Split after 20 years - nothing but half the house - really?

[WeaponisingIncompetence]

I've been in a relationship for 20 plus years and have recently left because it was intolerable. But that is for another thread. We have a 13 yo son and I was always primary carer - SAHM until he started nursery at nearly 3 then changed my work so I could take him to and pick up from school. Also only working during term times so was at home for all school holidays and half terms.

We own the house 50% 50% so I feel secure with that but am borrowing money from family for rent until I can access this money. I am now in my late 50s and though I have my own business I have a very low income with no prospect of that changing much. Meanwhile he is in the high tax bracket (as he was able to grow his career) though I don't know how much because he never thought this was my business. He bought other properties for 'our' pension... I have no pension and no other assets. He will continue being a high earner. Our agreed 'temporary' arrangement is that we have custody 50/50 (week on, week off) even though he works normal hours and sometimes leaves our son on his own from after school. I only have evidence of this twice but I think it's now all the time. At first he was leaving work early everyday but he couldn't sustain this. My son doesn't talk about my ex to me and I won't ask him to. I presume it goes the other way too.

I believe our son would be better off primarily with me and desperately want him with me but he will not want to choose and my ex would never want to be seen as a part time Dad. Not good for his view of himself. I'm not sure how I am going to fight this or if I can/want to put my son through that...?

I believe and have it from a good solicitor that I am not entitled to anything other than half the house as we were never married. Here's my question...Does anyone have any experience of this NOT being the case? My friends have encouraged me to ask here and say I need to try and get more than just the house! The initial solicitors advice may have been because I said I didn't WANT anything else, but reality is hitting. Thank you for any help!

My mother was married to my father and still ended up in a unholy mess when the marriage ended. My father left the minute my brother turned 18...my mother hadn't worked in 20 years. My father had earnt a lot of money over the course of their marriage, but they both spent it as fast as he earned it...they had no pensions, no savings and had only owned the family home for about 5 years when they split. This was back in the late 80s when mortgage interest rates were at their highest, the housing market was stagnant and there was hardly any equity in the house.

My mother was forced to get paid employment when my father left...she fought having the house sold for nearly 3 years...in that time not a penny was paid towards the mortgage. The house sold quickly, but the bank seized most of the equity to cover fees etc. Court was a rude awakening for my mother...she thought the court would 'punish' my father for leaving her for another woman by letting her keep the house, even though all of her children were now over 18. Of course that didn't happen. My mother did end up with most of what was left, and there was a court order stating that my father 'owed' her at least the same amount again. He promptly disappeared off the face of the earth. My mother even went as far as hiring a private investigator through her solicitor to try and find him, to no avail.

That was 30 years ago. My father would now be 75, if he's still alive (I've not seen him in that whole time, I don't even know where he is). My mother never got another penny out of him. The worst thing she ever did was not going back to work the minute my brother was in school. She expected (and still does) that my father owed her financial support for the rest of her life because she'd had children...

I'm sorry OP, you are in an even worse position than my mother was.

So have I

women now in their 70s and 80s council pay a reduced married woman stamp but for those in 59s always an expectation to pay i ti a full pension

Ii