Is this Tinder?

[Dudfud]

As the subject header says…

Is the symbol in the middle Tinder? I’ve googled and it certainly fucking looks like Tinder to me.

Phone was locked and I don’t know the passcode so couldn’t see anything further.
Is there another app that has a symbol like this? Because I’m at a loss as to why my partner of 5 years would have it on his phone…

No doesn't have to be online, definitely make a fake profile and find him/message him obvs you have to match so find a photo of someone you know he would like 🤣

You don’t need social media to sign up, I’ve used tinder for more years than I care to admit, he’ll throw loads of crap like it’s for a friend, don’t know now it got on there, it’s an old profile. Heard it all.

defo second making a profile, find him(which you will v quickly if you set the distance close enough to you) and screenshot the profile.

I would put my own pic and put in the bio, oh hi x - bet you’re shocked to see me here… so was I shocked to see tinder notifications on your phone. Consider yourself dumped. you b*stard!

but that’s me I’m petty.

Don't need any socials, just an email and/or phone number.

Definitely tinder, sorry OP. I know you'll look for all the reasons for it to not be, but I've been here. ☹️

Thanks for all the advice.

I’ve signed up using my phone number. I haven’t seen him…yet.
I don’t plan to match with him - if I see him I plan to screenshot it then tell him one of my pals sent it to me, saying she recognised him on there.

Absolute bastard.

Maybe set your parameters as low as you can so you find him faster otherwise you could be swiping for weeks before you find him (if he is indeed on there). Also worth bearing in mind he might turn his visibility off if he's matched with someone and is chatting.

If you do that he'll just say it's an d account t and he doesn't know why he's profile is still being shown. You need to make sure you can engage with him on there so there's no doubt.

Set your distance to as low as you can and you will find him pretty quickly. However be prepared for the old excuse of it's an old profile.

I'm not sure what the tinder symbol is but my first thought was that it was the hotdeals app.

To be fair though, OP will know if the profile picture is one taken within the last five years so he might not be able to use the “old profile” excuse.

There's a setting on it where you can add peoples phone numbers who you don't want to pop up, so if he's added yours to the list he won't show up when you're swiping

You can also 'block' a particular phone number so they never see your profile (only works if the person you block logs in using their phone number)

He probably won't have thought to go and block you though if he's not expecting you to check

He may well have a generic picture on there. A lot do, so I'd scrutinize those that are in your area.

I’ve set the distance as low as I can (we live in the same area).

I’ve set the age range to allow for him trying to knock a few years off.
Still not seen him, although I did see someone I work with…

Him saying it’s an old account won’t wash with me. He’d told me he’d never done online dating before.

It will tell you when they were last logged on (or it used to when I used it)

OP I know this is a bit of a Mumsnet cliche but is there a possibility you won't find him because he's set his preferences to men?

You’ll find him unless he’s been really clever and set his home location miles away (or blocked your phone). It only took me a day of swiping to find loads of people from the same town that I knew

Tinder has a setting to not show you people who are contacts in your phone. Should sign up with a brand new email address

I hope he isn’t on there - but if he is, please don’t believe any of the lies he will tell you. It’s hard not to when you have feelings for someone

This is a very valid point…

if you don’t find him, try again as a man.

One of my good friends who is gay and has no morals, often sleeps with married men. Happens more than you would think - well more than I thought anyway!

He said their wife’s have no clue..

Honestly he may not even have his picture on there, he might just have put a picture of something else like scenery or some silly meme or some other strange picture as that’s what I’ve found a lot of men already in relationships tend to do. I have never really used tinder but I believe it tracks your location where you last used it/ logged on/ if logged on I believe it tracks where you are at that moment so if he isn’t at home at the moment it might not show he’s in your location.

Yeah, I wouldn’t even bother with the waiting to find him scenario, it’s likely you won’t find him as he’ll have a different name set or something to avoid being found by people you know, I would just show him the picture above and say, why are you on tinder!
5 years is a long time, everything out in the open is the best way to go!
Really feel for you OP

I agree with this actually.

Just play dumb, what is that icon? Is that WhatsApp, oh no, there is the WhatsApp one. Giz a look, what is it?!!…..

Why all the detective stuff?

The proof is right there in your first post OP.

He has denied ever using online dating so can't use the old profile excuse.

With that in mind, i would outright ask him and show him the pic as i did so.

Either way, it doesn't matter, clearly he cannot be trusted. Sorry OP xxx

First off, hug, I'm sorry, it doesn't look good...

BUT BUT BUT, I tend to look at things objectively with a black and white evidence sort of attitude...

1. How long has be been on there? For all you know it could be five minutes as a curiosity. But it could be months or years...

1. OBJECTIVE view (really sorry)... but we're only seeing one side if the story. Cheating is wrong, no denying that, but half the time someone is the monster, the other half they are the victim.

Were the both of you seemingly happy? Going out, fun times, minimal level of arguments... or... arguments, stress, financial difficulties, are you hard work?... (still not an excuse for cheating!!!)

1. Did he ever express a disapproval with the living situation? Not all men would consider "living apart until the children flew the coop" as serious... you can't build a life together, a house, your own family... I'm sorry, many guys would see that as YOU not being serious (devil's advocate).

As I said, I never condone it, but before we start crucifying for the cheating, the WHY is important. He might just be a dick... OR... he might just be really unhappy/unsatisfied and feel desperate for something serious. It of course doesn't excuse him for potentially cheating, don't get me wrong!

He can't be that clever as he hasn't turned off his notifications!

I hope you get this sorted quickly OP, how horrid for you to find this x