Please can you help me work out what this text message means?

[Nursemammato3]

My relationship ended a couple of months ago. He was alot younger. Posted here in regards to our differences. He reached out and I have too since, only a message here and there. I struggled with the ending even though I knew it was for the best. His last message to me was 'I am not the man you fell in love with, I'm not the right fit for you but I'm there for you if you need me'. I decided to go no contact as it wasn't helping and told him I needed to stop messaging as it hurts. A couple of weeks later he messaged to say, 'I'm here for you, I don't like that you have nobody to talk to' (no close family). I told him i was struggling but thanked him and he repeated that he cares for me but he isn't the right fit for me and wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he couldn't give me what I needed. He's right and I have accepted that although it's difficult, it's for the best and I said I agreed and told him to take care. It was hard hearing from him but I thought at least its on good terms. I now need to completely accept it and move on. I deleted his number. I have cried but I know the loss isn't him.
Last night he messaged again and said......
'I know we haven't spoken in days but I have woken up after have a sexual dream about you and I have nowhere to turn. As its about you and you are on my mind, I thought I should say'
I messaged and said I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with that message. He said 'nothing, it was on my mind at the time and needed to get it out of my head'.
Is that cruel? Why would he do that?

I agree with everyone else here! He is a creep -- he doesn't need to tell you about his sexual dreams.His disrespect says nothing about you and everything about him.

I'd see these crass messages as a plus, actually. You were thinking you had lost a good relationship, which is sad. But it turns out he's a user who's trying to keep you on a back burner for when he wants no-strings sex. Good riddance.

@Nursemammato3 If you can remember his number then I think you can type it in your block list to block him somehow. Or google and maybe he has his number up somewhere online so you can block it. www.businessinsider.com/guides/tech/how-to-block-a-number-on-android?r=US&IR=T

Booty call as everyone else has said. But don't feel bad about it - it's a reflection on him not you. You did the right thing.

Use this winter as a chance to do something new and move on from him. Book a holiday - anything really. So if he ever does contact you again it'll all be in perspective and you can just block him.

One ex tried to triangulate me with his new girlfriend by ringing me on my birthday while saying, "ha ha, my girlfriend is looking really angry at me ringing you". My response was, "Well don't do it then!". This was about 20 years ago before I was savvy/jaded. But I knew he was taking the fucking piss.
Solidarity, sister
Xx

He said I'm not the right fit for you but I'm there for you if you need me'. I decided to go no contact as it wasn't helping and told him I needed to stop messaging as it hurts. A couple of weeks later he messaged to say, 'I'm here for you, I don't like that you have nobody to talk to' (no close family). I told him i was struggling but thanked him and he repeated that he cares for me but he isn't the right fit for me and wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he couldn't give me what I needed

It seems to me that he was behaving in a very suspect way before he contacted you about his dream. From what you say here I think he’s been very careful to tell you that you are needy, don’t function well, you’re alone and need his support to function well. It’s much easier to keep someone waiting in the wings if you can reduce them first and I think that’s what he has attempted to do. It’s been dressed up as kindness and concern. Yes, I do think that’s cruel and a red flag. You are well out of it.

His bad behaviour isn’t a gauge of your worth. Some people are selfish and don’t treat others well and that’s on them, not on the recipients of their behaviour. Your worth isn’t correlated with how he treats you. It ultimately doesn’t matter what he thinks about your worth and I doubt he thinks too much about it or anyone other than himself.

Agree with the others.

whyever it ended, those reasons haven't been taken back. He's not telling you that everything's changed. He's saying he thinks you're vulnerable and he thought of you after a sex dream.

Blimey.

If his number is still in your call log you can block it from there, you could look on your phone bill to find his number then add it to your phone, block it then delete.
I’m assuming you’d be able to figure out which number is his from text message/phone call timings.

He knows how you feel about him and he wants to see if he can’t get a shag or two out of him.

He’ll be prepared to say things to get you into bed, then he’ll drop you again and each time will feel like the breakup. It’ll hurt.

But if you say anything he’ll say, ‘I was honest, I told you we weren’t a good fit. I’ve done nothing wrong. You wanted sex too.’ And you’ll feel awful again.

Block him. If you go down the road of any contact with him at best you’ll never be able to move on, at worst, you’ll be extremely hurt.

Out of you*

You didn't really end as friends though. He played a game to keep you on the back burner. Isn't he a treat?

Delete the bloke!

Block him
Ignore him
He is bad news
He likes the idea of you needing him, perhaps even chasing after him, but him having no obligation to you as he had rejected a relationship with you. He wants you to keep fantasising about getting back together with him. He doesn't want you to forget about him and move on. He wants a front row seat to observe you suffering without him.

Just don't engage with him any more. Block everything and move on.

He just wants a sex buddy and he not the man for you as he can't commit to you.

But he messaging you when he wants and you need to tell him to not contact you at all for sex. You need to move on and you deserve better. He might care but it's not enough.

Flush, block, delete, move on.

You're better than this OP.

He was being disrespectful and you were not cruel. He had been trying to keep you dangling with the first couple of nice guys here for you texts, then he went for the more direct approach.

What a dick! What is wrong with some people 🙄

So sorry op. He is a shit.

He wants a shag. Without commitment to you and all the hinting is so you initiate it.Then if you get hurt or want more he can blame you. ‘I was just a nice guy and giving someone you could turn to. You knew there was no commitment. It’s your fault you are hurt. Not mine. I am still the nice guy’

Everyone deserve better

Is that cruel?
Yes.

Why would he do that?
Because he's a player.

You have told him you want to stop messaging & he has ignored that TWICE.
Think about what that boundary-trampling means.
It means he does not respect your NO. He does not care about your feelings & decisions. He just does exactly what HE wants to do & he does not give a shit how that makes you feel.

Those first two incidents of crashing your boundary were to test your resolve & see what he could get away with.
This last one - about his "dream" FFS - is what he intended to lead up to all the time.
Under the guise of NiceGuyTM he bullshitted you about how he cares about you SO MUCH that he can't possibly be in a relationship with you. He tested how much of that crap you would swallow - then sprang his sex-dream on you. He expects you to fall for his bait so that he can have no-strings sex with you.

Can you genuinely not see how you have been set up here?
I know you are hurt & due to that are not making the best & sensible decisions about this guy.
But when you decide to go no contact, that means you DELETE & BLOCK. Because when you state a boundary, you don't naively trust boundary-crashers to hear you & respect you - you ENFORCE THAT BOUNDARY YOURSELF.

Stop falling for his bullshit.
Stop accepting messages from him & FFS don't respond to any other forms of contact he pulls out of his hat.

Oh ha ha OP bloody well done you!

ODFOD with your patronising dick-pandering nonsense.
& take your grain with you.

This man isn't 'struggling'. OP has told him clearly she doesn't want to hear from him. His response isn't a 'struggle' it's him driving a steamroller over her "NO".

Well done on telling him off.
Every time he contacted you, he insulted you. Then the final one texting you late at night about his horniness hoping for a shag.

He's a nasty arsehole and you're well rid.

I don't know if his number will auto populate if you start typing it in but that might be one way to get the number so you can block it.