wouldn't be doing all this blocking and unblocking etc. Blocking is a rejection. He's not caring about your feelings and he's not consistently keeping in touch with you- in fact he's often deliberately blocking that.

Get a grip and some self respect. If he wanted you, he'd still be with you. If he wanted to talk to you he'd be talking to you.

He's moved on, and sure as hell hasn't spent the past 3 months celibate.

You need to let go. Block him and move on with your life.

I realise you desperately want him back, but obsessing after an ex for months after a break-up like this is massively unhealthy and is screwing your mental health. You need to start to consider what a happy life might look like without him, and then pursue that life.... the sooner you do that, the sooner you'll feel better, because frankly, he's very unlikely to "reach out" after all this time.

To answer your question: "how long does it take someone to miss you?".... well, in my experience, forever... I've never yet seen an instance of a couple who split and didn't talk for three months ever getting back together in all my 46 years, so don't hold your breath!