OnlyFans

[OnlyDivorce]

Found husband has subscribed to OnlyFans... just wanting to know how I go about seeing if he's paid or paying for anything?
Account looks blank and empty of any subscriptions! I'm wondering if he signed up to have a look at what's on there but changed his mind or can you delete stuff.
I've changed the password so he may figure out that I've located it.

Just ask - obviously the main thing people go on there for is porn etc, but there's also gaming stuff on there too which a few of my (female) friends subscribe to. Does he play Xbox or computer games for example? I'd be horrified if my partner had an account without telling me though, especially if it was something "innocent" he was watching

Yes, that would be my best guess

But like I asked, there's nothing on there. The account is blank. Which is why I asked about could you have a completely blank profile and still be using it?
If he was looking up gardening tips, he'd be subscribed to channels surely?

I don't know much about OF but wonder if there is a way to see when the account was created? First email that says welcome to OF type of thing.

You could look at bank statements and see if there are any charges for it on there.

Op, I was in your position with my now exH. Many many years ago. Before we even got married (I know, I know) and before OnlyFans was even a thing. He was explicitly chatting with other women on an adult chat site. I suspected something was up and I did find out exactly what he was doing, much like you're doing now. I got a hunch, and I was right.

He continued, on and off, for a further 5 years (including a time I was in hospital) and every time I believed him when he said he'd stop. I wish I'd just stayed gone the first time I found out tbh (except I wouldn't have my kids), because it's heartbreaking to know you mean so little to someone, and how easily they can lie.

There may be an innocent explanation but it's unlikely, imo. If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck etc etc

My mum left 6 year old me in a shop to go shag her other man.

Doesn't mean all mothers are neglectful. Or all women. Or the shop made her do it. It just means she made choices for her as an individual that I find unfathomable as do many other people.

Ur husband may be looking at porn. He may not be. I think I have an only fans account. Never paid for anything on there and joined for content on a female comedian I'd seen on tiktok and thought was really good.

OP you seem to be looking for reasons to be mad with your oh. Don't put yourself through the stress. If you're unhappy, leave. If you're not, don't. You've convinced yourself that instead of working at his job, he's ogling naked women doing dirty things all day. He very well may be. He also may not be, but you don't seem to care so much for that possibility. However as it stands you are putting yourself through a lot of angst for something you don't know. It's not worth it. If you don't trust him, don't be with him and let yourself be happier

Do you think this is healthy, OP? Your behaviour? Regardless of his behaviour?

I get that you are angry and upset. I would be too in your position.
It's ok to be angry and upset.
You also sound that you feel utterly taken for granted and that your relationship isn't fulfilling.
Often women with small child do stay in these type of relationships and I'm not sure why you are getting grief on here from other posters.
Most of us have been in shit/boring relationships and taken our time leaving them.

But if he's using it for porn or to look at/interact with other women (or men) then surely your same logic still applies??

I thought it was obvious I was being sarcastic.
What person in their right mind would do that?

Not really

He'd delete it but if it was gardening then he'd not need to delete any as it would be innocent.
Who knows what's happened

It must just be nice to have such time to access such sites, potentially.
But yes to the previous poster, I just feel taken advantage of.

He may not have deleted a thing. He may have just opened an account and not gave actually subscribed to anything,

he may not of actually ''signed up'' lots of websites now have a very easy ''sign in via gmail/apple/etc'' and if password is saved to browser then its easy just to get rid of the annoying pop up.

He has obviously been on but hasn't subscribed and hasn't liked/followed anything. let it pass. Maybe he went on and then realised he had to pay and thought fuck that.

Make a fake account yourself, see what kind of information it asks you and what your profile looks like before viewing/subscribing and after.
Then, compare it with husbands account before confronting him so that if he is bullshitting you are prepared and unable to be fobbed off!

Takes all sorts.

Well I asked him and it was a reasonable explanation. .

You can access for free, see a a lot of photos of some creators (the people who ate on there) nothing exciting or particularly dynamic as a rule. You then pay for the private galleries and videos ( explicit) or potentially interactions. These can cost huge sums for some creators, others not.

It's absolutley possible someone would log on to see what it was about. Realise almost all content was subscription barred and give up.

Card payments might show Fenix on the statement not only Fans as its the company not the tradename.
Huh.

To add there ate also a fair nber of non serial accounts on Only Fans.the ones with the biggest followers numbers ave nothing sexual at all and are full of strange lifestyle tips.
So it has a ting of truth in it.
You could always both have a SM ban and just use facial websites lie bbc or rhs for gardening etc.

@OnlyDivorce glad to hear and hope your mind is now at rest

Most OF payments if not all are done via Genix International.

Do you know what content he’s actually looking at? Despite what most people think OF is not a complete porn website.
also…..is he maybe interested in something that’s a long held fantasy/fetish that you would be unwilling or unable to fulfil?.

we are constantly told that we need to discuss sex and fantasies, but what if his is a bit ‘off the wall’ and you’d really not be in to it?….say, human baby, furry, human pony, doll love, macrophilia…..
doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, but he could well be embarrassed that you’d think he was weird or a pervert……most of these fantasies start in young age and are carried through life and never shared with a partner as the person feels they are somehow weird or shameful.

Sorry FENIX international. not sure why my phone changed it

Excellent, sensible, advice here. My late husband was a Psychiatrist. I learned a lot more about the ubiquity of sexual kinks than I wanted to. When he tells you that his OF predilections have, ' nothing to do with you', believe him.He may be trying to protect you. More women need to ' put their big girl pants on' where male sexuality is concerned imo.