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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does he like me?

28 replies

Burntcoffee · 21/10/2022 20:58

I have a little crush on an older guy at work and today in the break room I was chatting with him and some other colleagues. I mentioned that I found an older celebrity quite attractive and the guy I like laughed and said 'maybe there's chance for me yet' and then left the room! While I haven't given much context, do you think he likes me or was just joking around?

OP posts:
WhiteChocMocha · 21/10/2022 21:11

Erm... He was just joking around, I wouldn't take it too seriously. It's just work banter.

As a presumably quite an interesting, sociable, good-looking [enter any other qualities you may have] woman, sure that a fair few guys find you attractive. Guys are a lot more open to some flirtation/ attention given half the chance.

However if you're both single and there seems to be chemistry, you could always look at exploring it a bit further... If it's just a litte silly crush and you aren't single though... Just take the compliment and move on!

Pinkbonbon · 21/10/2022 23:10

Why not just qsk him for ououfor a meal after work. If he says no thanks then you have your answer. 'He Brian, I think you seem like a pretty interesting bloke, would you like to go and grab dinner some time?'. Done.

Can't be asked with all the 'does he , doesn't he?' bs. We aren't 12. Just ask and find out. Be an adult.

Vaccine001 · 21/10/2022 23:12

I'd say yes he does want you 😁

JustKittenAround · 22/10/2022 01:56

Take it as joking. If he really want to make a move he will. Men don’t usually leave women guessing.

please don’t date anyone from work though, it’s messy …. I know from experience… it is really a very bad idea.

Onthemaintrunkline · 22/10/2022 03:26

He’s joking around.

ParentallyUnprepared · 22/10/2022 04:22

I'd take that to mean that he's saying there might be someone out there that finds him attractive if there's someone out there that finds that celebrity attractive.

I don't think he meant you in particular.

strawberriesplease · 22/10/2022 05:01

It's got potential and could be worth exploring.

I'm not for the 'just ask him out and you'll know' school. Part of the fun is the dance of getting to know someone.

However, have to ask. Is he single? I'm presuming you are?

Billylilly · 22/10/2022 06:06

I think it’s got potential!

Burntcoffee · 22/10/2022 06:56

Ok so we've been friends a little while and when we met I wasn't single. There's a big age gap and a few months ago when I didnt really see him like that, I did mention in passing that work relationships are never a good idea. Recently though I'm thinking about him a lot. He doesn't really work alongside me as such but does come to my building daily. Another colleague said to me once 'his eyes just light up whenever he sees you' but I'm not so sure about that!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/10/2022 07:04

Stick with your original feelings - work relationships aren't a good idea. Just enjoy the harmless flirtation.

dudsville · 22/10/2022 07:17

When we fancy someone we really focus on all the minute aspects of their behaviour. A man at work occasionally makes comments to me that could be construed as signs he likes me, if i was so inclined, iyswim, not actual flirting just ransom statements. You need more to go on, this alone isn't evidence.

strawberriesplease · 22/10/2022 07:19

Enjoy the crush and the tingles it brings. If it develops into something more, I'd go for it. Life is too short. He doesn't work directly with you so fine.

But

Is he married?

Burntcoffee · 22/10/2022 08:03

Not married though neither of us have ever been very forthcoming about our relationship status. He mentioned to me recently that he was seeing someone earlier this year but it didn't work out - I had no idea that was going on at the time. We

OP posts:
WhiteChocMocha · 22/10/2022 08:04

I’m curious now, what sort of age gap are we talking? And does he look/ act his age?

Burntcoffee · 22/10/2022 08:05

Oops pressed post too early..

We talk about everything else but relationships (mainly music and food 😅)

Yeah maybe I just need to enjoy the tingly feeling. He once said after I'd had a tough day that I was 'lovely, inside and out' and I guess it's just a boost hearing stuff like that from an attractive older guy.

OP posts:
Burntcoffee · 22/10/2022 08:07

18 years @WhiteChocMocha people are often very surprised that he's in his late 40s. He definitely acts/looks younger.

OP posts:
OnTheBrinkOfChange · 22/10/2022 08:07

I'm not a fan of big age gaps. How much older than you is he? How old are you?

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 22/10/2022 08:08

So you are around 30 and he is around 48?

Burntcoffee · 22/10/2022 08:09

Correct @OnTheBrinkOfChange

OP posts:
WhiteChocMocha · 22/10/2022 08:30

I’d enjoy just enjoy the tingly feeling. It’s fun having a crush and flirt but not everything needs to become a thing.

18 years is quite a bit and would only consider it more seriously if there’s very big feelings involved. I’m in an age gap relationship myself so not saying it lightly.

Once you give in to something a bit more complicated from the outset even a little, it can become unexpectedly real and involved quite quickly.

strawberriesplease · 22/10/2022 08:55

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 22/10/2022 08:08

So you are around 30 and he is around 48?

That's fine. If you're attracted to each other then it's all fine.

Good luck. Excited for you. That falling for someone and wondering if they feel the same feeling is the best.

Robin233 · 22/10/2022 09:49

You could casually say,
'Oh another lonely Saturday on my own ha ha ' in a jokey way , and see if he offers you some company ?

Stars71 · 22/10/2022 22:47

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 22/10/2022 08:07

I'm not a fan of big age gaps. How much older than you is he? How old are you?

Just because you're not a big fan of age gaps, doesn't mean the OP should feel.the same.

bonzaitree · 22/10/2022 22:52

If you aren't sure he doesn't really like you.

When men want you, they don't hold back.

SprinkleOfSunak · 22/10/2022 23:30

Go for it!

To me, it sounds like he likes you, but as he’s older he’s probably more reluctant to make a serious move on you for fear of rejection, and is instead making lots of lovely and humorous comments in reference to you instead.