Is online dating like shopping in a clearance section?

[Heytheredeliah]

A post on here a while ago said that online dating is like shopping in a clearance section. Basically that the people on there where like the things the other people hadn't chosen
What does everyone else think about this?

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

*were not where

There are genuine people on them, but also a lot of weirdos. I've met some nice people from dating apps, but it's always worth bearing in mind that you don't know people's intentions etc. Take it all with a pinch of salt, basically.

There’s a meme I’ve seen a few times that said OLD in your 30s+ is like going to a dump and trying to find the least broken and disgusting thing 😄
No experience of it myself but it does seem like swimming against the tide to find a profile that’s isn’t crap, and someone who actually wants to date and can communicate. And then you mightn’t even like each other in person.

(No, before anyone whines at me, I did not make the meme, nor do I think online dating profiles are broken or disgusting)

Re online dating in general, biggest issue for women is being bombarded with sex pests. I'm not using any right now but some of the stuff men are happy to send is just 🤢

I haven't liked a single man on a dating app I downloaded. Some came close, but I mostly found them unattractive. Maybe they think the same of me, who knows.

I read an article a while ago that compared it to rifling through a rubbish bin or a big box of second hand clothes .

I tried it in my 30s and this pretty much summed it up.

I think people's standards and boundaries ae eroded by old.

I think people accept things they wouldn't accept from someone they met irl.

I think it's a dreadful way to meet someone. I think there are decent people on there but everyone who is doing it thinks they are one of the decent people 🤷🏻‍♀️

Almost every happy couple I know who met in the last decade met online. It’s also true that there are plenty of weirdos but isn’t that true of every pub or hobby group? There must be some normal people who find each other.

I know one friend who was hooked on OLD and she was treated so poorly by about 6 consecutive blokes over 10 years or so.
She finally met a new bloke through OLD and now they're engaged to be married after knowing eachother 6 months.
So I am only hopeful for her!

I guess it's like finding a needle in a haystack but some get lucky?

I know a few lovely people who met online. The good ones seem snapped up immediately with the undateables left behind. It must be simple luck and timing. (I'm gay so a much smaller pool of women). That said, I met my last one online and they were a narcissist..
I've turned off the apps for now and doing things I enjoy in real life instead. Couldn't deal with feeling depressed every time I looked.

Yeah it’s a bin fire of misogyny and people with no respect for boundaries. The good uns get drowned out.

Well I met DH on OLD 8years ago now so n out sure what it says about the pair of us 😂 like to think we’re fairly decent people.

That’s such a good way to look at it 😂 there are some hidden gems though that people return sometimes!

I have used thr charity shop metaphor in the sense that there is real treasure to be found if you're prepared to be patient and persistent. Plenty of times you'll look and there'll be absolutely nothing for you, but you only need to be lucky once. If you go expecting to find exactly what you want on the first try, you're likely to be disappointed.

It's also true that the good ones don't tend to be on there for very long, so you've got to be quite systematic about checking out who is new before they get snapped up.

I met my husband OLD in the pre-Tinder age after around two years of sporadic dating.

Yes it is, lots of substandard rubbish with the occasional superb find, but you have to invest a lot of effort into searching through the cast offs.

OP I don't know

but that's a great title for a column, or basis for writing a comedy sketch.

I met DP on Tinder. I was only on it about a month. Maybe I just got lucky but if you are genuine and out there the chances are there are genuine men too.

I think it is reflective of normal life. Whenever you’ve worked in a big company, realistically, how many men did you think were boring/sleazy/jerks etc and how many men did you think were nice and you could be attracted to them?

Ditto going out. Out of all the 1000s of people I’ve met, I’ve only been attracted to a few and only been with a few.

Out of all my friends’ husbands there are only a couple who I would consider if they were single.

The same with online dating. You’re not supposed to click with loads of them.

But yes, there are also people of both sexes who are single for a very good reason.

Not sure, but can also be false advertising risks too, you never know if it's a honey trap, etc

For anyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of trying OLD, here is one delightful profile I snapped yesterday

Reader, I swiped left.

As a woman with glasses and a (not very severe!) fringe I fear I may not have been his type either!

I think OLD is more like interviewing for a job and equally as emotionless.

I think it's an offensive and hurtful generalisation.

I like this analogy!
I may be one of them as well ngl 😂