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Original poster

Living apart together with a baby

101 replies

Fuzzyhippo · 27/09/2022 18:43

I'm expecting in January and me and my partner of 7 years will continue to live 45 minutes apart with our parents due to financial and personal reasons which are out of my control. He's not the easiest person to communicate with as he takes a good few hours before he replies to texts or calls at times, so I'm trying to figure out how it'll work when I go into labor. Has anyone else done this and it's worked out well?

OP posts:
swingersnotroundabouts · 29/09/2022 18:52

I did this. Biggest mistake of my life. He led a bachelor lifestyle and then got angry when I said I was tired when "we agreed to live apart so couldn't help me" Also stopped staying the night when baby was born "in case the snoring woke us".
Went from spending all weekend together to Sunday afternoons. Never changed a nappy, bathed, put to bed.
Raised that child on my own and we eventually split up as he turned abusive.
Now taking me to court as he wants full custody 🙄

ReadtheReviews · 29/09/2022 18:54

Oh no!! Ha! Re. Comment about my post! It's because he is appalling with money, burned through an inheritance which would have been a down-payment and I don't want him burning through mine or carrying the load. Or frankly, being trapped by money as so many people become!

ReadtheReviews · 29/09/2022 18:59

I'm here really to say op's situation can actually work and be quite nice for her if he does get properly involved. Traditional set up isn't always best.

SpinningFloppa · 29/09/2022 19:02

swingersnotroundabouts · 29/09/2022 18:52

I did this. Biggest mistake of my life. He led a bachelor lifestyle and then got angry when I said I was tired when "we agreed to live apart so couldn't help me" Also stopped staying the night when baby was born "in case the snoring woke us".
Went from spending all weekend together to Sunday afternoons. Never changed a nappy, bathed, put to bed.
Raised that child on my own and we eventually split up as he turned abusive.
Now taking me to court as he wants full custody 🙄

That’s what’s happened to me I ended up feeling resentful as he would go home when he “needed a break” but I never got one, he had the cheek to say coming to mine was “like a holiday” and apparently all his friends partners were jealous as they would love to be in my situation 🙄 the situation was only benefiting him!

OneForTheRoadThen · 30/09/2022 07:07

Haven't you got 4 with him SpinningFloppa? Was he like that right from the start like Op's partner?

overthinkersanonnymus · 03/10/2022 18:18

Wait a minute?

@Fuzzyhippo I have replied to a few of your posts over the last few months, in each one you've been at a different stage of pregnancy. If you're baby is due in January then you are at least 5 months pregnant at the moment. But back in June when you posted about your bf being absent etc, you were 5 months gone then? Have you got your dates right?

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 18:24

overthinkersanonnymus · 03/10/2022 18:18

Wait a minute?

@Fuzzyhippo I have replied to a few of your posts over the last few months, in each one you've been at a different stage of pregnancy. If you're baby is due in January then you are at least 5 months pregnant at the moment. But back in June when you posted about your bf being absent etc, you were 5 months gone then? Have you got your dates right?

I've had a scan now to confirm as I have PCOS so periods all over the place. I'm 25 weeks now

OP posts:
LIZS · 03/10/2022 18:29

He needs to be on standby to drive over, stay with you and commute(paying someone to do his farm work) or you need to move there. He is prioritising the occasional animal emergency over his p and child's health and wellbeing Hmm , really?

excelledyourself · 03/10/2022 19:25

Did you not discuss this scenario for your previous pregnancy?

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:29

I have read some of your other threads. This man is not a stable person and your relationship isn't stable. You barely know this man and got pregnant very quickly . If I was you I'd plan to be a single parent I'm sorry.

redbigbananafeet · 03/10/2022 19:36

When posting in June you were 2 months pregnant? But thought you were 5? When did you apply for termination?

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 19:48

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:29

I have read some of your other threads. This man is not a stable person and your relationship isn't stable. You barely know this man and got pregnant very quickly . If I was you I'd plan to be a single parent I'm sorry.

I've been with him for 7 years so I didn't exactly get pregnant quickly

OP posts:
victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:51

Oh so this baby isn't with the man who was a new boyfriend in May?

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 19:53

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:51

Oh so this baby isn't with the man who was a new boyfriend in May?

No, that's just someone I had a very quick fling with while my current partner and me were on a "break". Then got back together quickly after. All very messy..

OP posts:
victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:54

So you were pregnant when you had a fling with someone else?

britneyisfree · 03/10/2022 19:57
Shock
Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 19:57

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 19:54

So you were pregnant when you had a fling with someone else?

No I obviously didn't know I was pregnant at that point

OP posts:
crumpetswithjam · 03/10/2022 20:00

I give it two mins before this thread is zapped

3rdtimeisacharm · 03/10/2022 20:00

No, that's just someone I had a very quick fling with while my current partner and me were on a "break". Then got back together quickly after. All very messy..

Jesus Christ

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 20:00

Well counting back if you're due in January are you sure this man is the father?

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 20:01

So now I'm being shamed over a fling that happened before I knew I was pregnant? 😂

OP posts:
LIZS · 03/10/2022 20:01

Is your mw aware of the dysfunctionality of your relationship and the potential logistical difficulties. Do you drive? If you move to a caravan is it in the same hospital area?

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 03/10/2022 20:02

victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 20:00

Well counting back if you're due in January are you sure this man is the father?

Yes dates all add up and never slept with the other without protection so wouldn't of been possible

OP posts:
victoriacrosshairs · 03/10/2022 20:02

I'm not shaming you. It's just confusing.

excelledyourself · 03/10/2022 20:08

This man ghosted you during your last pregnancy. And considering you previously said he was the only man you've been with, I suspect he was the father of your first baby too.

I understand you are vulnerable, but you are about to become a mother. So you need to start facing the reality of your actual situation, OP. Not the one you're hoping for.

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