MH GC affair makes my blood boil

[Jenny3412]

Honestly, ‘I’m a Celebrity’ sleaze MH Claiming that he fell in love with GC and that made him leave his family makes my blood boil. How can you leave a family you chose to create? Apparently he woke up his then 8 year old son at 10pm at night to let him know that he was leaving. What sort of psychopath would do that? Absolute lack of empathy. It’s like this is happening to me and it’s ever so important because I have needs, what about the needs of his children. What an idiot.

Exactly!

As @5128gap says, in my mind it just adds an extra layer of torment.

Bedsit, woman I haven't even had a chance to know yet... It may be a gamble but anything is better than staying with you, so tata.

I can't see how that's a better ending.

They also denied an affair saying it was just a snog. Nobody will know the truth other than him and Katya Jones of course but it's not the same as what Matt Hancock did.

I'm nearly as old as him and I can't believe it. He looks like my Uncle Percy and he's 70 next birthday.

You are spot on. Healthy people with a good sense of self don’t have the need to act in ways that endanger their choices. People with low self esteem or self love deficient people, including narcissists and codependents fall in the affair trap. Most, once they realise they have actually duped themselves want back to their home and marriage. The above is all based on a scenario whereby the marriage is not an abusive one. But even in an abusive marriage one should extract themselves instead of affairing and falling into the same personality trap, as they are bound to subconsciously attract an identical partner each time. It’s working out one’s need for affirmation that is the route to healing.

👍

Do you have the same anger for BG and him chaining someone to a radiator and beating them? Or SC and her drunk driving offence?

Its all awful behaviour including that of MH, but why have you singled him out?

This is priceless. 👌

@Isthisexpected you need to speak louder for those who are hard of hearing at the back. Just pick up a book on infidelity and you'll find the 'failed marriage' narrative has been debunked. Not saying it's not true in 'some' cases but most certainly not all.

''Bedsit, woman I haven't even had a chance to know yet... It may be a gamble but anything is better than staying with you, so tata.

I can't see how that's a better ending.*''
*
And this just doesn't happen. Men try out before they buy. But if this DID happen I can tell you that it would have reduced the trauma in several ways.

1. sexual consent by the betrayed spouse would not have been robbed from them
2. their sexual health would not have been put at risk
3. their right to personal agency would not have been stolen, their right to make life altering decisions with full disclosure
4. the person that they trusted to hold them safe and shield them from the worst would have at least made an honest move

I could go on.

Affair trauma is real. I honestly think posters who don't understand it believe it's around abandonment by the betrayed's 'prize of a husband' and the anger that another woman 'got him'.

I'm sure that can be one facet but it's far more complex than that. It's the lens in which you viewed your safe world being shattered. It's the feeling that the person you loved would put you in direct harm. That's why so many betrayed spouses need therapy to deal with PTSD style symptoms.

It's hell.

Recovery takes 2-5 years. MH's wife will still be desperately trying to heal. She shouldn't have had to deal with his publicity stunt. Their children shouldn't have had to deal with it.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain No, I just despise Hancock and the way he seems determined to rub his family's nose in his affair. I mean, I heartily despised and disliked Hancock before, just more now.

And why does disliking him mean that I have to dislike everyone who has or has had an affair?

Are you the OP with a name change? Because your reasons for hating him appear to be based on him having an affair and upsetting his children. So it's reasonable to assume that you hare everyone who has had an affair and upset their kids.

@Crazypaving22 you are a legend, what a quote: ‘Affair trauma is real. I honestly think posters who don't understand it believe it's around abandonment by the betrayed's 'prize of a husband' and the anger that another woman 'got him'.’

You are so right about this, spot on.

MH and his grope GC are living out their dirty dreams based on cheating on other people and destroying their children’s Crystal Palace view of the world. Their so called love is just cheap sexual alchemy which gets tainted when they have to spend time with not 3 but 6 little ones on weekends. Their love is dirty because it was borne out of lying and cheating, therefore it is narcissistic in nature. Whatever such dynamic is being played out here is the one that destroys many families. So no grudge but just putting it out there that this behaviour is nothing short of psychopathic.

No hate whatsoever but nothing in this planet would make me take my pants off for some cheap thrills. It’s called boundaries, self respect, self love and ultimately being a healthy person happy with their choices and promoting positivity into the world rather than healing a sick ego through some affair.

So yeah, I guess I am calling an affair for what it is, an ego trip. And those are only self serving at best, and quite often not even that, they can run you into the gutter as you screw up your life.

You never know - not even if you know people well - what goes on in someone else’s marriage. And I think it’s very hard to know what you’d do in a position where you genuinely did fall hook, line and sinker for someone else. Love is a bit irrational by definition (I think so, anyway). Flaunting the fact on national TV is, I agree, a different kettle of fish and one would’ve hoped he’d have a bit more respect for everyone involved (himself included) than that.

The time to fall for someone hook line and sinker is before kids. Even if a marriage one is in is abusive - finish it - then you are free to choose and have as much fun as you like. Exposing one’s spouse to the gross std sharing is vile. But I guess it takes out all the intrigue of being naughty between the sheets. And instead of being a successful individual it degrades the cheating spouse to what they are, unsuccessful in marriage and divorced with kids. Not such a catch then.

The time to fall for someone hook line and sinker is before kids.

Of course - in an ideal world. Look - I’m not a fan of Hancock, but I think his marriage is his business. And it’s hard to judge from the outside when you’re talking about any relationship. In my experience (and I accept I could be being naive here!) genuinely happy people don’t cheat.

What's worse than him gaslighting his wife and family is how he lied to the country about keeping your distance whilst he's balls deep somewhere else.

Yes he likes Gina Colada
And getting caught by the paps
But you can't do what you want to
Gotta be obedient chaps
You've all got to stay apart
Can't even meet for a vape
And he's lied to us and to Martha
Only cares about escape

👏