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Original poster

My date today. What annoyed you about a date?

51 replies

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 17:22

Cracking his hands every 2 minutes, was really loud! ( I asked him at the end why he did it, and he said his fingers get stiff, it's a habit! I said did it make them feel better, and he said yes!)
My first impression wasn't good, he made no eye contact for the first minute or two, and seemed quite cold! Waffled on about himself for the first 5 minutes. The conversation flowed a bit better afterwards but god he talked so much! I asked him several questions and commented on what he said, and he asked me 1! Seems a bit boastful too.
My gut says no to another date, he didn't seem nervous but maybe he was?

OP posts:
SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 22/10/2022 17:47

He’s annoying and self centred. Next!

I’m always quite pleased when they talk a lot as I’m quite reserved and worry about awkward silences but they do need to at least seem interested too.

I went on a date with a nice guy recently but he spent a very long time telling me a story about a precious date who had become obsessed with him and turned stalker. Think he liked the idea that he was irresistible a bit too much, and it sounded like a very well rehearsed story that he’d told 100 times before.

Most recent date is super handsome and seems to like me, but doesn’t really come up with ideas for dates. He’ll agree to a day and time but then it’s up to me to decide where/what to do. I’d like someone who takes the initiative tbh. Especially as he’s quite fussy!

yousexybugger · 22/10/2022 17:53

Nahh! He asked you one question? Interesting and interested he is definitely not. I don't personally hold any truck with monologuers. He's an adult. Even if dates make him nervous, he can plan a few questions in advance, compliment your outfit, see what you think of the week's news.

isthismylifenow · 22/10/2022 18:03

I have given up dating as I really can't be bothered.

My last date we met for a drink, but then he wanted a meal as well. I ordered a calamari salad and before it arrived he questioned me how I was going to eat it... I was a bit confused by the question and asked what he meant. He went on a rant about his last date ordering something and cutting each mouthful into tiny pieces so it took ages for her to finish the meal. So I said I said I thought I just ate normally. Get the salad and watched every mouthful I took. 🙄. Weirdo.

FireandBrimstone · 22/10/2022 18:16

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 17:22

Cracking his hands every 2 minutes, was really loud! ( I asked him at the end why he did it, and he said his fingers get stiff, it's a habit! I said did it make them feel better, and he said yes!)
My first impression wasn't good, he made no eye contact for the first minute or two, and seemed quite cold! Waffled on about himself for the first 5 minutes. The conversation flowed a bit better afterwards but god he talked so much! I asked him several questions and commented on what he said, and he asked me 1! Seems a bit boastful too.
My gut says no to another date, he didn't seem nervous but maybe he was?

Might be putting 2 and 2 together and making 5, and this isn't to try to influence a decision on whether you see them again or not, but just an observation. Some of the behaviour you describe, I recognise from someone I know who is autistic. The knuckle cracking - a sensory / pressure thing when they need reassurance; the lack of eye contact; the lack of awareness of not asking you anything.
Again - it's not going to be pertinent to your decision of whether to continue seeing them, but maybe worth reflecting on whether there are reasons for the behaviour?

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 18:26

@SteveHarringtonsChestHair it's annoying isn't it, yours sounded self centred too.

And maybe ask your new date to take the initiative more. Think we'd also complain if they took over all the time too! 😂

@yousexybugger yeah, they could at least make the effort and a good impression. Neither of us have text since to discuss the date, makes it easier I suppose!

@isthismylifenow that's what I'm like but before we met he gave the impression that he'd be interested. This happens with plenty of dates - the convo flows fine beforehand, but then when you get to meet it's all one sided. It's so important to meet them quickly isn't it?

Oh my god that's weird and rude!

@FireandBrimestone possibly. Do they do it more when nervous?

OP posts:
Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 18:29

I've been on so many dates but not where I wanted to leave instantly!

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 22/10/2022 18:39

I've been on some horrific dates.

One was where the guy was living with his mum and had never left. He tried to tell me it was normal to live with parents from birth to age 33... ummmm don't think so pal.

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 18:41

@bonzaitree wow! Are you still dating?

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 22/10/2022 18:44

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 18:41

@bonzaitree wow! Are you still dating?

