Adultworks

[ConfusedMum08]

Hi,

I found adultworks on my boyfriend's phone. I know all.about the site, I've researched.
He lied and shouted to start, but my gut was telling me there was more to it than just viewing free content.
I've left it a day, and grilled him, asking to see bank details, as prove. He swore on everyone lives, cried and begged. I got it out he's openly told me he's spent £30 on there. I haven't asked for prove. Told him he's got 2 days to think about eberything and tell me. Before I start looking. You can't hide bank details. He's deactivated his account but I've asked to veiw it.

We've been together 5 years
Have 11 month old and currently 4 months pregnant

I know he's only cried because he got caught. He wasn't sad when he was watching.

Question, what does £30 get you on the site. He says veiw the gallery and a video, not a private one. I know this is lies. Just need to hear it.

The trust has gone
My self-esteem is cushed

I own my own house but currently need him financially as entitled to no government help.

I'd not focus on the detail, such as the £30, as it's likely not to be true anyway, but try and see the bigger picture. Don't wait for him to respond, make your own decisions about what you need and want. I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just wanting to see how many lies he's told, but it doesn't matter does it. It won't change anything

He has been using escorts and prostitutes. That’s the reason for the website.

£30 is a red herring.. the true cost will be on his bank statement. You'll have to look for cash withdrawal.

He can reactive the account. I'm guessing he won’t and will make up loads of excuses why he can’t.

I'm sorry your going through this difficult time.

I know. The more I think about it, I dont need any more prove, I dont need to see anything else.
I just need a plan

💐

can you speak to family or friends to help support you?

I've got an amazing support system.

I agree with PP that the details don't matter eg exactly what £30 would by you but spending money on this site doesn't mean he's been using escorts (as in visiting sex workers). He might have been paying for content like personal photos or videos.

I just dont understand, he's lied and swore on lives. But crumbled when caught out. But my guts telling me there is something else, but I don't want to know

Porn is free, why didn't he just watch porn.
He's payed for a sexual service, whatever that may be
He's only sorry he's been caught.

£30 is the standard rate for a 15 minute quickie. £60 is for half an hour. £120 for 1 hour. Unfortunately, leatnt all this by finding out my partner had been visiting escorts. So sorry you are going through this.

I'm sorry OP
Left my DP because he'd been on this site and watching live shows and even messaging them on WhatsApp

Porn is free, why didn't he just watch porn. He's payed for a sexual service, whatever that may be

This is horrible to hear but men who pay for web cam sessions / any other interactive sex services do it because they want a woman to perform on command, doing what they are told to do in real time.

It's the sign of a closet misogynist IMO.

Wanting women to do their bidding on command rather than watching something free where the women aren't in his control.

It could be phone/cam/message chat or access to galleries/videos. Basically any of the services on there that are accessible through a screen

I had a feeling, I'm.sorry you went through this

Get an STD test.
Don't go anywhere near him.
Tell him he's a pathetic little POS then stop talking to him. He's not worth it.
Know that it's 100% not about you and 100% all about him and is pathetic little ego.

£30 is probably for private gallery. Many escorts share their facial pictures on their private gallery before customers book. I would look at his bank account rates vary look for cash withdrawals between £50- as much as £1000s. Some are sneaky and withdraw in smaller amounts.

Or they get cashbacks when shopping. Sad losers.

As he hasn't been caught until now and used his bank account to pay for AW I'd say the daft bastard probably has probably not been clever enough to do cash back. Check his bank statements OP!!

£30 is a variety of things, could be...

*phonecall at £1per min

• private cam session usually £1.50+ per min
• bought private pics /videos
• bought used items
• paid as a deposit (known as tribute) then the rest in cash when they meet in person

Either way, adultwork is a site for personal interaction and definitely isn't the same as a free porn website

So, I've got some personal experience with this. My (now) fiance used that site since he was a teenager. After catching him 3 times (once while I was pregnant with his first child), enough was enough. I gave him the choice that we end it and co-parent amicably, or he takes actual steps to sort this out because I couldn't deal with anymore of this disgusting, vile beytrayal.
He took the steps I offered him. He had a porn addiction, and when regular porn didn't do it for him, he would go on that website for more of a thrill. Which then escalated to messaging prostitutes.
He'd been that way years before I ever met him, it just took me far too long to realise it.
Since that point, he's been porn free. No issues with infidelity, no issues with porn or prostitutes.
The difference, I think, is that he admitted everything to me. Things I didn't know, things I didn't have suspicions of. He never met one, never slept with anyone. It was just the "thrill" of it, the attention.
It's down to you whether you want to try and get through this or not, nobody would blame you if you didn't. But if you want to try and reconcile, he needs to be open, honest and fully admit everything that has happened. If you ask to see his bank statements, and he refuses that's showing he's not willing to be accountable for his actions. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you take a big breath and really think about what YOU want. Not what's best for the LO, because the only thing that kids need are happy parents, whether they're together or not.
Good luck.

Sorry but they all say that. I just called, never met. That's what what my partner told me for years. It was only when I did more digging did I find out it was more than just sexting.

I understand this is quite a cliche, but believe me, there would have been zero way of him visiting a prostitute without me knowing about it. I won't go into the ins and outs of our relationship, but I can 100% guarantee he never physically met with one.

@ConfusedMum08

if could be use galleries and videos
despite what others say

Sorry this is absolute bullshit. Punters are generally punters for life , they don't change. He wants to shag/wank to different women but he wants a good little wife at home and children.
Hardly any women would accept that , so they lie!! The sex addiction thing is another bullshit excuse, they don't want to be monogamous. End of.

That is entirely your opinion, but without knowing the ins and outs of everybodys relationships, it will remain your opinion and not fact.
"Punters are generally punters for life". Generally. You're contradicting your own statement here. According to you, they either are punters for life, or there's a circumstance where they aren't punters for life. So what actually is your opinion? That people can change, or they can't?

You'd think they'd get bored of shagging random women, especially as it must often be so formulaic and knowing that some other potentially dirty A-hole has just been where they're going. All that fake moaning would put me right off if I was a man. But then they're probably deluded thinking that the prossie is having a good time because they themselves have never grown up enough to have a mature relationship with a woman.