Ex wife won’t leave partners home

[Banana2079]

I have been with my partner for a year and a half, He separated from his wife when she had an affair with her work colleague and decided to settle with him And they are still together.
As they have a five-year-old son together he moved out of the family home So son could continue school And not create too much stress for him.
He does not own the home he is a tenant And the only one named on the tenancy- it is a housing association property.
He has been paying the rent there as he is legally responsible as the named tenant And has been paying the council tax and other household bills, He has also been paying his child after school care fees which are extortionate
He has asked his ex-wife to contribute towards the rent to which she agreed to as she is living there and he would like to move out of his mums house Whilst they both decide next steps . Currently as he’s paying all the bills and rent for a property he is not living in plus after school fees . He is unable to move out of his mums front room , His mum Who is in her late 70s has said that she would like her front room back As currently he is sleeping on a futon in there with all of his stuff.
Recently he discovered that his wife has not been paying any rent at all and There are now rent arrears as a result. She has also applied to child maintenance service who have told her he doesn’t have to pay her as he is paying for her rent and bills and after school fees

I did say to him that he should have been calling the housing Association monthly check That she was paying her half of the rent however I also said that seeing as he is the only one on the tenancy he is legally responsible for all of the rent regardless of whatever arrangement he has with her.
It’s not possible for him to live with me at the moment as I Moved in with my elderly parents st around time we met so that I can care for them along with my seven-year-old daughter For a period of time until I figure out other arrangements .

He mention to the wife what is going on with the flat, (He is quite attached to his flat because it was a legacy tenancy handed to him when his dad died of cancer)
His wife earns quite a lot of money And is one of the heads of quite a prestigious well-known department store
He mentioned to her 2 months ago that he thinks that she should move out seeing as the property is in his name , she refuses to pay rent or bills and can afford to find her own place esp now she has moved on - she then applied for an occupation order
the judge didn’t grant one and told them both to come back when the divorce comes through
he does want the flat back as he has lots of memories of his dad there , was his place before he met her and wasnt the one who ended the marriage plus pays rent and council tax ect
she has also had her boyfriend over so he feels like he is paying for them both to live Rent and bill free
I try not to get involved as don’t want to be seen as meddling however I do worry about him as he is becoming quite upset about his living situation- he could afford the flat social housing rates but works as a carer and can’t afford to private rent although she can
also he is upset that he helped bring his son up and saw him daily -and was usually the one providing all the childcare As she works odd hours .and . she often stops him from going round , recently she took him out of school for a 2 wk holiday without telling him on the day he was meant to pick him up from school
he is worried she will get tenancy transferred into her name
any advice ?

Are they still married, because it doesn't sound like they got divorced?

I think you're doing the right thing stepping away.
It's not easy getting divorced and I wouldn't date someone while they were. A shit way to start a relationship.

She is not an ex wife
She is his wife
It is probably cheaper for his wife & child to remain in the HA property under his tenancy name, rather than they leave & live somewhere else

He doesn't seem ready for divorce & he may never divorce

Too much baggage

This man is not free to date. He is married and his life is a shitshow. He should be focused on parenting, sorting his housing and sorting the divorce. None of this is anything to do with you. At all. Surely this ridiculous chaos can’t be worth it, just to have a boyfriend?

Maybe cheaper but he is paying for her to live there As she refuses to pay anything towards rent and bills meaning he cannot move on in his own place if a tenancy remains in his name then he will be legally responsible And as it is a legacy tenancy it can’t be transferred to her name
You lot are all right though this is just too much stress for me I think I need a break

Yeah, dating is meant to be fun, that’s the sole point of it. None of this is any of your business. Leave it to your boyfriend and his wife to figure out, it’s literally nothing to do with you.

Hello,
Has anybody on here had to request a police check on their ex partners, new partner? Have you had the results returned?

I requested a police check after a number of incidents. I also requested the results at the same time. I have had nothing.

I ask because my son is spending a lot of time with the new partner. My son is returning upset. The new partner has been shouting at my son. She told him to get out the house which I witnessed on a video call. My son does not want to visit her house at all. However, his dad spends a lot of contact time, school hols, weekends with his new partner and takes our son along.

The communication is poor. My ex and new partner have prevented contact and communication a lot. My son and I were close. I do not want to lose him. His father and new partner have left him unsupervised on a number of occasions.

I have reported all incidents. I am concerned about the next holiday. How else can I help my 9 year old son (has SEMH)?

The police and social have not listened nor taken it seriously.
What can I do?

@ThunderKat sorry to hear of your difficulties, however you have posted on the end of an old thread. You would be best to start a new thread (there should be a button at the top of the page) so you are more likely to get replies.

Apologies. I'm new to this.

No need to apologise! It's not always easy to see how to do things. I hope you are able to re-post and get some helpful responses.