Been with my DP for 5 years after meeting at work (don’t work together anymore).
I have 1 DS from a previous relationship. Ds and DP get on fine, my ex is very involved with our ds so I’ve never needed anyone to kind of step in to the dad role. I get on great with DP’s family, he gets on great with mine. We have an amazing social life with joint friends and our individual friends, we go on great holidays etc. We see eachother 4-6 nights a week either at my place or his. He’s so kind, supportive, funny, caring, every word you want to use to describe a partner.
We have discussed moving in together several times, we both own our homes. I got made redundant and used the redundancy pay to go to uni and retrain and loads of other things have meant moving in together have taken a back seat.
But this weekend I sat him down and brought it up again, and we ended up having a huge argument. I won’t go into it all but I need to start coming to terms with the fact that he loves me, but can’t commit to me. Even writing this now I’m in tears. The thought of us not being together destroys me to the point I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I KNOW what I need to do, I know what everyone is going to say but our whole lives are intertwined, we have just booked a 6 week trip to America next year with DS, booked the hotel for his sisters wedding abroad next December etc.
i’m rambling and this post is all over the place. How can I even begin to come to terms with us not being a couple anymore? I literally can’t stand that feeling, my heart feels like it’s going to come out of my chest. I went to work yesterday after the argument and spent most of the day (I am a community staff nurse so between patients!!) crying, feeling sick, couldn’t eat. I literally don’t know how to even start processing splitting up, I feel like I might kill me 😢