First post but really looking for some helpful advice and support. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and due in January. I’m still trying to get over the shock of my breakup and how things have turned out and the fact I’m sitting here pregnant and single. 3 months ago after another silly argument with my now ex partner I got kicked out of “our home” extremely abruptly. He is 47 I’m 32. Both our first baby. We were together about 18 months. Found out I was pregnant after we came back off holiday at the start of may. I had a lot of anxieties about the pregnancy as I was so shocked and something I had always desparately wanted. I am an over worrier anyway and always thought something was wrong, kept paying foR private scans etc which drove him mad. I also suffered from extreme anaemia so had awful headaches and extreme tiredness so I guess wasn’t easy to be around. The relationship was always quite volatile. He seemed happy about the pregnancy and was nagging me to write lists etc and always wanted to be part of appointments etc. had a few big arguments during the pregnancy. It was always something trivial yet his temper would always go from 0-100 pretty quick. A few examples being after “nagging” him and rushing him to finish his drink in a restaurant as he was sitting there just on Facebook whilst i just sat there he slammed his drink down walked out and I ran following him to the car like an idiot. He then after we were arguing and I was crying punched the windscreen which shattered whilst driving which scared me. Which I found crazy and scary. Another time after an argument he drove straight to my parents house late in the evening to basically moan about me made me stay the for the night and described me as “bat shit crazy” my mum told him I was fragile and I do over worry. Another time he called his mum so she could listen to him argue. Every single
time we would argue he would tell me without fail to pack my stuff (I lived in his rented flat in his name but paid him rent) always said go which was great. The amount of times I had the key taken off after an argument was unreal. Anyway the final straw came about 3 months ago. I was off work unwell in bed (pregnancy related). He rang me and I was a bit miserable and grumpy on the phone. We were talking about his birthday and his plans to go out the following weekend. I said I doing I would come as they are big drinkers and I wouldn’t want to Travel back alone etc as wouldn’t stay out all night. He then proceeded to say he was going to invite two of his girl friends, one of them being someone I felt extremely uncomfortable about. Someone he lived with for years went on holidays with an had sex with a handful of times apparently but they were never a couple. We had arguments prior as when I saw her messages on his phone I asked what they were talking about and he said none of my business which being pregnant with his child didn’t go down well. I never met her either in the whole time we were together. I said a shitty comment being “at least you’ll be surrounded by girls” and he then went absolute mental down the phone screaming and I mean screaming F OFF* the usual default get out script I’m coming home to pack your stuff I’m done with you. I said I’m not putting up with being screamed at whilst pregnant anymore as this happened a lot, I said I will pack a few weeks stuff and go to my parents. They were away on holiday so being 16 odd weeks pregnant and off work unwell I didn’t need to move my whole stuff there and then. I laid down for half an hour to try and keep calm. He then came back accompanied shockingly with his Mum and sister and insisted on bin bagging up all my stuff (I wasn’t allowed to pack my own things) so I had his 70 year old mum packing my bloody underwear and dildo, they emptied the contents of the fridge and freezer and within an hour dumped it all off in bin bags at my parents. I was in a complete an utter state of shock. I was really poorly the next day and he refused to take my calls. I then after a few days came to my senses in what he had done and how horrific it was and was angry. He messaged me 4 whole weeks later saying he thought he “better see how things are” as he thought my parents would have contacted him. I sent a large message back saying I’m disgusted and he is no longer part of my life and I won’t talk to him anymore after him and his family treated me like that whilst pregnant. I then blocked him as I couldn’t bare the response. Anyway 14 weeks down the line I’m still in a state of shock. The first few weeks I was a complete an utter mess. I was basically force feeding myself, extremely depressed scared and upset. I had to have extra checks with the midwife. He has never picked up the phone to check on me. I just can’t believe a 47 year old man could act this way. I feel scared and alone but have a very supportive family and will have the baby there. They are extremely angry and disgusted in his Behaviour but we have not contacted and never will it’s not our place. Also as my dad has said we don’t want him around the baby as he is so irrational erratic and clearly not stable. I just naively can’t comprehend how he hasn’t picked up the phone like a man to check in on his unborn child. I’m now in limbo if he will ever pop up again. I’m just still in shock. The upset has subsided and it’s more anger. He just gets to abandon any responsibility. I actually don’t want him around the baby so sound contradictory but still just can’t fathom
the lack of care. It’s also the first time I’ve ever been single and stupidly worried I will always been on my own now. I’m grieving the family unit. I just can’t believe it.