Would you invite yourself to stay at someone’s house on the night of their wedding?!

[EL8888]

We are getting married shortly. A family member who is attending the wedding has invited themselves to stay at our house on the night of the wedding. Problem is we will be there! Plus obviously it’s our wedding night. We are going on honeymoon but not straightaway. They know all of this!

No but my in laws would and did.

What did you say?!

What do you mean, invited themselves? What did you say when they asked if they could stay? Could they stay with any other relative/guest at the wedding instead? Will you just be crashing there in a drunken stupor before your honeymoon so it won't matter? Do you mind? If so, tell them you mind, as it's your wedding night!

Surely you can just say 'sorry it's not convenient' ... who is it? If it is an elderly relative who has travelled a long way to attend your wedding perhaps the kindest thing would be to help them find alternative accommodation.

Nobody just invites themselves without you indicating some kind of consent? You say you're getting married shortly so I take it they've known about the event for some time. Did they originally have alternative plans that have fell through? You just kindly buy firmly tell them its not possible but signpost them to local hotels or ways to get home, it train timetable etc

@AssignedSlytherinAtBirth they asked by a text which is odd in itself. Text was sent back saying no. Didn’t justify the no very much as it’s obvious it’s our wedding night -for clarity it is literally our house and we aren’t living with family. We massively mind so it’s a clear no. I’m impressed at their brass neck though. Especially as they have other plans which they appear to have done a 180 on at the last minute

They most definitely did try with zero consent. It was a random text out of the blue. Wedding has been in the diary for sometime. It’s not a soap wedding with a days notice! Original plan hasn’t fallen through, they just decided it didn’t suit (them) anymore

Not especially elderly. No significant backstory like Great Auntie Maud travelling from Australia for her only great nieces wedding. Fiancé is doing some research into alternatives, lm not especially minded to. I think the least guests can do is get themselves there and back. Well, l always do anyway. I’m an undemanding wedding guest though

They haven't quite 'invited themselves' if they've asked and you've had the opportunity to refuse, but semantics aside, obviously no sane person would do that.

So, they didn’t ‘invite themselves’, they asked if they could stay and you said ‘no’. What’s the issue?

No but my FIL and SIL wanted to and even wanted a lift with me to the venue 😂 said absolutely not

Nobody just invites themselves without you indicating some kind of consent?
Said by someone who has the whole Mexican House Thief thread ahead of them. I’d love to read that thread again for the first time.

That thread was glorious! 😂

@QueSyrahSyrah of course they have invited themselves. The text wasn’t as blunt as “can l stay at yours?”. They said they had changed their mind about their previous plan of going home. Then announced they were planning to stay at our house and travel back to their house the next day.

Surely it’s only not inviting themselves if l say “do you want to stay at ours on the night of the wedding”. Which l didn’t and wouldn’t

It’s not sane l agree. They have a history of over-stepping. So if anyone would do this, then it’s them!

@RishisProudMum l missed that thread which is a shame as it sounds like a cracker!

I’m waiting for hints about why lm not driving and could l give lifts 🙄 Events like weddings, funerals, baby showers etc do seem to bring out the crazy in people!

When my parent and step parent married and I still lived at home - I invited myself to stay elsewhere!

Wasn’t going to face that awkwardness at breakfast!

@EL8888 in your 3rd post you said 'they asked by text'.

Asking to stay at yours isn't the same as announcing they will be staying at yours, so which is it?

One is batshit crazy, the other is rude and naive but quickly solved with a hard no.

TBF I'd have responded with a simple 'of course you can't stay at ours, it's our wedding night and we'll be shagging all over the house'.

Sorry, aunt Maud, how could we possibly swing naked on the chandeliers in the throes of newlywed passion with you sitting on the sofa?

The issue is it is rude and thoughtless. We will have just got married and spent the majority of the day with friends and family. Why would we want our wedding night to turn into housing waifs and strays? That’s in the main why l took no pains to justify the no to them

It was neither ASKING or WILL be staying at yours. It was basically l have decided to not go home the night of your wedding. I will now be heading home from your house before lunch on the Sunday. As far as l an aware they don’t have a Winnebago to park on our drive to stay in so logically they are staying in our house. This is the problem with text conversations. Im not sure if it was accident or design they did it by text

My text to them didn’t mention the sex swing we recently had installed in the spare room. Shame!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1735637-Have-you-ever-encountered-anyone-this-cheeky

Mexican house thief is on the thread entitled "Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky." It's a post on the thread.

Everyone HAS to read it. Seriously. It is crazy.

Thank you! Was feeling a bit down and I'm sure the classic will help.

I think the majority of posters will agree that it is thoughtless and rude. But the point is that you are chopping and changing your story over whether they just asked or invited themselves. Now I don’t think they should have asked either, but your first story sounds like they did and you said no, quite understandably. Let that be the end of it.

No, no, no and NO!!

I’ve never forgotten how DH caved and let people stay!