She was exactly my type

[PrixMax]

I’m a little bit upset but I wanted to check whether I was just being over sensitive.

My boyfriend was telling me a story about a woman he had met and described her as ‘5ft 1, slim (etc) and exactly my type’.

I am 6ft and decidedly not slim and really could not be the opposite of ‘his type’.

I feel a bit like second best but then maybe I’m just being over sensitive because he is with me and not the 5ft 1 woman (presuming she’d be interested of course).

Am I being ridiculous?

You need him to agree that he wants to bring you down before you break up with him?

My ex was exactly like that, making all sorts of comments to make me feel like I was never good enough and would risk losing him if I didn't try and meet his standards.
Made me wonder many times why he even decided to be with me in the first place?

Fast forward a few years of choosing to close my eyes instead of seeing the red flags, he was an awful manipulator who destroyed my self confidence.

My boyfriend did this, came home from a night out and when I asked if he had a good night said " my mates gf was fit as fuck" then wondered why I didn't want to have sex. They are stupid

One of the tricks in a narcissists tool bag is triangulation. It's basically when they make a comment about a third party that's designed to put you down and unsettle you. When you react that way anyone would, they can gaslight you for over reacting.

If there are any other traits where they create situations and then blame you, these are red flags.

Just because he denies it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

It doesn’t really matter if he does it/doesn’t intend to do it/it’s all in your imagination - one of the fundamentals of a relationship is that being in it makes you feel good about yourself.

Sounds like it’s not working for you.

Ugh. What an utter bell end.

Throw him in the 🗑

He might emphatically deny it with words op, but he sure as anything isn't with his actions. I used to date someone who did similar to this - constant, low level comments mostly - and am so grateful that I don't any longer. I look back now and realize how emotionally abusive he was. You deserve someone that builds you up whenever they can, not someone who does the opposite. He's showing you who he is. Run.

Get rid.

Yep the Jason momoa thing will work LoL

Well he's not going to admit to it is he?!! If you don't dump him now you will look back one day and realise this was the moment you should have listened to your instincts.

What an arse. You can do better.

OP, we all say dumb things. If he had said it and then been mortified, or if you'd told him you were hurt and he'd apologized, I'd chalk it up to foot-in-mouth-itis.

But he actually doubled down on saying hurtful things, knowing it would hurt, and I would be thinking incredibly carefully about being with someone who was so cruel or cavalier with my feelings.

He can deny it all he likes, but the proof is how he makes you feel with what he actually says and does in the day to day interactions.

Oh that's his insecurity at play. He's trying to subtly break your confidence so you will think you are lucky that he has chosen you (and won't realise there are better men out there for you).

OP, he's a twat. I bet if you think about it, he's done or said similar things before. I bet you're gorgeous and he's an insecure bell end.

What a twat

He sounds awful, why do so many set the bar so low for themselves? Why would anyone be with a person who makes them feel bad about who they are, accept poor treatment and stay? Op ditch this one, raise your standards and find a person who shows you kindness love AND respect.,

To say what he did is bad enough, but possibly forgivable if he genuinely apologised. But to respond by gaslighting and blaming you for this is nasty. You need to bin him. He'll always make you feel shit about yourself.

As his denials... of course he's not going to admit it!

He's is definitely trying to put you down and knock your confidence. What a prick. He sounds insecure.

I would bin this one.

It is likely that this was said on purpose to make you feel insecure. Red flag.

This reminds me of a colleague and her BF.

They had been together 3 or 4 years and she was asking about the next steps. He was very reluctant and kept avoiding discussions. So eventually they had a big row.

Reading between the lines he liked her a lot etc but not enough to marry. He was enjoying her company until someone better, more suitable came along. On reflection the signs had been there but she hadn't seen them.

OP, if he wants to bring you down he isn't the one for you. You need someone who builds you up and champions you. Surely that's what loving someone is about.

There's a type of guy out there who gets his kicks from knocking you down a peg or two. They're insecure and have a mean streak.
He's punching above his weight and he knows it, so this little comment was not an accident, it happened by design.

I could never imagine saying the equivalent of this to my DH, even if I was having a bitchy moment, it's unkind and unnecessary.

Throw this one back OP, you don't need this belittling shit in your life.

Of course he denies it OP! He's not about to admit that he's being a nasty dickhead. But actions speak louder than words. The fact is that he does make you feel like that, and doesn't apologise when you point it out to him but turns it around to make it your fault (ie you are jealous).

Oh God, life is too short to spend with bastards like this. Get rid, you sound gorgeous and deserve someone so much nicer than him.

I remember a married guy I used to (naively) be friends with. We used to visit museums, etc. I never fancied him in the slightest. I remember him one day telling me at great length how his preference was for very curvy women. I didn't think much of it, other than noting I'm the complete opposite. Anyway, then through various other routes I found out that he was planning to get me into bed. So not only did he assume I fancied him (he was frog-like); he also assumed that I was willing to fuck a married man (never done it and never will); and to boot he was seemingly trying to neg me into it! I told him I knew what he was up to, and never heard from him again. Prick.

And actually I had an ex who used to try and triangulate me with other women. When he was with me he would tell me how many other women were desperately in love or lust with him; and then after we'd split up he would do things like phone me on my birthday and say, "ha ha my girlfriend's with me, she looks pissed off that I'm speaking to you now". To which I remember replying, "I'm not surprised, don't do it then". So I've been on both sides of it with him. I last heard from him in Lockdown One when he texted me to say he had dreamt of me. He won't have been single, because he always has at least one woman on the go. Blocked and deleted finally. I will never see or hear from him again.

Yep, triangulation is deffo part of the prick's playbook. And there are so many of them. Get rid.