How would you feel if you felt DH was flirting in front of you?

[Runninouttatime]

He doesn’t see it this way. He said he’s just smiling and being friendly, banter etc. It could be someone we know or it could be a stranger. Last night we were talking for 5 mins to a group of women (strangers to us both). I glanced at him and felt he was staring at one of the women with a big smile, I glanced at her and felt she was doing the same. I pretended I hadn’t noticed, chatted a little and then we made our separate ways home.

if I were to bring it up he would accuse me of not trusting him, seeing things that weren’t there etc. I have experienced a lot of hurt via cheating in previous relationships so yes certain things can unfortunately be a little triggering.

Hmm, it's a tricky one. Maybe men and women are different in that way. If I'm out with a BF or DP, I can be chatting and friendly to opposite sex, but I tend to be a blind to anyone on a flirt/sexual level, so I doubt flirting features.
Some men build their self esteem around needing to know they are still attractive to others. These are the types who are always going to be hard to date. What's his personality like? Does he put a fair bit of effort in appearance when you go out and would he on balance be considered good-looking, but perhaps not the best personality?

I would feel disrespected.

I would feel that he was insinutating to whichever other woman it was, that I (his wife) wasn't important and that what was important was letting this other woman know that he found her attractive.

Not nice.

He SMILED at another woman? Kill him immediately.

Jesus fucking Christ. Your lives must be hard work.

Was he always like this? Some people will brush it off - some will take it as disrespect.
personally if a married man flirted with me with his wife there I would find it very icky

If he was actually genuinely flirting with someone in front of me I would be fucked off.

You know that’s not what she means… Why be horrible?

I find it hilarious! He’s so bad at it.

My husband is a flirt. I'm pretty self confident so it bothers me less than it would other women. I know he loves me.

We were at a wedding once and this woman (who is really beautiful and ten years younger and at the time didn’t have children) and she came over and my dh’s eyes literally came out on storks. And then he did this ruffle, big man preening thing.

And it was so embarrassing. And she was embarrassed. And he didn’t have a clue about how we were cringing.

I guess he couldn’t help his reaction but I still thought he was a complete dick and it came across more badly on him.

It wouldn’t bother me, but I think that might be a quirk of my own relationship rather than the norm.

It wouldn't bother me if it was random strangers.
What's the worst that can happen?

I’m not sure smiling at someone constitutes flirting to be honest. Maybe your idea of flirting is different to mine, I regularly smile at men, and women, I’m not flirting,

but I have seen him actually flirt and it makes me laugh and eye roll

I would find it very disrespectful and would not be happy at all. My DH wouldn't do it though (& neither would I) as we respect each other.

She said he was staring and smiling. So basically looking at her and smiling. If she means he was doing something else. Like asking for her number, telling her she was gorgeous, then please do tell

I'm not sure why you're talking to a group of strange women when you're out anyway? How does that even happen?

Op did you perceive this woman to be attractive?

I think it’s hard to answer without knowing the extent of the flirting.

if I thought it was way beyond the pale, OTT or a come on then I would feel he was being disrespectful.

if it was animated friendly chatting/banter with some drinks and everyone was having a nice time, I don’t think it be too phased by it.

He was looking at her and smiling, it’s right there in the op

My DH once flirted a bit too much with a woman we'd just met at a dinner. He was quite drunk to be fair to him, it was pretty much the only time I felt a bit annoyed at his behaviour. The woman in question who was about ten years younger and a beautiful blonde immediately turned away from him, towards me, and told me I had beautiful shoulders. Random compliment but love her! A fully paid-up member of the sisterhood. Then we proceeded to have a conversation and he was left at the table looking forlorn and drunk.

We do that all the time.
We're dog walkers though so you kind of get into the mode of talking to anyone.

Murderous. I would not be impressed if my dp was outwardly flirting with someone else. Very disrespectful.

some people are just natural flirts. It wouldn’t bother me if I knew they weren’t acting on it. I guess it comes down to the fact if you trust him or not

Well you don’t trust him do you?
I can’t imagine overthinking my dh smiling at a strange woman.
If he was ignoring everyone else and using flirty language then that’s not on.
But smiling!
I smile at people when I chat and I’m just being friendly.

I think we all know the difference between a friendly smile and the sort of smile the OP is talking about. You're being deliberately obtuse.

Thanks so much for all your replies. Most of which I’ve also thought.
@UWhatNow thanks! Knew I’d attract a few of these responses. Thanks for getting what I meant!
@Opentooffers he says he is this type of person too. Apparently naive to people being interested in him. He is fun, friendly, chatty, loves banter, has loads of charisma - great with people. Perhaps has a few inner self esteem issues which he won’t admit, hides behind a gregarious personality. My interpretation is that he gets an ego boost. He would swear blind I am reading too much into it, he loves me, would like to marry me one day etc etc. Because of deep feelings, because I hope one day this will be the case, I want to be sure I’m not being played, not being a fool. Because of my history, I automatically see threat in situations like these. A previous partner cheated so many times (I have since found out) with ‘female friends’. These experiences make it hard to be able to see the wood for the trees sometimes.
@chrimborambo the worst with strangers is more about a lack of respect as @Chamomileteaplease explained above
And @Footieunfan yes - this is why I posted really. My trigger makes me feel threatened, it constitutes a lack of respect, a need for an ego massage and a lack of thought of me. But yes he could just be smiling a lot (it was more the longer look/smile that bothered me). But yes I could be over thinking this… if you feel threatened things slow down, things seem more severe than they may be.