Husbands got really bad anger

[Beastlybeautiful]

My husbands an amazing amazing man but when he gets angry it's like he's a completely different person. He starts swearing breaking things shouting and screaming After he gets really pissed at himself and hates himself for being like that. He also gives suicide threats everytime we have arguments where he's really angry. It's sad because he's so amazing, loving caring, helps every night even after 12 hour shifts with cooking cleaning and taking care of my baby. Says he loves me everything an ideal husband does but I feel as though his anger ruins all of his good deeds

Hi OP

Another perspective for you. I was in a similar situation. My husband lost his temper often and spectacularly, he had a long history of doing that with others too.

Anyhow he was otherwise great, and always remorseful, it got to make or break for me and he sought help. He is now on an anti depressant and it has been transformative.

Before the make or break point I had also developed techniques to manage it, I would grab my stuff and walk out the door leaving him to rant. I had learned to treat it like water off a ducks back.

We are still together, many years later, but I resent a lot about those years and I can't forgive. That has weakened our relationship I think, but we are generally happy, it's what happened back then.

I think my husband wasn't well and needed help. I made a choice to stay and I believe that having two parents together was perhaps the right choice in the longer term for my son - with the proviso that it's really hard to call it as I accept that seeing that behaviour at a young age from a parent is not a good thing at all.

Oh just to add, I had made a decision to go, had ducks in a row etc. I wasn't waiting around forever. My husband read the room on that I think and focused on resolving it through therapy/drugs which did the trick. But things would have been different if there hadn't been fairly quick improvement which happened in a few weeks with ani depressants.

Responding after a while (2 years lol). He sought relationship counselling 2 years ago and never showed this side of himself again. He is genuinely the best father and husband I can ask for!

Op I am glad to hear your update.

Because this "After he gets really pissed at himself and hates himself for being like that. He also gives suicide threats everytime we have arguments where he's really angry" really sounded like he was grooming you.

Do you find yourself trying to not make him angry?

Hi OP, I am so glad to hear your update. When I posted having had a similar experience I was worried that I was perhaps giving false hope. It's a tough call, to stick around when someone is behaving like that because really, we should have zero tolerance for that sort of behaviour around a child and I worry that the right answer in these circumstances is always LTB.

Around a decade on from the anger I described in my husband, there is peace and harmony still. We are a team and a happy family.

I wish you the same.

Make no bones about it, your baby WILL be listening to this.

OP your husband is not an 'amazing man'...

He is an aggressive and manipulative individual with some serious issues and he is doing nothing about them.

You are also unreasonable to let your child grow up in this environment.

Frankly I would get yourself out of there as quickly as you can.