Hi looking for perspective here!!
Met my partner at work following a divorce. At the time I was struggling to get a mortgage large enough to keep my house & he very kindly offered to come on to the mortgage to help me out. He wrote a very generous legal agreement protecting my equity in the property.
When we met I was attracted to his intellect, his ambition and his worldview. I found him attractive too if course.
Fast forward 4 years and I’m really struggling. He still works in a high powered role but now100% from home. He never leaves the house. Has no friends. Drinks a lot every night. His only social engagements are work drinks- and it’s rare he’ll do that. He never, ever brushes his teeth and he really smells at night and in the morning in particular. He has generally low standards of hygiene, dirty food-stained clothes. He smokes SO much it’s unreal. He doesn’t clean. He does however cook a lot - but he always cooks massive meals that are really unhealthy and then leaves everything dirty so I have to clean it. I do all other housework too - unless I’m annoyed then he’ll do some.
he is a very kind and generous person (as helping me with getting a mortgage demonstrates). But when he’s not working he’s a big like a shell, scrolling Facebook or playing Call of Duty.
he’ll do anything I ask - but would never take the initiative to do something himself - like anything. I guess he doesn’t bring much of himself into our relationship - in fact I’m not sure if there is any “himself”…. It’s like there’s a work persona, then outside work there’s a shell that can do people pleasing / servitude if needed.
He is brilliant to talk to and if I ever have a problem he has amazing advice and he’s super loyal.
am I wrong to be reconsidering this relations?