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Original poster

AIBU to expect him to pick me up for his bday?

51 replies

pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 16:41

It’s my bf’s bday tomorrow ( I live in Oxford he lives in London) but I’m stuck in Oxford because of the train strikes and I can't get to London. Unfortunately the buses are overcrowded and I don't have a car. So I can’t get there before tomorrow.
AIBU to expect him to come to pick me up?
I've ordered this wonderful cake and his family is coming, I know it's just a bday but he is only an hour away :(
He said how sad it is I won't make it but hasn't offered to come get me

OP posts:
Skipsaway · 26/11/2022 17:27

His birthday, you put the effort in.
Your birthday, he puts the effort in.

He would be giving up 4 hours+ of his birthday to collect you. It's not him bring selfish

NoDatingForOldMen · 26/11/2022 17:27

Hbh17 · 26/11/2022 17:24

But it's HIS birthday, not yours! Just make some effort and go and visit him.

This ^^

MarshaMelrose · 26/11/2022 17:28

Maybe he's already started his birthday celebrations early and he can't drive.
This is why I'd never date someone without a car and who can't drive. Because I'd be the one who's expected to do the shuttling around.

PeeJayDay · 26/11/2022 17:30

Ffs, there's a train strike on.

Is it an hour because Google maps is showing 1 how 47 for a journey that's usually an hour in that area? So it'll be a 4 hour round trip by the time you've got sorted. Just get the bus

pictish · 26/11/2022 17:33

Don’t understand the ‘bus is crowded’ thing. Yes it’s crowded. And?

Original poster
pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:35

Yeah...I didn’t specify I didn't manage to get of the bus today because they were too full due to strikes the queues were endless and this usually is never the case
:( so I’m afraid it will be the same tomorrow given that many didnt leave today (although no strikes)
I appreciate it would take longer than an hour for him to come so I hope I make it
Thanks for the comments ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:36

PinkSyCo · 26/11/2022 17:25

Is it a big birthday OP?

No only me his mom and sister a small gathering

OP posts:
chikp · 26/11/2022 17:37

Have you asked him?

goadyolddough · 26/11/2022 17:38

But if he has to come and collect you then it's two hours drive (one hour each way). If he then has to take you back it's obviously four hours of driving for him.

lamaze1 · 26/11/2022 17:39

Yabu. It's his birthday it isn't really for him to do the running when it is within your ability to get there even if you don't want to particularly use that mode of transport.

Also unless you're on the outskirts of Oxford and he lives somewhere like uxbridge (i do the trip from Oxford to central London frequently) then it is longer than an hour each way, and that's before factoring increased traffic due to train strikes in.

butterfliedtwo · 26/11/2022 17:40

Hbh17 · 26/11/2022 17:24

But it's HIS birthday, not yours! Just make some effort and go and visit him.

This!

Lilithslove · 26/11/2022 17:40

I'd be more hurt if I was in your boyfriend's position. You are the one who won't get on the bus. The Oxford tube is fine, i used it to visit family all the time. You are guaranteed a seat and they are about every 10 minutes during the day. If you're not willing to do than on his birthday then I'd say you are not that into him.

Lilithslove · 26/11/2022 17:43

Also the strikes have been announced for ages. Could you have travelled there earlier and made a weekend of it?

Original poster
pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:44

Lilithslove · 26/11/2022 17:40

I'd be more hurt if I was in your boyfriend's position. You are the one who won't get on the bus. The Oxford tube is fine, i used it to visit family all the time. You are guaranteed a seat and they are about every 10 minutes during the day. If you're not willing to do than on his birthday then I'd say you are not that into him.

Yeah I use it all the time
This strike weekend has been madness! Ill try get on one tomorrow
Buses have been all full

OP posts:
Original poster
pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:46

Lilithslove · 26/11/2022 17:43

Also the strikes have been announced for ages. Could you have travelled there earlier and made a weekend of it?

I am a teacher I could have travelled only sat or sun
I waited 3 hours to get on one this morning.
I think everyone wants to go to London cause of black friday and xmas shopping

OP posts:
PinkFrenchie · 26/11/2022 17:47

His birthday, you should be making the effort. Surely you've known for a while when his bday is and train strikes, you should have planned accordingly.

Original poster
pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:47

MarshaMelrose · 26/11/2022 17:28

Maybe he's already started his birthday celebrations early and he can't drive.
This is why I'd never date someone without a car and who can't drive. Because I'd be the one who's expected to do the shuttling around.

I appreciate this... a car is in my plans
I never needed one in London but since I moved to Oxford I find its a necessity

OP posts:
Januarcelebration · 26/11/2022 17:49

So would he need to drive you back on Sunday as well?

Oxfordonian · 26/11/2022 17:49

I was at Gloucester Green at around 10.30 this morning and again around 12.30.

There were no bad queues at either time.
You weren't trying terribly hard, OP

notdaddycool · 26/11/2022 17:53

Get a buts about 8pm tonight, will be fairly empty.

DuplicateUserName · 26/11/2022 17:56

notdaddycool · 26/11/2022 17:53

Get a buts about 8pm tonight, will be fairly empty.

This is definitely a good idea.

I agree with PP's who say you don't sound as though you're really trying.

chikp · 26/11/2022 17:57

DuplicateUserName · 26/11/2022 17:56

This is definitely a good idea.

I agree with PP's who say you don't sound as though you're really trying.

Show quote history

Good shout

ItsButters · 26/11/2022 18:04

pizzaiseverything · 26/11/2022 17:35

Yeah...I didn’t specify I didn't manage to get of the bus today because they were too full due to strikes the queues were endless and this usually is never the case
:( so I’m afraid it will be the same tomorrow given that many didnt leave today (although no strikes)
I appreciate it would take longer than an hour for him to come so I hope I make it
Thanks for the comments ❤️

There are multiple national express buses tomorrow, why don't you pre-book?

Hesma · 26/11/2022 18:30

YABU, that’s a shit journey and it’s his birthday! I wouldn’t do it from Reading, the A34 sucks, there are roadworks on the M4 and it’s you’re delusional if you think it can be done in an hour

Fannyann0 · 26/11/2022 18:37

How long have you dated? It's hard to tell and you could assume on both ends here! I think you should mention you can do something together once the strikes have settled!