I'm going to describe this as factually as possible and want honest opinions
DC (3) still has tantrums. Every morning it's hard to get him ready. He was playing with playdoh and he was half dressed. Before he put his jumper on he said "more playdoh mummy". I had got some out and it was on the side. He did already have some in his hands.
DH comes downstairs to take DC to school. DH says "no more playdoh. We are going now"
Tantrum starts. It's a bad one. DC shouting a lot "more playdoh etc etc"
I say under my breath to DH "he could have just had that playdoh you know. I did get it out for him"
DH shouts "fuck you. Fuck off undermining me like always"
DC stops tantrum as soon as DH shouts at me and starts shouting at DH "stop fighting"
I say "calm down DH. Stop shouting in front of DC"
He keeps shouting
I say "you're less in control of your emotions that DS"
DH grabs the pot of play-doh (which he had put on a high shelf" and throws it really hard at the floor right in front of DS.
I tell DH to get out.
DH shouts "you fucking made this happen. Undermining me as fucking usual. This is your fault."
I haven't raised my voice once but DH tells me I've got that "look on my face"
My poor baby boy.
It lasted 5 mins in total. They have now left and I have to get ready for work with the baby.
Was I undermining? Is this abusive? I can't think straight these days.