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Original poster

Long Distance Relationship…2 Young Kids

32 replies

Chocchoc88 · 09/10/2022 12:39

So I’ve met someone who lives 400 miles away (1hr flight or a 4 hour drive basically). We’ve been seeing each other for about 4 months.

Totally, madly in love with each other, he has adult kids who I’ve met and built a decent relationship with, we see each other every weekend and get on great, we make each other so happy and now wanting to talk about seeing each other more with the goal being to live together However. I have a 2yo and a 1yo who he’s met and brilliant with, but I’m petrified of telling their dad (my ex) about the distance and no idea how to take things further logistically with kids of this age. My ex is a fantastic dad, sees the kids a lot, usually has them of a weekend but we are pretty flexible with each other.

I just don’t know what to do. Of course I want the kids dad to still see his kids as much as possible, do I ‘base’ them here or there? Preschool/school is round the corner and trying to work out what the best situation for the kids is, first and foremost!? My area and his area are both great places to raise kids (probably his area is better) but I just don’t know how to please everybody. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 09/10/2022 12:47

Youve been seeing this long-distance bloke for 16 weeks is that right? You have two babies? You’re thinking of moving them 400miles away to live with this new chap you’ve just met and are getting to know?
Righto!

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:48

However. I have a 2yo and a 1yo who he’s met and brilliant with

wtf?

he’s met them. You only met him 4 months ago and he lived 400 miles away. Bloody hell.

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:49

Totally, madly in love with each other, he has adult kids who I’ve met and built a decent relationship with,

you sound unhinged op.

why don’t you move. And leave your babies with your ex?

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:51

And you don’t have a 1 year old.

you have a less than 6 month old.

considering you posted this less than a year ago

Chocchoc88 · 11/10/2021 20:20
Hi all!

Had an 11 week scan so I know these things aren’t accurate then, I have a 14 month old baby boy, wondering what you all think of this baby’s gender? Due April 2022

MuckyPlucky · 09/10/2022 12:55

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:51

And you don’t have a 1 year old.

you have a less than 6 month old.

considering you posted this less than a year ago

Chocchoc88 · 11/10/2021 20:20
Hi all!

Had an 11 week scan so I know these things aren’t accurate then, I have a 14 month old baby boy, wondering what you all think of this baby’s gender? Due April 2022

…meaning OP allegedly met this bloke when she was 8 weeks post-partum 🤣

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/10/2022 12:55

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:51

And you don’t have a 1 year old.

you have a less than 6 month old.

considering you posted this less than a year ago

Chocchoc88 · 11/10/2021 20:20
Hi all!

Had an 11 week scan so I know these things aren’t accurate then, I have a 14 month old baby boy, wondering what you all think of this baby’s gender? Due April 2022

Perhaps the OP has managed to crack super-speed ageing; considering she can drive 400 miles in 4 hours, anything is possible.

Everydaywheniwakeup · 09/10/2022 12:55

Are you taking the piss? Don't be so bloody stupid.

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:58

The sad thing is…

we will not change her mind. And those children will grow up in a sordid mess.

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:58

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/10/2022 12:55

Perhaps the OP has managed to crack super-speed ageing; considering she can drive 400 miles in 4 hours, anything is possible.

Show quote history

I would not be the least bit surprised if the op strapped her two babies into her car and broke every speed limit possible to do it in 4 hours

AllThatHoopla · 09/10/2022 13:01

Everydaywheniwakeup · 09/10/2022 12:55

Are you taking the piss? Don't be so bloody stupid.

Absolutely.

You need to rein yourself in here. No, don't move 400 miles away with two babies. Confused

tiredmumma93 · 09/10/2022 13:01

This is insane Hmm

3rdtimeisacharm · 09/10/2022 13:08

What the actual fuck? Are you asking whether you should move 400 miles away and leave your children behind, or whether you should move your children 400 miles away from their father for a guy you've just met?

You need to give your head a wobble

IAmAReader · 09/10/2022 13:18

Assuming this is not a wind-up it’s absurd you’d even consider moving with your kids further away from their Dad, but I know it happens -and unless the father is abusive or a deadbeat etc- It’s incredibly selfish.

There was a boy in my area I grew up with whose mum decides to move to New Zealand with her new partner. His dad took legal action but she won.

And as PPs have said you seem to have introduced him to your kids very quickly.

Mumofnarnia · 09/10/2022 13:35

You have only known each other 4 months and only see each other every other weekend (so that’s around 8 or 9 meets in total) and you’ve already met each other’s kids???? And talking about living together??
I’m not sure who’s idea it was to live together but rushing into relationships, declaring your love for someone extremely early and talking moving in together is a major red flag op. If it’s not you who’s suggested all this first then May I suggest you google ‘dating a narcissist’ and ‘how to spot an abuser’ because this has all the hallmarks of love bombing and abusive patterns stamped all over it! Yes there are some exceptions to the rule but they are extremely rare!

WaitingForBion · 09/10/2022 13:43

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/10/2022 12:58

The sad thing is…

we will not change her mind. And those children will grow up in a sordid mess.

I agree. What a fucking mess.

Blsp · 09/10/2022 13:47

Ffs.

His kids are adults. He moves to you.

4 fucking months though

MayThe4th · 09/10/2022 13:48

So the OP essentially jumped out of one man’s bed into another with a baby in between.

Christ some parents are just car crashes. ±

GrazingSheep · 09/10/2022 13:50

It sounds as if the children would be better off and safer living permanently with their father.

MayThe4th · 09/10/2022 13:51

FWIW when I got together with my dp I made it explicitly clear that I wouldn’t be moving anywhere while I still had a child at home whose dad lived nearby.

My dp’s job is very niche and for various reasons he has not been able to move here.

We’ve been together for 9 years.

LIZS · 09/10/2022 13:55

You are younger, vulnerable, fairly recent break up with preschool dc. He is old enough to have adult dc and is at a convenient distance. He cannot have spent that much tine with you or dc. Put it on hold and focus on your dc.

arewe · 09/10/2022 13:56

You've met him 4 months ago, been seeing him w/ends, so, 4x4= 16 times and already have 'great relationship' with his adult children and he's already met your 1yo and 2yo?! You sure move fast! Sorry, but 😱😱😱

myexisawanker · 09/10/2022 14:05

Has to be a wind up ! Nice try to though !!

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2022 14:13

Excellent. Another one.

harriethoyle · 09/10/2022 14:15

🙄🙄🙄

You're either a moron or a fraud. Neither are things to aspire to.

myexisawanker · 09/10/2022 14:20

It's worth doing the maths on wind up threads. Just saying

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