Does anybody have a perfect DP?

[crumpetswithjam]

Reading a few threads this morning has just got me thinking about love, and how we hold onto it.

I'm not perfect by a loooong stretch. I'm short, stubby, stubborn and tenacious. I'm autistic. I have a few health conditions that limit my life in certain ways. I struggle with my mental health. I struggle socially. I'm blunt.

My DH is awkward, obsessive about certain things, messy, forgetful (has ADHD, so not his fault) and is an alcoholic in recovery. He sometimes loses sight of what's important because he gets whipped up in events.

Many of these traits in either of us would result in a LTB if we spoke about them on here.

I love him. I couldn't be without him. And I know he feels that same about me. Even when he's not here, and he WFH a lot, we are texting each other little snippets of things, or jokes or things we think the other one will like. We communicate so well, especially about the children, and we are a real team. We take care every day to make our home and loving and safe place. We work at it. Our children are happy.

We know neither of us is perfect, but who is?

I wonder if we just have lower standards or if, in real life, not MN forum life, everybody is just a bit messy and muddling through.

Hell no! My husband is introverted to the extent where we can’t really socialise as a friendship group or an extended family group as he’s too far out of his depth and comfort zone, he goes painfully quiet and you can see the suffering he is going through, whereas I’m an extrovert and love being around people so go alone most of the time, we go out as a couple all the time but he’s struggles anymore than just us! BUT we are an equal partnership, we treat each other well, love each other and there’s no one else I could be married to and he feels the same to! We both aren’t perfect but perfect for each other

😂❤️

This is it!
No one is perfect.
Believing someone is, is very dangerous I believe. What happens when they inevitably make a mistake? They are human after all.
My DH used to occasionally say it to me. It made me really uncomfortable. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to be.
My DH is a good man, husband and father.
I love him very much.
He’s also stubborn, a bit of a drama queen sometimes and never seems to be able to remember stuff unless it is directly connected to him.
He often drives me nuts.

My dh is perfect. (Apart from his hoarder disorder). However, I wake up in the night in terror lest something should happen to him.

Life without my dh would be pretty much meaningless.

I think the same with kindness added to the respect. 30 years in and I don't even think perfection is that important. You never seek perfection in family, friends, work colleagues or anywhere else in your life but for some reason some people have impossibly high expectations for their partners. I think you find your own happiness and then a strong life partnership compliments and enhances this and can result in genuinely life changing experiences like having children together. But partnership is never going to be perfect as you don't even know what that is going to be at any stage.
But days when everything seems against you and your partner seems to be the only one who really gets it, you really do think your partner is perfect for you. Not perfect, but perfect for you.

@crumpetswithjam
You could almost be my twin! I'm almost exactly the same:

I'm not perfect by a loooong stretch. I'm short, stubby, stubborn and tenacious. I'm autistic. (No, but I have traits) I have a few health conditions that limit my life in certain ways. I struggle with my mental health. (No)I struggle socially. (No)I'm blunt.

Yes to most of the above.

Whereas, my Dh is almost perfect - irritatingly so. He's good at almost everything (apart from hanging wallpaper which is ok because I don't like wallpaper). He can fix anything. He's loving and caring and a great husband and a good boss. He's quite a sucker which I find irritating and he can be quite controlling but I'm no shrinking violet and I don't let him get away with anything. He's a diamond. I was lucky to meet him.

My mum who I have a very close relationship with is equally amazing, there is literally nothing wrong with the woman. there's nothing she can't do and she's literally amazing : caring and loving. the only thing that pisses me off is it now she's finished with her three kids she seems to have twee ideas and have doilies and loo roll holders etc, which makes me cringe but if that's the only thing wrong with her I think that's pretty good.

When you are a strong personality you are often attracted to similar people. I couldn't cope with anyone weak and pathetic, who didn't pull their weight. it would not interest me and I never would've married them.

DP is wonderful - seemingly endlessly patient, gentle, practical, loves to keep things tidy, an incredible cook. Also, tall and hot and athletic. I couldn't ask for anything more.

I'm still fairly sure I could get an entire thread of LTBs if I posted about him in a certain way. He's not ambitious in terms of career or salary despite an Oxbridge degree (he has a good job but no interest in climbing further up the ladder). This is a huge positive to me but from what I read on here, it's firmly LTB territory if a man isn't maximising his earning potential. He also smokes weed, need I say more - I can sense the vapours from here. Oh, and he doesn't drive!

Fairly sure any objective description of me would have MN screaming LTB even more though. Party girl who hasn't really grown up, domestically lacking slattern etc. Also don't drive.

I've never seen LTB for being short, stubby and blunt.

Pretty much perfect - to me that is
No one's perfect don't get me wrong but yeah my DH pretty much close to to x

It certainly feels like everyone apart from my DP and myself are perfect when reading the threads here 😂
There are things that annoy me in DP and vice versa but that’s because we both have our flaws, and because everyone’s different. I won’t LTB for these…if I did, I’d just have to LTnextB for other minor annoyances. I’ve literally seen people on here saying LTB for using the word ‘yummy’, for wearing their backpack too low, and for using an emoji. If DP and I had set the bar that high for each other we’d never had made it past the first week. I’m more than happy with us being two not perfect people and accepting and loving each other despite our flaws.

It certainly feels like everyone apart from my DP and myself are perfect when reading the threads here 😂

Oh God no. My dp is impossible at times. But he is my world. I'd be lost without him.

I'm married to the best guy in the world - for me! He's my best friend and my biggest champion. I still miss him when I'm not with him and I look forward to coming home to him.
We operate as a team in everything we do and I feel loved every single day.

Yes. He is perfect.

He is aware. I spoke to him around the time of that thread. His support has been invaluable.