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Original poster

Does your partner constantly want sex?

65 replies

baristababe · 05/11/2022 15:04

I split up with my partner for a while and we've just decided to give it another go.
He just wants sex all the time though.. even if we have it on a night he'll want it again the next morning and when I say no he'll beg and plead until I actually have to be quite firm after which he gets upset. We can't just sit on the sofa and have him cuddle of massage me without him trying to fondle my boobs or stroke my nether regions. He pays more attention and affection to me than he does our daughter.
Is this a normal man? Or is it me with a low sex drive?

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 05/11/2022 16:46

He's a sex pest, was when you split, still is now and always will be. I was married to one once and it's fucking awful and deeply unsexy. It's not normal and not just how men are.

My DH now is generally horny more often than I am, but NEVER pushes the issue if I'm not in the mood, and is perfectly capable of having a cuddle on the sofa without trying it on.

Mischance · 05/11/2022 16:49

Oh please do not endure this any more.

My OH was like this and it drove me nuts - I could not even take my cardigan off on a hot day without his eyes lighting up and starting to grab at me. Even though I knew it was caused by a degenerative neurological disorder and he could not help it, I really felt as though I was under siege - it drove me crazy.

You are with someone who can help it and can make adult choices and quite simply you do not have to put up with this.

Motherofalittledragon · 05/11/2022 16:52

Yuck begging and pleading, that's such a turn off for sure

elephantseal · 05/11/2022 16:55

baristababe · 05/11/2022 15:09

He would sulk if I didn't want sex. He was messaging other women.

Hmm. What has changed since you got back together? Is he sorry and is he doing his best to make you trust him? Doesn't sound like it.

I'd tell him how you feel - in strong terms. Then if he doesn't change, I'd end things with him.

His behaviour is NOT normal. He's disrespectful, harassing and a sex pest. Yuk.

Inasec24 · 05/11/2022 18:57

No it is not normal for a man to beg and plead for sex - I can't think of anything less attractive tbh.

HelsyQ · 20/12/2022 17:31

I know this is old but he gave me the ick just reading this. He sounds like a right creep

Watchkeys · 20/12/2022 18:11

when I say no he'll beg and plead until I actually have to be quite firm after which he gets upset

Why do you want to be with someone who treats you like this?

MolliciousIntent · 20/12/2022 18:13

Yes my husband wants sex all the time. He suggests every few days, we do it about once a week, he always takes no for an answer in good grace.

defi · 20/12/2022 18:14

He would sulk if I didn't want sex. He was messaging other women.

^ I don't understand taking him back. Do you enjoy sex with him? Might have mismatched sex drives

HelsyQ · 20/12/2022 18:17

defi · 20/12/2022 18:14

He would sulk if I didn't want sex. He was messaging other women.

^ I don't understand taking him back. Do you enjoy sex with him? Might have mismatched sex drives

that and he’s a bit rapey.

emotionally manipulating someone by getting in a stress and punishing them with your bad mood because you won’t allow them unlimited is sexual abuse and emotional abuse. Saying yes to save yourself from emotional and mental pain is not a yes.

Greenfairydust · 20/12/2022 18:22

He sounds like a complete loser and a turn off.

Why did you take him back? you deserve better than a whiny sex pest who is not even a good father.

OldFan · 20/12/2022 18:25

That's sexual assault OP.

I've known some men like that- it's a delight to be single rather than put up with all the pressure etc.

HellsBells87 · 20/12/2022 18:26

Yes he does but so do I so we're well suited. If I wasn't feeling well and not up for it, he'd know and not initiate.

User838960 · 20/12/2022 18:30

The begging and pleading is seriously ick for me and manipulative. Must be incredibly frustrating for you and make you feel so forced!!!

My partner has a very healthy sexual appetite (and I guess I do too) however he doesn't instigate it all evening long. A quickie when we jump into bed is enough for us. And I should emphasise QUICKIE. Otherwise I most certainly would not bother as frequently as we do 😂

Haffiana · 20/12/2022 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DonnaBanana · 21/12/2022 09:47

He pays more attention and affection to me than he does our daughter.

You need to communicate more and he needs to change his ways a bit but there’s nothing weird about the above. A marriage is more important than children and will become even more so over time. God, marriage, children, then church.

Watchkeys · 21/12/2022 12:07

I would say that these posts are BY a man taking the piss on a site used by women

@Haffiana If it is, how is your comment helpful? If it isn't, how is your comment helpful?

OldFan · 21/12/2022 13:34

I would say that these posts are BY a man taking the piss on a site used by women.

@Haffiana There's no reason to believe that. There have been many threads about women being assaulted or sexually coerced/pestered in relationships. I even made one myself years ago, and I wasn't making it up. Unfortunately, it's not an unknown scenario at all.

talkingmorenonsense · 21/12/2022 13:36

My ex was a sex pest. It’s deeply unattractive and he’s an ex because of the constant pestering and sulking.

OldFan · 22/12/2022 13:53

How're you doing @baristababe ?

As your partner is grabbing your boobs or vulva without your consent, he's not just a pest, he is sexually assaulting you.

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2022 17:04

baristababe · 05/11/2022 15:09

He would sulk if I didn't want sex. He was messaging other women.

Why on earth have you taken him back?

Yuck

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2022 17:05

DonnaBanana · 21/12/2022 09:47

He pays more attention and affection to me than he does our daughter.

You need to communicate more and he needs to change his ways a bit but there’s nothing weird about the above. A marriage is more important than children and will become even more so over time. God, marriage, children, then church.

OFFS.

OP - please take no notice of this

DonnaBanana · 22/12/2022 22:55

Placing children as more important than the marriage is the cause of a lot of problems.

Watchkeys · 23/12/2022 09:14

DonnaBanana · 22/12/2022 22:55

Placing children as more important than the marriage is the cause of a lot of problems.

So if the children are suffering as a result of the fact that the marriage is failing, it's more important to stay together than to remove the children from the unhealthy situation?

What if the marriage can't be saved because the adults are incompatible or there's abuse? Would you still put the marriage first then?

MiaAntonia · 25/12/2022 14:57

I am married, 51, and I welcome a man who wants to get his hands on me at any time. As my sex drive is certainly greater than that of my husband, I very often I provoke him sexually to entice him to have sex with me.

If you love the person then it is my opinion that you make yourself available to him.