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Original poster

He's possibly impregnated someone

57 replies

Luciferthethird · 23/11/2022 18:23

I started dating someone who I've known for years, everything was going well. Then he let me know someone he was dating before messaged him to say she's pregnant, she's not sure who the father is doesn't think it's the man I've been dating but can't be sure.

It was all so new, so of course now I've been put on the back burner. I just feel like this always happens to me, there's always some obstacle in the way always something that comes up.

She's booked in for a scan to check dates this weekend he's going with her.

Not sure what I want from this post, I suppose I just need to vent a little and hopefully get some advice.

OP posts:
Bobcatbobby · 23/11/2022 19:46

I would definitely be backing off while they sort this one out, otherwise you could have end up hurt. You never know, the baby could end up being someone else’s and you could try things again later down the line once everything has blown over.

Curioushorse · 23/11/2022 19:47

Oh. See....I'm thinking different. I'm of the view that, if what he's told you is correct, then he's actually a very responsible, very nice person. If she has had a period, then both him and her will think it's unlikely to be his. But going along with her to the scan us the sort of thing a nice person would do- and confessing it to his new girlfriend is also the sort of thing a nice person would do.

So, yeah, it depends what you already know of him.
(And whether what he's told you is true)

Bievblac · 23/11/2022 19:50

This just sounds like a sorry mess you can walk away from. If it helps this happened to me. The girl was lying and was never pregnant but she did me a massive favour as he was a complete dick. Best of luck with it all and remember… know your worth.

hotelpink · 23/11/2022 19:53

Oh. See....I'm thinking different. I'm of the view that, if what he's told you is correct, then he's actually a very responsible, very nice person.

I don't think otherwise, but at the 'started dating' stage I would absolutely walk away from this.

Original poster
Luciferthethird · 23/11/2022 19:56

Curioushorse · 23/11/2022 19:47

Oh. See....I'm thinking different. I'm of the view that, if what he's told you is correct, then he's actually a very responsible, very nice person. If she has had a period, then both him and her will think it's unlikely to be his. But going along with her to the scan us the sort of thing a nice person would do- and confessing it to his new girlfriend is also the sort of thing a nice person would do.

So, yeah, it depends what you already know of him.
(And whether what he's told you is true)

Well these were my thoughts on the matter, he is nice, very responsible.

He told me about it straight away, and when he did I knew he would be getting stuck in to see what was happening and if it was his.
But yes I'm definitely backing off here, the majority are right and it's too much drama and expended energy so early on.

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 23/11/2022 20:13

I disagree with most. He did the right thing by going. I'd expect any man to go if there is any chance he's the dad. Hold fire, wait and see.

Wam90 · 23/11/2022 20:42

Oblomov22 · 23/11/2022 20:13

I disagree with most. He did the right thing by going. I'd expect any man to go if there is any chance he's the dad. Hold fire, wait and see.

I agree with this.

mindutopia · 23/11/2022 20:54

Oblomov22 · 23/11/2022 20:13

I disagree with most. He did the right thing by going. I'd expect any man to go if there is any chance he's the dad. Hold fire, wait and see.

Yes, this. We’ve all had an oopsy before. He’s doing the right thing by being supportive and going to the scan. I’d see that as a sign he’s a sensible responsible guy. If there potentially weeks between him and the other guy, the scan should be pretty definitive about paternity. I’d maybe just take a break until he knows what’s happening and then decide what you want to do going forward.

cheshirebloke · 23/11/2022 21:34

Curioushorse · 23/11/2022 19:47

Oh. See....I'm thinking different. I'm of the view that, if what he's told you is correct, then he's actually a very responsible, very nice person. If she has had a period, then both him and her will think it's unlikely to be his. But going along with her to the scan us the sort of thing a nice person would do- and confessing it to his new girlfriend is also the sort of thing a nice person would do.

So, yeah, it depends what you already know of him.
(And whether what he's told you is true)

I'm thinking along these lines too. I would go along to the scan if there was any chance at all the baby could be mine - if it turns out not to be then nothing lost, it's just manning up and taking responsibility to support an ex partner in an awkward situation. It's just a generally decent thing to do. If he didn't go and the baby did turn out to be his, he'd have missed out on a significant event and be guilt ridden. And yes, it's nice to view the dating calculation first hand too. If the other potential father is running for the hills, then it would be easy for the woman to not be completely straight about the dating results.

