ExH has cancelled mortgage direct debit

[WhatsTheStoryThisTime]

Going through a divorce and still have a joint bills bank account with ExH until we are sorted. The bank account is literally just joint mortgages / life insurances / home insurances.
I have had an alert on my phone to notify of a cancellation to one of our mortgage payments and rang the bank who confirmed this.
We are no contact due to his controlling and manipulative behaviour. I will ring the mortgage company and solicitor tomorrow but I really can’t afford to cover the mortgage costs if he has no intention of paying anything.
Im sure he knows I’m sat at home on a weekend stressing over this. Any advice?

Have you started divorce proceedings?

Oh dear. My exH refused to pay his share of the mortgage, foe a house he wasn't living in. So if I pushed it, he would have just moved in.

What's your situation OP? Kids, working etc. Have you engaged solicitors? If not then get onto them ASAP.

Call the mortgage company and explain the situation, you may well get a payment holiday from them to help you until you've sorted out more long term plans.

Can you ask for a payment hoilday until the divorce is finalised?

OP this sounds really stressful and worse because you can't do anything about it over the weekend. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to acknowledge how rubbish this is - it's just another way of him exerting control over you. Sending best wishes.

I have a solicitor and have just paid for a financial court order as he is not engaging in the process sadly.
This is just one of many ways to exert control. Finances are all he has left to do this now.
would a payment holiday be an option during divorce? Has anyone done this before?

I think they’d allow you a payment holiday in these circumstances, I would also speak to your solicitor about your options.

I think it's worth ringing your mortgage provider. You'll need a holiday if it's possible, and if you can't afford it you'll have to sell, which takes time.

They might let you just pay the interest or something instead? I’m sure this is something they encounter a lot.

Has he moved out of the home? If you can’t afford it alone, I would try to get a mortgage holiday and get the house up for sale asap.

I had the same with my ex but it was genuine hardship as he couldn't pay the mortgage and his rent. He offered to move back in but no thanks. I put the flat up for sale and sold it to a cash buyer quickly. Mortgage company were fine with it but we had big equity so could have took a year for all they cared.

What an arsehole.

Hoping he isn't self employed with 2 sets of accounts. Can you apply for child maintenance?
Would that help bridge the gap.

If you're low income, you could claim for universal credit.

I wouldn't automatically jump to sell without exploring the above.

Solicitor advice asap...don't make any rash decisions because you're reeling from this incidence.

Don't communicate with him
Contact your mortgage provider and see about a payment holiday or interest only

Do you have children? If so make the application for child maintenance

Check if you are entitled to any benefits

This is definitely not due to financial hardship.
it is another form of control unfortunately. The fact he is doing this from a sun lounger on holiday speaks volumes.
im hoping a payment holiday will be the way to go u til the divorce is rectified. Thank you for all of your comments and advice on this.

Can you pay it from that account manually, if there's the money in there?

My ex started taking money out of our joint account that was for bills only so I went to the bank and they very helpfully closed down his access to the account. It might be worth speaking to your bank?

Ultimately I had a few very lean years where I often skipped meals to pay for childcare, mortgage and kids. But it was worth it to be free of him!!

@roarfeckingroarr yes that’s another option, it would take us into overdraft but would buy me a month of time x

What’s his end game? How much equity is in the house? If it gets repossessed then you’re both getting nothing from it

Your solicitor should sort it. He will probably have to prove that he can't pay ...he if can't do that then he will be made to stump up. Solicitors are used to this kind of behavior and will have the necessary experience to deal with it.

So - he has stopped the money leaving the account to go to the mortgage company, AND he has stopped putting any money into the account to cover any bills?
Do you have kids? Is he paying maintenance?

He's clearly going to play dirty with the money. Unfortunately, it looks like you'll have to tread a fine line between standing up for yourself and not aggravating him

My ex did this. Cancelled all direct debits. There were a lot that he was contributing to whilst together and he just stopped.

I prioritised the mortgage but ended up with CCJ's and a 26 year debt management plan. All just against me not him. I survived due to the covid 2x 6 month mortgage holidays but im 18 months into the financial order he is doing everything he can not to engage with.

I dont qualify for legal aid due to the equity in the home, despite domestic violence. So i have had a horrendous legal bill that is already £11k with another set of barrister fees on top.

Tell your mortgage company whats happening. Speak to step change and work as much overtime/ cut back as you can. Sell everything you dont really need. Thats what I did. Its the absolute pits.

He also took the family car with no recourse. He also got the balance of gas/elec moved from the family home to his new property so despite my paying the direct debits we were hit with a quarterly bill and they wouldn't discuss the other account I'D paid into because he took my name off it, unbelievable. Mans world.

Was it agreed that he would still pay the mortgage?

I can’t see why he’s still pay if he’s not living there.

I would make sure that your income is going in to your account and then claim CMS which will hopefully cover a chunk of the bills.

I would speak to the mortgage company and just ask their advice.
A payment holiday sounds like a good idea but I’d find out if this has any repercussions before doing it.

Well his credit score is going to be well and truly fucked for one thing!

Ring the mortgage company and tell them about the marital split and that you are vulnerable due to financial abuse.

This is all making me really ill 😢
I understand why women are stuck in abusive marriages. I couldn’t cope with his behaviour anymore and he is just going to control and abuse me to the bitter end.
I have our two children to home. Absolutely unbelievable. Only plus side is I’ve lost a shit ton of weight.

Ring to mortgage company but be realistic if u can’t afford mortgage on your own be prepared to sell