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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Are most men like this?

54 replies

Waveafterwave14 · 15/11/2022 08:24

I have 2 autoimmune diseases. Recently got flu and it absolutely floored me. Now normally I struggle on and look after the 2 DC but I could barely stand on Saturday.
DP has football every Saturday and is gone most of the day. I asked if he could drop the DC to my mums so I could rest. He asked if I was really that bad and said he didn't have time to drop the children and got his mum to come to the house instead. Which I appreciate but the noise was incredible when my head was already pounding and youngest DC did not have a nap all day.
Yesterday DP woke me with lemsip and pills to take and told me to just "lay on the sofa all day with the 2 year old as it's no different than being in bed".
I had to repeat that I could barely stand as so dizzy and I was not able to look after DD.
DP tried to get hold of his mum again and she said she was also poorly and couldn't help out. He was then furious with me that I made him take ONE day off work to care for our child. Not me as he didn't ask if I needed anything or come up to room once all day. He told me the world can't stop just because I am ill. If he is ever poorly I would never get my mum round to look after him/kids and go off kicking a ball around.
Are men really this shitty or am I just feeling sorry for myself because I feel so ill 😢

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/11/2022 22:08

ahunf · 15/11/2022 15:13

I have suspected flu, temp aching shivers headache. Dh has been away since august with work so Ive done everything myself for the kids / house.

He came home Friday and already he's had enough and said he's going to stop at his mums.

Dd2 is ill. She's 10 but very clingy and has not left my side since Friday. I've had to sleep on her floor.

He's called me a lazy f**cker. He did do the food shop but had a go at me to put it away. My bones were hurting.

He's military so used to getting on with things but I'm bloody not.

I had some damp washing on the airer. The only place to put it is heat the kitchen table. He took everything off and I found it hours later all smelly.

I'm autistic so I revert to a child when ill. I'm pathetic but he's a nob.

Jesus. You know this is completely unacceptable don’t you? He’s revolting. How long are you going to tolerate it?

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/11/2022 22:10

And OP, no. But even if we were all living with selfish arsehole man babies would that make it okay that you do? Get some standards and stick to them. Your child is watching and listening to you being treated like shit and knowing that dad thinks they’re a major inconvenience.

hosyyy · 15/11/2022 22:13

I would honestly leave someone if they treated me like that when I was sick. What a cruel arsewipe

Whydidimarryhim · 15/11/2022 22:39

That’s terrible and not acceptable- it’s not love and care is it. He’s cruel. You need to think about what messages you are showing your children. It’s not healthy.

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