Aside from being a part-time working parent I spent most of my kids' early years being the primary parent here for them (fitting work around school hours, etc). Now that they're older and obviously have their own busy lives, it frees me up a bit to rediscover new interests and spend time with friends.
The rediscovering new interests I have absolutely no problem with, I'm still working, taking up some study, taking up golf, I've started doing a bit of volunteering and also starting to do my family history - things I have been wanting to do but didn't when kids were younger. Don't think i'll ever run out of things 'to do', and then there's also travelling with DH one day etc
The problem I have is with friendships with other mums around my age. I'm 45, of course many of us are still working in some capacity, but I feel like everything has become either a 'like' on FB, or a brief comment on Instagram or that most of my friendships just morphed into text messaging. Is this what a lot of friendships are now? I don't think it's quality friendship. I would say a bit before covid and once the worst of covid was over, I'm the one who's been initiating catching up (eg, coffee, walk, dinner) and TBH if I didn't make an effort I really doubt they would. Almost a month ago I stopped texting a friend who I've had for over a decade, to see if they would text - they haven't yet. It really hurts but I've decided not to bother.
I'm really actually very tired of being always the one reaching out and making an effort. I'm not an extrovert (when I'm with 1-4 close acquaintances I am very chatty, but hate being life of the party), so I've never been someone with a large social circle, but those I did have I really valued, am a loyal and generous friend, listen more than I talk, always listen to their problems and offer an empathetic ear, have a good laugh .
But basically lately other than my direct family, it hit me today that none of my friends have reached out to say hi, ask to go for a coffee, or even just say how're things with you? I always make an effort and wonder why is it that they don't for me? All my life I've been the nice, kind, a bit quieter one but of course when you're not naturally outgoing that makes it harder to cultivate lots of friends.
I also know I spent lots of time investing in parenting my kids and also moved cities with DH, so two close friends who are great and I've known almost all my life are in different states (we catch up 1-2 times/year). But these things haven't obviously helped.
Sorry for this long vent just wondering if anyone else has been lacking in quality girlfriends lately.. and wondering if I should just not text these few 'friends' I have for a while because I'm pretty over being taken for granted.