Is a narcissist ever nice?

[ducu]

For the last few months I've seen a lot of narcissistic traits in my DP. It has worried me and I've also been thinking he may be emotionally abusive. We have been together for 18 months.

It will feel like things are not good between us at all and I will feel miserable for possibly weeks at a time. And then overnight he will switch and be the caring, lovely nice person he was when we first got together.

He will be this great person for a few days, maybe weeks and then switch back to being patronising and moody almost overnight.

It leaves me wondering why he can't be the nice version of himself all the time. I know he has stress in his life like everyone else, and I sometimes feel like maybe I'm overreacting and giving him a hard time for being unpredictable in mood. But he has almost every trait of narcissism.

Is it common for narcissistic people to have periods of niceness? Or are they awful all the time?

Do you think they are consciously doing this? Or is it so much a part of their character it's what they do and a lack of remorse or self awareness is part of the make-up of a narcissist?

Yes. I'm sorry to tell you that, as a relationship develops over time, the devaluation phase gets longer and the hoovering shorter. For "well trained" (broken down) victims, hoovering can consist of little more than a pat on the bum or a cup of tea. Seen it so often on here