DH put me on a sex site

[Pearlescentflower]

My DH has consistently lied and walked out throughout our 16 year relationship.
We have 2 children and he even did this while he had access to his other child leaving me with him too. And my two older ones back then.
He controls the income because he's "the worker" (I worked for him and did some other work out of the home) he doesn't give me a wage but also takes the working tax credits. He refuses to pay any bills but does pay the car insurance but also has primary control over the car.
He has a problem with weed and also lies about his usage. Some hints of infidelity, finding messages that he claims were catfishing etc and that he consoles other women and discusses our problems also with other women but I have all kinds of rules for who I can and can't talk to and when.
After all these years, I told him I couldn't trust him anymore and couldn't sleep with him. He is very sexually manipulative and will give me the silent treatment for not putting out. And he threatens/warns to go with other women because I don't satisfy him.
Recently he took screen shots from a private video we made on his request, and put a paid advert online without my knowledge advertising me to other men.
He took it as far as to give out his number and our location and had been intimately messaging a number of men about me.
I was furious and told him it was disgusting to do that for his own entertainment.
He has blamed me for not "lighting his fire" and laughed at me saying "god forbid I have any excitement.
I think this is absolutely disgusting, and it's only a fraction of what he's been doing over the years.
I want him to leave, AIBU

I can't believe you even need to ask if YABU?

Get rid NOW. And report to the police. What he has done is illegal.

Everything you describe him doing here is a crime, his behaviour is coercively controlling, by controlling your finances, the car, hes gaslighting you to excuse his abhorrent behaviour, hes coercing you into sex, and hes selling intimate images of you.

I'm so sorry you have been going through this for so long. You are incredibly strong to have lived through all of this and manage to take care of your children.

Please know that his behaviour is a choice he makes, none of this is your fault, he chooses to be abusive and controlling. You are a survivor!!!

You could go to the police about all of this, it's a big step and might seem scary. If you go to women's aid first they can provide you with support and help around finances. They can also provide you with an advocate to support you through any police reporting, if you choose to do that.

Now is your time to do things at your own pace. I know a lot of people say just leave him. But I know that is easier said than done when you are the one in the abusive situation.

Remember you, YOU are the expert in your own situation, but do please seek some support.

Wishing you all the best. You are incredible!!!

Omg so sorry OP. Get rid and get to safety. Please. Report to Police, it is a crime.

You are being abused by him, please contact your local Women's Aid. They will help you deal with this. Also, call the police, what he is doing is coercive control which is an offence. They can remove him.

You didn't need to get to this awful new low to be perfectly reasonable to leave him.
The first sentence of your OP would have done it.

Do not waste any more of your life with this man

Call the police. Call them now.

Do you understand that you are in a hideously abusive relationship?

My advise would be to contact womens aid, the police and a solicitor, as what he is doing is abhorrent, criminal and you need a divorce!

Are you really asking if YABU?

Call the police

He can and probably will go to prison for doing that

@Pearlescentflower this man is dangerous and abusive (on the top of doing stuff that are clearly illegal).

Please contact women Aid. Yes you should report him to the police etc….But leaving an abusive relationship, dealing with the potential risk associated with it is hard. You need RL support. So please contact the WA. Ask them to put you in touch with a lawyer specialised in those issues.
Make sure you are safe.
As others have said, screenshot as much as you can. But I’d contact WA first so that any steps you are taking, incl contacting the police is done in such way you and the dcs are safe.

Call the police.

He is sexually, emotionally and financially abusing you.

What he's doing is illegal and very wrong.

What will happen next? He's inviting men to rape you.

YABVU not to have left him years ago. He sounds hideous.

All good advice provided, yours for the taking.

You really will be alright, better than alright after leaving this monster.

He is supposed to be the one person you can trust. This behaviour is awful. Please contact the police or womens aid. This is not ok.

Even if you decide not to report this I hope you find whatever strength has been lacking previously to leave this parasite.

Why haven’t you left yet, and please for the love of god don’t use the words ‘family unit’ to describe this shitshow…

From what I can tell you are paying for everything as it is, so what’s the deal?

I would be concerned that he could've invited one of these blokes round at any time, promising them they can do whatever to you. These blokes know your address and he's made them think you're up for a shag with them.

I think you should leave to ensure your safety @Pearlescentflower xx