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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So I was blocked this morning

36 replies

avacadoacrobatics · 29/09/2022 12:04

Was getting to know someone, going well I thought. We had kissed. We almost slept with each other but I felt it was a bit too soon and wanted to wait a bit more and get to know him. He seemed kind.

Last night we were chatting, lots of fun banter, he said he would see me at the weekend. This morning he blocked me.

So I know that it happens and I have probably dodged some kind of bullet but wow - it feels so, so awful! Like this horrible creeping kind of shame. I feel really anxious and also sad and like I am both too much and not enough at the same time. I just didn't see it coming and I feel a bit stupid. And a bad judge of character!

Not sure why I am posting, attempting to soothe my soul I suppose.

OP posts:
ICanHideButICantRun · 29/09/2022 12:05

The only conclusion anyone can come to is that he blocked you because you didn't sleep with him. You've dodged a bullet there, OP.

Original poster
avacadoacrobatics · 29/09/2022 12:06

Yes, I suspect so. God. I just didn't read him like that. Feel like a total muppet.

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 29/09/2022 12:09

He has a partner and they’ve found out about you?…

ClaryFairchild · 29/09/2022 12:10

He might have been "getting to know" a few women at the same time.

ICanHideButICantRun · 29/09/2022 12:10

The thing is, it's likely he would've blocked you if you had had sex with him. You'd feel even worse then.

Igotjelly · 29/09/2022 12:11

I suspect he has a partner who has found out.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 29/09/2022 12:13

I think he's blocked you because he doesn't want a notification popping up whilst he's with someone else. If he unblocks you later without comment, I'd put my money on this being the explanation.

easylikeasundaymorning · 29/09/2022 12:13

It can be a shock that's why - especially when things are starting off positively. Feels very unfair especially when you've done nothing wrong. It's like a digital door being slammed in your face.

It could be a for myriad of reasons.
The top 3 ones I'd say is that he's talking to others and another woman has just gone in to 'first place' so he's blocking everyone else he's talking too.
Or he's just not feeling it and is too cowardly to say that.
Or he's married/already in a relationship and blocks when he's had his fun or worried he might be found out

Plus it's also said that someone who will just turn around and block someone out of the blue after meeting/kisses etc are likely do it even if you had slept with him so I'd be relieved right now you'd held out on that as you'd probably feel even worse.

nancydroo · 29/09/2022 12:13

Good instincts OP by wanting to get to know him better and not sleeping with him. Brutal though. Block him back in case he comes round again. They always do.

Original poster
avacadoacrobatics · 29/09/2022 12:13

ICanHideButICantRun · 29/09/2022 12:10

The thing is, it's likely he would've blocked you if you had had sex with him. You'd feel even worse then.

Very true - it could have been much worse. It's never happened to me before, feels so icky. Live and learn I suppose.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 29/09/2022 12:22

I'm thinking he may have been caught. Whatever the case, I'm sorry it happened but I'm glad you didn't waste any more time on him.

Ofcourseshecan · 29/09/2022 12:23

Last night we were chatting, lots of fun banter, he said he would see me at the weekend. This morning he blocked me.

That's the worst, isn't it? Not that you lost the chance of a relationship with this liar, but that he seemed so likeable. As well as the disappointment, you feel a fool for being scammed.

But you're really not stupid, OP. It's natural for honest people to trust others. You just have to learn that in some situations (especially OLD) you're interacting with total strangers who want something from you, and they may or may not be decent honest people. OLD is a magnet for predators. But there are also good men out there. As others have said, you dodged a bullet this time.

Better luck next time. Meanwhile, I feel for you xx

Original poster
avacadoacrobatics · 29/09/2022 12:23

Yes, thank you. I feel weirdly anxious about it but it is better to know sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
StClare101 · 29/09/2022 12:25

You’ve dodged a bullet. Block him back in case he changes his mind.

WhenDovesFly · 29/09/2022 12:27

Please don't feel any shame OP, you've done nothing wrong.

Try to feel pleased that your instincts were spot on and told you not to sleep with him too soon. You would have felt so much worse if he'd blocked you after having sex.

Defo a bullet dodged with that one.

Shmithecat2 · 29/09/2022 12:28

Block the fucker back and give him no more head space.

jugglerofballs · 29/09/2022 12:28

There is definitely a muppet in this sorry and it isn’t you OP 💐

Watchkeys · 29/09/2022 12:35

Why does his (or anyone else's) behaviour make you a muppet? Have a look at how you're judging yourself. It's not only idiots and fools that get lied to.

Daisychainsx · 29/09/2022 12:36

He's probably been getting to know a few women at the same time, and has now picked one, and doesn't have the decency to tell you/any other girls so just blocks you to save him the hassle.

He is an absolute jackass.

Don't give him another thought and thank your lucky stars you didn't sleep with him.

Original poster
avacadoacrobatics · 29/09/2022 12:59

jugglerofballs · 29/09/2022 12:28

There is definitely a muppet in this sorry and it isn’t you OP 💐

That made me laugh.

I think I can see from this that my self-esteem could be in a better place. I am going to stick to hanging out with the dog for a while.

OP posts:
Weekenders · 29/09/2022 13:04

A real shitty thing to do.

It could be for multiple reasons so I wouldn't dwell on any of the amateur sleuth hypotheses you'll get on here.

Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you have ultimately dodged a bullet, as if it wasn't now it'd be when you were more invested. He lacks character so it had no future.

ThirtyThreeTrees · 29/09/2022 13:10

I think your looking at it wrong. This is a great result, you've shake off an idiot before you even slept with him.

No shame in that. He doesn't sound like much of a catch now.

I did online dating for a while after splitting with my ex. A lot of it is like this. Messy, ghosted, etc. Most are eejits but then the right one comes along and you quickly forget about the behaviour of the rest.

WatieKatie · 29/09/2022 15:20

It tells you all you need to know about him. Thank your lucky stars ⭐️

ThisShipIsSinking · 29/09/2022 15:31

His behaviour says alot more about him than you, l hope someone much better comes your way, don' t allow it to knock your confidence, he' s showing you his true colours, time to move on.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 29/09/2022 15:43

That’s so nasty
there is nothing anyone can say as it’s really hurtful

I reiterate that anyone who does this is a pretty low version human
maybe he hates women deep down
maybe he hates himself

who knows , but I’m sorry and it’s a really unkind thing to do