AIBU to expect him to pick me up for his bday?

[pizzaiseverything]

It’s my bf’s bday tomorrow ( I live in Oxford he lives in London) but I’m stuck in Oxford because of the train strikes and I can't get to London. Unfortunately the buses are overcrowded and I don't have a car. So I can’t get there before tomorrow.
AIBU to expect him to come to pick me up?
I've ordered this wonderful cake and his family is coming, I know it's just a bday but he is only an hour away :(
He said how sad it is I won't make it but hasn't offered to come get me

Yeh that's a bit shit of him not to make an hour's drive of effort for you. Eat the cake!

He doesn't seem too into you, honestly.

I think you should get the bus . It’s his birthday - he shouldn’t be the one making the effort

Get the overcrowded bus! It’s his birthday, not yours.

He’s clearly not that bothered if you’re there or not. Hopefully the cake you’ve ordered is chocolate and it’s coming to your house and not straight to his? 😋

Get the bus or the Oxford tube - it’s his birthday

Get the bus.

You don't sound that into him if an overcrowded bus puts you off.

Or you could rent a car if you have a licence but just don't own a car

Expect him to make a two hour minimum round trip on his birthday? Nope, I wouldn't even consider it. Especially if he has plans with family and friends already.

If you absolutely can't get a bus because they've been fully booked by people who have planned ahead, then just make the most of tomorrow.

You can get there tomorrow though? So you can arrive on his birthday? I wouldn't fancy doing a two hour + drive the evening before my birthday if you could hop on a train tomorrow!

It's not 'only an hour away' though is it - it's at least an hour each way. So if he comes to pick you up, drives you back to London, then later has to do the return journey. So that's a good 4 hours out of his day, could be more like 6 depending on where in London and what traffic conditions are like. And on top of that it sounds like he has family visiting/he's entertaining them. So yes, it's a bit of a tall ask expecting him to chauffeur you around on his birthday.

Expecting him to drive 2 hours, possibly longer as the M40 is probably busy today to save you an hour on a crowded bus seems unfair on his birthday to me.

Why can't you get a bus? Surely they won't all be completely full on a Sunday. You can get a national express for £35.

I wouldn't expect him to do a 3hr round trip on his birthday.

It's a two hour trip on a motorway, not a journey to the centre of the earth!

I think it's unlikely it's actually an hour - even if he is on the right side of London and you're on the right side of Oxford, it's more like 1 hr 20 and London traffic esp on a train strike day would likely make it more, potentially considerably more

So you’d do a two hour plus journey after working all day (as most folk don’t take annual leave on their birthdays) and whilst hosting your family?
for another adult who wasn’t organised enough to book ahead?

Busses being overcrowded isn’t a reason you can’t get there.

It would be at least double an hour trip for him to get there and back, and an hour journey time is a pretty conservative estimate for Oxford to London.

If his family are coming maybe he has things to sort out before they arrive.

An hour sounds light to get from london to Oxford. Either way its only an hour but wouldnt that be 4 hours going to collect you and taking you back by the time he has done 2 round trips? Probably increased to 6 to account for weekend traffic. If he is seeing family how would he fit that in? I'd rather spend my birthday on my own than do shitload of driving to be honest

Get the bus.

I wouldn’t want to do that on my birthday. It’s not just driving to pick you up because he won’t be able to drink for you to be driven home (if it’s the same day)

nah

Just get the bus…

Everyone saying get the bus but I wouldn't fancy getting on an overcrowded bus whilst carrying a fancy birthday cake.

I don't think it's a reasonable expectation that he should collect you though - it's not exactly a short drive. You should have planned ahead rather than assuming he was going to be your taxi. Its not fair that HIS birthday should be taken over with your admin; especially if his family is there.

Traffic is so bad at the moment, it will be much longer than an hour from London to Oxford. Then he’s got to do the return journey. You can definitely get public transport, or you could have left before as the strikes were publicised. I think it’s a mean to make him drive all that way on his birthday when he’s having a party. Will he have to drive you back too?

But it's HIS birthday, not yours! Just make some effort and go and visit him.

Is it a big birthday OP?