How much older would you date?

[Thighlengthboots]

Just curious what people think of this. I'm 45 and have been asked out by a man who is 62. He is fit, gorgeous, charming, kind, and very emotionally intelligent. I am very attracted to him but the age gap concerns me a bit. If this were to develop into something serious the age gap might be fine now but when I'm 55 he'll be 72 which concerns me. I have a high sex drive and sex is important to me- I'm not sure what 72 year men are like in that regard. Not being shallow- I know there is way more to a relationship than just sex that but it still matters to me. What would you do?

He sounds lovely but please can you leave him in the pool for a woman nearer his age😉? I am feeling grumpy about the way women in their 50s and 60s are left with only the 70-80 year old men as they ones their own age are all after someone 20 years younger.
If we all boycotted older men we’d have a much better time of it overall

But I have no guarantee that if I said no to him, he'd be dating another 60 year old instead of me do I? I have zero control over what he chooses to do when I turn him down. Why should I miss out on a potentially great opportunity on the basis of what he might or might not choose to do after I say no?

I'm 5'10", it was sometimes hard for me to find men significantly taller than me to date but I didnt ask all short/petite women to stop dating tall guys because it wasnt fair on taller girls 🙄

That's a very good question. If I was attracted to him then yes that would be a good start, a very good start indeed!

If your ages were reversed do you think he’d give you a chance ?

Hey, I’m in a very happy year 6 (7 in May) of dating a fabulous chap who’s 14 years older than me. We met at an event I was volunteering at and I asked him out and glad I took the step. Plenty of sexy times etc.

Also peri menopausal and 5’11” so hope for everyone.

I’ve dated folks of my age and much younger and every where in-between. I don’t have a type - just want someone that can communicate and have a sense of humour. I got it. :)

I do worry about the future but I’d have various worries with anyone.

what’s the worst that can happen if you give things a go? You may have many years of happiness?

Why would women in our age group want men who want much younger women . Although I’m not in the dating scene , if I were I would want to date men who were interested in dating their peers .

I wouldn’t. Not that men that age aren’t attractive but I don’t see how you can relate to each totter properly when you’re on such different phases of life. I’m nothing like I was 15 years ago. If I dated a man that much younger than me we wouldn’t align.
My Dh is 5 years older and that’s enough.

why not just have a nice time with him and enjoy it for whatever it will be. Ultimately no one can say whether it will work or not and it would take years to really know. If it feels right at this moment then that’s good enough.

When I was younger, a 25 year age gap was fine to me.
Now that I'm in my 30s, I'd probably cut off at around 15 years.
DH is 9 years older than me and I quite like that age gap.

I'm nearly 50 but i agree with a pp that a 62 year old would feel almost like a different generation. As the age gets closer to that of my dad than to mine, it would not be remotely attractive to me.

I am 50. And a 67yo at my age is really not someone I can imagine being attracted to.
In fact - many divorced 50yo women around me comment on how quickly men’s performance decreases after 55+.
So, at 45 - no way would I limit my life to dating a much older man.
Life is too short.

I'm 45 and recently turned down a 62 year old on OLD @Thighlengthboots .
I've dated with an age gap in the past and don't want it again.

This is because (and this is a generalization of course) older men are less physically attractive and will become even less so, plus there's more of a risk of their sexual functioning being poor or potentially quickly becoming poor. I want to make the most of what's left of my time when it comes to sex (after marriage of course.)

So I'm only going upto 50 really and down to about 38.

I had no particular desire or expectations to date someone with a big age gap but ended up dating up someone who was 18 years older than me. I initially thought he was around 10 years older. Honestly it has been great. He is in his mid to late sixties but we still have sex on average multiple times a week on average and far better than previous younger partners. We’re far more compatible than others I’ve dated from same age or up to 10 years younger. Yes there is probably going to come a point where the age gap becomes a problem but you have to weigh up is it worse to face the issue that they’re less able to do stuff together or need more care for a time or you’re alone or with an arsehole for the same amount of time. It’s a gamble as you don’t know what you’re going to face but that applies equally to everything!

I’ve just came out of a relationship, (been dumped) I’m 32 and she was 56, she was fit and good for her age and I had no problem with it, it was only for four months but honestly I would date someone that age again or older, it’s not that I’m attracted to older women but I was to her and if I am to another then I will again with no hesitation, age is just a number. Maybe long term there might be an issue as I did keep thinking about her retiring and I will still be a good two decades behind but if you really like the person then age is irrelevant in the short term and see what happens; even if your similar ages it doesn’t always work.

I have no idea but his former wife (now deceased) was almost his exact age so I don’t see him as a guy who only dates much younger women or makes a point of it. I know plenty of men that age who are dating women near their own age so unless this is a weird pattern for him it’s not a huge red flag to me 🤷‍♀️

Thanks so much everyone for your input, it’s been really helpful to hear all opinions and experiences both negative and positive. I still haven’t decided but I might at least go on a few dates with him and see what happens. We might not even be compatible anyway so in which case it’s irrelevant ❤️

I hope the dating goes well.

I'm 52 and probably wouldn't date anyone younger than 43 or older than 55. I very rarely see/meet attractive men my age. By attractive I mean average looking, kind, honest and funny.