Husband’s behaviour is confusing.

[Kaynay66]

I have been married for less than 2 years. Over time my husband is becoming more verbally aggressive.

He begins a fight for no reason. E.g. I assumed he went to put back a piece of item he picked up. So I was waiting for him. However, he wanted to buy the item which I never realised. He had a go at me. I told him it was as a mistake as I thought he was not buying it. He start to have a go at me to the point public were looking at me. I told him not to be rude and he said I need to stop acting brave.

He picks on me and when I try justify myself (not argue back but explain myself) he cuts me off. He starts telling me I am a liar and I chat crap. I don’t raise my voice, shout or swear.

Then it got to the point where I stopped explaining myself and just listened to his random outbursts. It became mentally tiring so switching off to as how I coped. He told me I had a mental disorder and needed an assessment.

Then when I go to bed as I need to start work early mornings, he will make so much noise on purpose. He will play music loud even though I have asked he use headphones. I will go in another room, then he will come in there and make noise. I told him the noise is too much so I’ll leave for tonight. He told me to FO out the home.

he never apologises and calls me toxic.

Dear OP, I think you should consider yourself lucky for being able to pick up on this so early in the marriage. Like every other person reading your post, I will say the same, what you are describing is not confusing at all, it is very abusive and you should consider leaving right away. Does not matter why he is doing this; whether its another women, control or he is just an ashole, the result is the same for you, you need to leave him and do not look back. Just one advice, do not try to explain to him why you are leaving because that will not be possible. He will twist your words, deflect, argue and by the end you will not know what hit you. Just come to him and tell him "this is not working for me, I am leaving". Good luck OP.💕

Please, please double up on contraception OP.

Men like this love women being pregnant and vulnerable so they are less likely to leave.

Don't let it come to that.

He just called to say shout at me more. He blamed me for everything. He called me toxic and attention seeker. I didn’t say anything and remained silent.
There was no self awareness of how he screams and humiliates me. He said it’s over. I did not say anything other than “ok”.

This behaviour is abnormal.

You should be running to a solicitor's office and moving out of that home immediately. He is abusive and dangerous. His abuse is escalating dramatically and I really fear for you. Get out, right now, and whatever you do, do not get pregnant by this man.

Of course there's no awareness or admitting his behaviour is abnormal or abusive. Even if he did admit it, he believes he is justified in doing so. Only you can change your life. You are an active participant in the marriage, so gather your strength and leave, before it gets to be more and more years of your life, self-esteem and confidence down the drain

He said it's over so go and phone some solicitors for advice, stay with someone you trust and initiate divorce proceedings and empty half your joint account, if you have one. x

in a way this behavior is normal for him and it won’t improve. He was showing to you that it’s over, he doesn’t want to be with you (and probably with anyone else, but it doesn’t matter) and now he said to you it’s over. I think you have to accept it and make arrangements: an appointment with lawyer, copying bank documents etc. please don’t tell him that you re going to file for divorce, start the process and then notify him.
Im really sorry that you are in this but the sooner you accept the end and start moving to your next chapter of life without him, the better.
you don’t want to live like this surely?

And I agree with @Aquamarine1029 that he is dangerous.

Yes. Divorce is the way forward.

You have no children?

I'd pick up important possessions and never return to the marital home again, from that moment. I have been in an abusive relationship so this isn't a knee jerk, LTB type reaction. There's no reason to stay there for one minute longer than it takes to get your stuff.

Hes been trying to make you leave him. Presumedly he can then play the victim and keep the house.

I hope there are no bairns in tbe middle of this.

Oh op they (abusers) are all lovely to start with. If they weren't no one would ever have a relationship or marry them.

Abuse often ramps up after marriage or pregnancy

Sounds like a mental health crisis, maybe secret gambling or a break down, he needs to get help, whatever happened to in sickness and in health?

Oh ffs @Andypandy799 - it’s sickness and health but also love, honour and respect. She’s not getting that at all from this dick.

Oh, FFS. Some people will make any excuse possible for abusers under the old chestnut/bullshit of "in sickness and in health."

This man is dangerous and horribly abusive, and nothing excuses that. The only acceptable advise to give a woman dealing with this is to leave her abuser.

No it doesn't. It sounds like a typically abusive male who sees his wife as little more than a walking, talking household appliance.

Don't ever sleep with him again. Leave him. He is vile and will destroy you if you stay.

Leave leave leave leave leave

Whatever happened to in sickness and health?

Are you kidding?

OP is being abused by her husband.

You're saying she should stay with someone abusing her because you think he's mentally ill.

Whether he's ill or just a horrible person, or both, he is not a safe person to live with because he is abusing her not only verbally and emotionally, but physically by purposefully stopping her sleeping properly which is a tactic used frequently by abusers to control and exhaust their victim into compliance.

It's terrifying someone could read all of OP's posts and come to the conclusion that if she leaves, she would be breaking her wedding vows so should stay.

Even the sleep deprivation tactic alone is chilling:

https://www.psychreg.org/sleep-deprivation-tactics-domestic-abusers/

More specifically, sleep deprivation abusee takes place when the perpetrator is making it impossible for their victim to fall asleep or keeping them awake all night. Sleep deprivation is considered a form of physical abuse; however, some researchers define sleep disruption as a form of severe neglect and aggressionn, affecting the victim’s ability to process the next day effectively.

Sleep disruption limits the person’s opportunities or ability to achieve, due to over-exhaustion, resulting in the victim becoming isolated.
Abusers use sleep as a form of aggression and control, immobilising and imprisoning their victim within their mind, due to the lack of sleep interrupting the victim’s ability to react to situations, due to over-exhaustionn_.

a lot of women tell the same story that everything was fine in the beginning of the relationship and I know it’s easier said then done but as it’s so early on in the marriage, now is a great time to leave before he does you permanent damage. I promise you will not regret leaving him.