Makes no difference in my opinion, she knows about you and she doesn't care, neither does your husband, you are currently on the outside and feeling like the outsider, a mug, sorry but I know what that feels like.
So many emotions you are trying to come accustomed to, betrayal, lies, dishonesty, shame, devastation and disloyalty, we know how fucking hard that is, it's pain beyond anything. You must feel stuck, not knowing way way to move for fear of making things worse or hoping things will suddenly make sense again and your husband will return to the sanity of the marriage.
Well there's a few things you need to accept, you will never feel the same again, even if he starts dong the right things or making the correct noises, this is the man you never knew, say hello to him. He is and was always capable of this type of hurtful behaviour to you, this is not a madness that has overcome him in middle age, this man is who he has always been.
Good men do not do this for they understand the pure visceral hurt it causes to a long standing partnersip, they would hate for it to hapen to them, it keeps good men from inflicting that sort of hurt on their partner.
So he has a lack of empathy, a cruel streak, a selfishness that makes him unable to understand your pain and for that you need to disengage, this man is unsafe in every way. Now you can sit there polaxed by this treatment or you can act, firstly try to eat, sleep whenever you can, you have been beaten up in a most vicious way by someone you trusted, even worse than it coming from a stranger.
This guy is showing no remorse, his doctor status has really pushed him up onto that superman platform, hasn't it, well you need to start viewing him through a different more realistic lens, he's a complete knobhead, and his friend is no better, both idiots with no sense of loyalty. How wonderful he is saving peoples lives and at the same time killing his wife, big shout out to the deluded mesiah.
Stop covering for him, all that hurt is being sucked up and directed back at yourself to protect his reputation, blow it up, your marriage is a sham, your life has become a sham yet he gets to walk around as though nothing has happened. Being proud and middle class does nothing for you here. Tell your family and friends if you have support there, phone her up, so what if she tells you nothing, it will probably make you angrier and give you strength, show her you don't give a shit about being polite and you are not going to be intimidated by silence, who cares if she laughs, you're beyond that.
Your anger will come, who knows what the outcome will be but by doing nothing and waiting for normaility to return will make you ill, go to a solicitor, get the ducks ready for the time where you may need them, then apply the consequenses, you must apply consequenses, the no sex, the withdrawl of family life and friendship with him, he is now a stranger, treat him so, disengage and dehumanise him, look at him like a piece of shit, he is not worthy of your time or attention, do not beg, ignor and ask him to leave if he will.
He has taken you down, now don't you give a fuck about bringing him down, maybe he will care, maybe not but life's not for covering up, secrets lies and pain in my opinion always need revealing, you'd be be surprised how many people actually look down on this type of behaviour and the type of men that do it, although the cool brigade will tell you no one cares. They do and others will judge him and his morals and he will hate to be judged, they say they don't care but they really do.
Mr Dr what a shame about him.
Stand up for yourself.
