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Original poster

Bad sign or not necessarily?

57 replies

fe05ome · 30/09/2022 14:49

Been talking to a guy on OLD and we are meeting next week. It’s been going pretty well, seem to have a lot in common.

He is going away over the weekend with his friends (basically a boozy weekend) and he texted saying “right I’ll speak to you on monday as I’ll be drunk all weekend hahaha. Have a good weekend x”

Now I have zero problems with this - I’ve not even met him yet and I would never expect him to text me all throughout his holiday.

However, I wanted to ask from people’s experiences, is this something that may reflect how he would be in a relationship? Or not necessarily - do people tend to be like this at the beginning, and then if something progresses they’d be more communicative?
I am looking for a relationship and I could never be in one if I didn’t have that sort of contact, so I don’t know whether to just leave it there.

Sorry for the waffling!

OP posts:
Original poster
fe05ome · 03/10/2022 17:22

He texted me, he said “helloooo” and then I asked how his weekend was and he said it was good, asked how mine was etc. Hoping this is a good sign and that the date is going ahead lol

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 03/10/2022 18:33

Stop looking for 'signs', OP. Good relationships are based on clarity of communication. How is all this uncertainty making you actually feel? It doesn't sound fun. You'd be happier if he'd been in touch in a way that fitted more with the regularity you wanted, wouldn't you? You're essentially waiting around for him to show you he wants you. Why do you think you'd need to wait? Would the ideal guy make you wait?

Sandra1984 · 03/10/2022 19:50

OP, you have more red flags than this guy. Thank god he’s never going to read this thread otherwise he would be running in the opposite direction. His behaviour sounds totally normal for a lad in his 20’s, yours not so much.

PotatoScollop · 03/10/2022 20:49

Deary me OP, dare you ask a question about relationships and a potential love interest.

I don't think you've any red flags at all. Nothing wrong with wondering whether you are on the same page and so whether to invest time into meeting up etc. I think it's a perfectly reasonable question. I don't think it is, or isn't a sign of things to come, no. Unfortunately that's just what the process of dating is for. However seems you now have your answer and he has been in touch. Lovely!

Sandra1984 · 03/10/2022 20:56

PotatoScollop · 03/10/2022 20:49

Deary me OP, dare you ask a question about relationships and a potential love interest.

I don't think you've any red flags at all. Nothing wrong with wondering whether you are on the same page and so whether to invest time into meeting up etc. I think it's a perfectly reasonable question. I don't think it is, or isn't a sign of things to come, no. Unfortunately that's just what the process of dating is for. However seems you now have your answer and he has been in touch. Lovely!

being so incredibly invested in an OLD lad you've never met before is a red flag. I just hope he doesn't take advantage of her because guys pick up on that very fast and most will use it to their advantage.

Darbs76 · 03/10/2022 21:39

At this stage it wouldn’t bother me atall - if you were in a relationship or been on a few dates it would probably upset me. Don’t over think it

PotatoScollop · 04/10/2022 00:53

Sandra1984 · 03/10/2022 20:56

being so incredibly invested in an OLD lad you've never met before is a red flag. I just hope he doesn't take advantage of her because guys pick up on that very fast and most will use it to their advantage.

Show quote history

If she was over-invested, then yes. Wondering if it's a sign of the type of man who buggers off on binge-drinking weekends with his friends without so much as a word, isn't over-invested though. It's quite reasonable. Why waste your time on someone whom potentially has qualities you don't want? OP has stated it's fine now, they've not met, not in a relationship so it's not her business. I believe her, don't see a reason not to, to be quite honest. She simply is wondering how to screen out those types of people whom might do it down the line, and if this would be a potential sign. It's hardly bunny boiler behaviour to want to date sensibly.

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