No I have a lovely bf and we love together. He is a wonderful man. We met online dating so don't give up xx

Briandouglas · 22/10/2022 18:45

Last Christmas I took a girl ice skating (we are both women) thinking it would be cute and Pinterest-Christmassy - it was for the first half an hour then one broken arm and 5 hours in A and E later…. There was no second date

WeAreAllDead · 22/10/2022 18:47

The one who, just minutes after I arrived, when opened his wallet at the bar, and a bag of coke fell out. “Fancy a line later?”

It was the shortest date I’ve ever had. Walked straight out.

Bestcatmum · 22/10/2022 18:49

Anyonne who cracks their fingers, sniffs or spits is immediately out. In fact I'd have got up and left as soon as he started.

Badbaddogagain · 22/10/2022 18:53

He told me all immigrant males are rapists. I got up and left immediately, didn’t stop and think for a second - my feet just walked.

badassbaby · 22/10/2022 18:56

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 17:22

Cracking his hands every 2 minutes, was really loud! ( I asked him at the end why he did it, and he said his fingers get stiff, it's a habit! I said did it make them feel better, and he said yes!)
My first impression wasn't good, he made no eye contact for the first minute or two, and seemed quite cold! Waffled on about himself for the first 5 minutes. The conversation flowed a bit better afterwards but god he talked so much! I asked him several questions and commented on what he said, and he asked me 1! Seems a bit boastful too.
My gut says no to another date, he didn't seem nervous but maybe he was?

One had a really pronounced limp and had neglected to tell me about it.
Another told me he would never rent a house out to an Asian family...I told him he was racist and left.

ComeOnThenFanny · 22/10/2022 19:09

I went on a date once where the guy showed me a picture of his penis on his phone when I got back from the loo. So that was nice.

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 19:20

OMG there's some really worrying behaviour out there!

OP posts:
badassbaby · 22/10/2022 19:22

ComeOnThenFanny · 22/10/2022 19:09

I went on a date once where the guy showed me a picture of his penis on his phone when I got back from the loo. So that was nice.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lilimic79 · 22/10/2022 19:22

I went on a date with someone online once. When i got there realised he'd taken a very good picture for his profile.
Was polite and continued the date and when he went to the bar he thought it would be funny to message me saying "Hey i thought we were meeting at 7pm at boots? Where are you?".
Actually for a minute thought i'd ran into some random nutter and my date was still standing at boots waiting on me.
Funny enough, didn't see him again after that day.

badassbaby · 22/10/2022 19:30

Lilimic79 · 22/10/2022 19:22

I went on a date with someone online once. When i got there realised he'd taken a very good picture for his profile.
Was polite and continued the date and when he went to the bar he thought it would be funny to message me saying "Hey i thought we were meeting at 7pm at boots? Where are you?".
Actually for a minute thought i'd ran into some random nutter and my date was still standing at boots waiting on me.
Funny enough, didn't see him again after that day.

😂😂😂😂
I once went on a date where we were at the bar and we ordered drinks, he said he'd pay.
How nice.
He paid in 10p pieces which he counted out...took ages...then he dropped some...
The whole thing was excruciatingly embarrassing.
The barman looked at me with real pity in his eyes 😂😂😂😂
There was no second date.

LoveMyCats1 · 22/10/2022 19:33

I once went on a date and he said he would leave the tip. He called over the waiter and took his hand and said thanks for a lovely meal and slipped him a £1 coin. I was mortified.

isthismylifenow · 22/10/2022 19:34

ComeOnThenFanny · 22/10/2022 19:09

I went on a date once where the guy showed me a picture of his penis on his phone when I got back from the loo. So that was nice.

See, this is why I have given up on dating.

I bet im not the only one who wonders if there have always been this many odd folk around, or are they all surfacing from oddball city.

LoveMyCats1 · 22/10/2022 19:34

Leave £1 on the table but don't summon the guy over.

badassbaby · 22/10/2022 19:38

LoveMyCats1 · 22/10/2022 19:34

Leave £1 on the table but don't summon the guy over.

Omg I would have died! 😑

ComeOnThenFanny · 22/10/2022 19:41

@isthismylifenow this was about 20 years ago! Nothing changes. They still all think we will become overwhelmed at the mere sight of the All Powerful Penis 🙄

Clevererthanyou · 22/10/2022 19:48

@badassbaby does a potential partner have an obligation to disclose a disability or bodily issue? Have you disclosed every malady or ailment that you have ever suffered to every date or potential new friend? Seriously question.