I guess it's a bit more complicated if both men want to go attend the scan! And I expect a lot of men wouldn't say a word to their current partner unless the baby turns out to be theirs. So be thankful that he's being open and honest with you. I wouldn't end it yet, just don't let things get too serious until paternity is confirmed and then make a decision if it's person and situation you want to continue with.

Fmlgirl · 23/11/2022 22:05

I don’t really share the above opinions and I’ve got my first scan coming up. No way would I take some random dude with me who I wasn’t sure is the father of my baby. I would sooner go alone. I think they both know that he’s most likely the father.

Original poster
Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 09:50

Just thought I'd give an update.
They must of been able to date the conception at the scan and it turns out it's not his baby. Not much else to add, I'm giving him space atm everything's a bit up in the air. Thanks for the support guys

OP posts:
AgentJohnson · 29/11/2022 09:59

Wait what? A DNA test is the only way to determine if he is or isn’t the father.

This ‘very responsible’ man had unprotected sex with someone he barely knew, it appears my definition of responsible differs from yours OP.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 29/11/2022 10:24

A dating scan can confirm if he is the father or not. He was irresponsible but not the OPs fault.

ranyBoskie · 29/11/2022 10:27

He's told u all u need to know. You will rue the day you decided to continue pursuing him despite this information coming to light.

softpilllow · 29/11/2022 10:30

Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 09:50

Just thought I'd give an update.
They must of been able to date the conception at the scan and it turns out it's not his baby. Not much else to add, I'm giving him space atm everything's a bit up in the air. Thanks for the support guys

You are giving him space? What would he need space for?

This is so bizarre. Give him all the space and walk away.

Cattenberg · 29/11/2022 10:34

Thanks for the update. I would tread carefully in case this man has been having unprotected sex with more than one woman.

In my experience, trouble seems to follow some people around and whilst I might have sympathy for them at times, I would be wary of dating such a person again.

Original poster
Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 10:41

Yes I am giving him all the space lol

I guess I just needed a reminder, even my sister was telling me he's "not enough" like on paper he ticks so many boxes and I think that's why I clung on, but the personality is just not there.

OP posts:
ranyBoskie · 29/11/2022 10:51

Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 10:41

Yes I am giving him all the space lol

I guess I just needed a reminder, even my sister was telling me he's "not enough" like on paper he ticks so many boxes and I think that's why I clung on, but the personality is just not there.

By giving him space u mean your hanging around for him. Cringe. Do better.

Original poster
Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 10:53

ranyBoskie · 29/11/2022 10:51

By giving him space u mean your hanging around for him. Cringe. Do better.

Show quote history

Oh my god you're so mean

But right

I'm a weak woman

I'm working on it

OP posts:
ranyBoskie · 29/11/2022 11:26

Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 10:53

Oh my god you're so mean

But right

I'm a weak woman

I'm working on it

Show quote history

I'm not mean. I can't be accountable for how you perceive me. If you were my daughter I would tell.u the same

Snugglemonkey · 29/11/2022 11:39

Georgeskitchen · 23/11/2022 18:45

If she had a period between men the second one will be the father

Was it a period though? I bled a lot in early pregnancy.

Snugglemonkey · 29/11/2022 11:47

Sorry, I see your update. All the best op.

Hoppinggreen · 29/11/2022 11:51

Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 09:50

Just thought I'd give an update.
They must of been able to date the conception at the scan and it turns out it's not his baby. Not much else to add, I'm giving him space atm everything's a bit up in the air. Thanks for the support guys

My dating scan was completely wrong, I knew the date of conception but the dating scan showed something different. At all subsequent scans the radiographer agreed with me and DS was born around when I expected
DNA is the only way to be sure
Unless of course the ex is 6 months pg and he only met her 2 months ago or similar

Original poster
Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 12:06

Hoppinggreen · 29/11/2022 11:51

My dating scan was completely wrong, I knew the date of conception but the dating scan showed something different. At all subsequent scans the radiographer agreed with me and DS was born around when I expected
DNA is the only way to be sure
Unless of course the ex is 6 months pg and he only met her 2 months ago or similar

Show quote history

Tbh, I don't have all the details I'm only taking at face value what I've been told.

They seemed pretty sure and with a period in between I think this woman was hoping that the man not suggesting to get an abortion was the father.

OP posts:
Original poster
Luciferthethird · 29/11/2022 12:07

ranyBoskie · 29/11/2022 11:26

I'm not mean. I can't be accountable for how you perceive me. If you were my daughter I would tell.u the same

Show quote history

I'll just edit my previous post

You're mean, but you're correct
And it's the kick up the arse I needed
😊

OP posts: