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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My date today. What annoyed you about a date?

51 replies

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 17:22

Cracking his hands every 2 minutes, was really loud! ( I asked him at the end why he did it, and he said his fingers get stiff, it's a habit! I said did it make them feel better, and he said yes!)
My first impression wasn't good, he made no eye contact for the first minute or two, and seemed quite cold! Waffled on about himself for the first 5 minutes. The conversation flowed a bit better afterwards but god he talked so much! I asked him several questions and commented on what he said, and he asked me 1! Seems a bit boastful too.
My gut says no to another date, he didn't seem nervous but maybe he was?

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Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 19:52

@Clevererthanyou yeah i thought that too! @badassbaby what was wrong with his leg?

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badassbaby · 22/10/2022 19:53

Clevererthanyou · 22/10/2022 19:48

@badassbaby does a potential partner have an obligation to disclose a disability or bodily issue? Have you disclosed every malady or ailment that you have ever suffered to every date or potential new friend? Seriously question.

See if I had a disability I would 100 percent mention it before the date.
The fact he didn't I found disingenuous.
He actually limped with one leg and had a rolling gait with the other leg, so it was very pronounced.
That in itself wouldn't necessarily have put me off him, it was the fact he hadn't mentioned it.
He was also boring as fuck though 😂

Marineboy67 · 22/10/2022 19:55

I wouldn't over analyse it , it's a numbers game...upwards and onwards!

WeAreAllDead · 22/10/2022 19:56

I was raised by a coke addict, so drugs of any form a very hard no from me.

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 19:59

I have health conditions that I never mention on a first date. If I feel that it could potentially go somewhere then I mention it. It doesn't define me and the important thing is getting to know someone's personality on the first date not concentrating on the less important things first.

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BeatriceDalle · 22/10/2022 20:00

I was on a date yesterday. He was much shorter than he’d told me. He bored the pants off me and I couldn’t wait to leave as soon as I had drunk my drink. I’m over dating apps, am gonna stick with having a special friend just for sex.

badassbaby · 22/10/2022 20:02

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 19:59

I have health conditions that I never mention on a first date. If I feel that it could potentially go somewhere then I mention it. It doesn't define me and the important thing is getting to know someone's personality on the first date not concentrating on the less important things first.

Ok.
You do you.
I'll do me.

WeAreAllDead · 22/10/2022 20:36

I have CPTSD and ADHD, there is not a chance I would mention either of those things to a stranger, date or not.

Notaboutthebass · 22/10/2022 20:45

@WeAreAllDead hope you are able to manage things well. I can tell quite quickly after meeting someone if they are the type to understand these things, before even telling them.

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FridayNightWinner · 22/10/2022 20:47

Met a guy online, he looked nothing like his photos. Went for a drink but then he decided he wanted food.. I didn't. He sat there and ate bbq ribs in the most disgusting manner. Slurping and chomping. I had only ordered a lemonade... He had the audacity to ask me to pay towards the bill for my lemonade. I was shocked. 😅. He then insisted on walking me to the station and tried to kiss me. I've never walked off faster 😅The twat wanted a second date.. I was like... Bye now.

Lostoldusername · 22/10/2022 21:20

I was chatting to someone online and we agreed to go out.
He sent me a picture of his passport to 'prove' who he was, asked me if I thought my kids would like him and then when I said I wasn't able to meet up, I got a message from him 3 weeks later out of the blue to say he hoped I found happiness as I really deserved it....
I hadn't even met the guy and we had only been speaking a week!

Vonsprocker · 22/10/2022 21:30

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

bonzaitree · 22/10/2022 22:10

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This is assault. Next time call the police.

Notaboutthebass · 23/10/2022 13:34

@FridayNightWinner ewwwww! Where do these men come from?!!!
@Vonsprocker that's discusting. Similar happened to me, difference is I had kissed him, he put my hand on his stiffie through his jeans in the pub car park. I never asked him to do that. I nearly reported him.

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Notaboutthebass · 23/10/2022 13:41

*disgusting!

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MaxTalk · 23/10/2022 13:42

Presume he willl

Notaboutthebass · 23/10/2022 14:04

@MaxTalk eh?

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EBearhug · 23/10/2022 14:22

Messaged me just before the date to say he didn't like the look of the cafe we'd agreed to meet at, so could I meet him at the corner of the street, so we could discuss where to go. (It was a basic greasy spoon - it wasn't at all posh, but it had tables and chairs and was clean, and we could have sat there chatting, which is the main requirement of a firat date.)

So I met him outside, where he was wearing an anorak on one of the hottest days this summer, which has been the hottest summer ever.

We walked round the block, and he kept trying to touch my arm and back, and them snatching his hand away, seeming to remember he wasn't meant to. Then he asked if I minded, and I said I wasn't comfortable, so he said he always respected women's space, and I thought, "not till I told you to stop, you didn't."

In the pub we ended up in, he thanked me for looking like my photo. He hypocritically admitted his were a few years old. Then he told me about all the terrible dates he'd been on ("and here's another," I was thinking, "and there's one common factor...") I also listened to him talking about his dead girlfriend who had died two years before (and IMO, he needed to take more time grieving.) He had learnt to stop trying to touch me, but wouldn't meet my eye at all.

And after about 45 minutes, he said, "right, I'll be going now," picked up his things and walked out, without looking back.

So I went on to a friend's party and snagged a bloke I met there (and whom I've seen a few times since.) So it turned out not to be all bad...

Notaboutthebass · 23/10/2022 15:11

@EBearhug WTF! Sounded like he just needed a confidence boost 🤔😥

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neilyoungismyhero · 23/10/2022 15:20

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I would like to imagine I would move the table back towards me and expose! what was going on but not sure I would have...vile creature.

MrsTruss · 23/10/2022 15:27

I once had a date with a man with a pronounced limp and he was really old looking for his age and was just bloody boring. He baked bread too and would send me a pic of each one.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/10/2022 16:01

badassbaby · 22/10/2022 19:30

😂😂😂😂
I once went on a date where we were at the bar and we ordered drinks, he said he'd pay.
How nice.
He paid in 10p pieces which he counted out...took ages...then he dropped some...
The whole thing was excruciatingly embarrassing.
The barman looked at me with real pity in his eyes 😂😂😂😂
There was no second date.

Oh this reminds me of a guy I had been dating for a few months and his boss had told him to take me out for a meal (I think his boss knew he was tight!) He took me to wagamamas, orders the cheapest thing, said we couldn't order an alcoholic drink.

Then we went to a different bar and produced a fistful of coins from his pocket, said "what can we get with that then?" And I almost died as he started poking through the coins to tot it all up and a group of lads also gave me the Pity eyes and a look if awe at what my date was doing.
It's soooo embarrassing. Don't know why I continued to date him

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/10/2022 16:02

But then I met my husband so I gave old tight fists the boot!

EBearhug · 23/10/2022 16:22

Notaboutthebass · 23/10/2022 15:11

@EBearhug WTF! Sounded like he just needed a confidence boost 🤔😥

Nah, he was creepy and not over his dead girlfriend. I gave my best effort to give him a chance, but some people just aren't up to it. I don't think I'd have ever been able to relax with him, too many things he didn't think were okay.

Vickimf · 24/10/2022 12:28

I feel like I should comment on this due to what I have just read. From my previous posts you can see I have explained on my experiences of dating and that I have a limp. I always clearly let people know which is my choice.

A few of you obviously think that means people are beneath you for that reason which is a shame but obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion.

On the flip side I have sat opposite people who you would perceive has perfect but have being boring shallow and narcissistic. So your date my have thought the same.

No one knows what could happen in the future it’s only takes an accident or illness for situations to change.