Does looks/sexual attraction matter you

[Username593]

Like, If you didnt find the man visually/sexually attractive then would you still pursue a relationship with him?

Does a mans body/looks matter to you?

I prefer to date someone that I find attractive. But ive found myself becoming attracted to a few men that I was never attracted after getting to know them. But that’s rare for me.

Looks matter, but that doesn't mean conventional attractiveness. I have things that I prefer. I like people who look friendly, people who look angry/moody (all the time) always make me uncertain where I stand. So that's important to me. I don't know, I think personality is a huge part of attraction and attractiveness. In both men and women. When I find someone who is on my wavelength I see things that I missed when I first met them? The way their eyes change colour slightly in different moods, or different lights, or how they look when they are confused or laughing....

I love photographers who take pictures of people and are able to capture something that makes you believe you know a tiny bit of that person, even though they are a stranger. I am an artist and I have had the opportunity to paint so many people and I am always surprised by how the little details are what can make the difference in attractiveness, and how much capacity there is to find beauty.

As other people have said, sexual attraction and looks aren't necessarily correlated. My current partner is the least conventionally good looking guy I've ever dated. Doesn't even compare to my ExH. But OMG the sexual chemistry is incredible. And it started the second I met him - this extraordinary physical attraction. I think it's something to do with pheromones!

@TBOM well how would you feel if your husband thought that you were the least attractive woman that he has dated or thought that you were unattractive but liked you cause of personality?

@Account492 why are you so invested in how other people find people attractive? And she said not conventionally, not that he was unattractive.

Why can’t you get your head around people finding other things about people attractive other than physical appearance?

I agree compelely with the many pp who have said that looks and attraction are not the same thing.

I can think of people I know who are 'good looking' (either classically, or by my own definition) but I'm not attracted to them. And people who are not so 'good looking' who I find attractive.

My experience is that attraction can be build over time, and that a slow burner relationship can become very hot in time!

Attraction is important in a relationship, but I'd suggest giving it time if you get along well with the person but aren't certain of the 'spark'. A spark can certainly grow (that old story of you suddenly looked at an old friend with new eyes for example). Sometimes you just need to know the person person to see the attraction.

I have had ex's who were fine looking on paper, instant 'attraction' in that respect, but it came to nought. And a very slow burner that turned in to 'can't get enough of him' - and if I'd dismissed him on day 1 (or month 1) as 'not my type' physically I'd have missed out on the relationship of a lifetime.

I really wouldn't care if my OH thought I was not classically good looking, but it would bother me if my OH wasn't attracted to me. But that isn't the same as me being pretty / good looking.

I've known many people f both sexes who you'd think were extremely beautiful if you saw a picture of them, but who aren't attractive. And that isn't just to me either. The most popular people with the opposite sex, even at my high school, weren't necessarily the prettiest / best looking. And sometimes a very pretty girl or good looking man could just have something off-putting about them which means they struggle to meet someone.

Fancying them is important. I didnt fancy my ex and it was a mess.

It's not even about good looks although handsome is nice. It's about thinking they are sexy.

I think it's wrong for a man to come on a female forum and lecture them on who they should/shouldn't be attracted to, and for what reasons.

But there you go.

I agree with a PP that you seem to be awfully invested in telling women who they should fancy.

@Account492 That isn’t what I said at all. The exact opposite. I’m physically attracted to him beyond belief. It’s just he’s not conventionally good looking. Neither am I as it happens.

But I’d be fine if someone said they love me for who I am rather than how I look.

Yes, very important. I once had a boyfriend who I didn't find attractive. I hated kissing him, I hated him touch me, I hated having sex with him. Eventually I found myself crying in the bathroom after sex one time, and that's when I knew I had to end it.

He was a nice guy, I just didn't find him attractive in any way. After I broke up with him he got nasty.

Never again thanks.

😂

I’ve just read all of @Account492 posts. Oh dear.

More than that, I think it's homophobic to state that sexuality is a preference based on visual looks not an innate orientation. Stating that 'looks aren't important' doesn't mean you are automatically bi FFS.

You hear the steriotype that all men would shag a woman even if they dont find her attractive but thats not me

Is this because you're such a Nice Guy™?

I couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t attracted to. It’s not about looks, it’s about chemistry.

You hear the stereotype that all men would shag a woman even if they dont find her attractive but thats not me

This isnt as widespread as many people pretend it is. You can tell by all the MN posts about women supposedly in happy marriages and their partner doesnt even touch them.
If men know they could just "do it and get over with it" to save their relationships, more would. The reality is, the attraction isnt there and they dont know how to say that

Life’s too short to fuck people that you’re not attracted to